Cineraceus Mors Book 1: Principium
by Ami3vaYah3Dyn
Summary: AU. Harry learns that he can do magic early on and meets a crazy snake who teaches him about the magical world. Harry and Selynda will have to deal with a threat coming worse then the Dark Lord: Cineraceus Mors. Gray!Harry,  HAS BEEN REWRITTEN-ON PROFILE
1. Prologue

_**A/N: IMPORTANT NOTICE!**_

**July 3, 2011**

**As it said on the summary, this story is in the process of being rewritten. The new version is already up, but not all of the chapters are posted. This is the old one, and I suggest that you read_ Cineraceus Mors: I, Principium_ (which is the new version) instead of this one, unless you're too impatient to see the future chapters. And, er, sorry I forgot to put up the little memo... Whoops. I don't know how long ago I posted the AN below, but it's been awhile. **

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Hey peoples!

(Yes it's a word! Look it up!)

Okay, if you've read this story before (well, not the whole thing cause I haven't finished it yet) then you know that I didn't have this up. I had a list of basically what my boundaries and goals (err… sorta) that would be in this story. Well, I decided today to go back and read it and, well… I don't think I was doing such a great job 'cause I kinda forgot what I wrote. Sure, I was still going along with it to a point but to me I was really straying off the strawberry if you get my meaning. In all honesty I wasn't going to make Cineraceus Mors as 'funny' as I have it now. I was going to make it all gloom and doom, but then I thought of Selynda and I just didn't have a clue how I would accomplish that if I had her, and I_ had_ to have her.

Aren't you happy I'm awful at being Sirius?

(My God, that was a horrible pun)

(Yes to those of you who think I'm crazy- which I am-, I'm just writing this as I go along)

ANYWAY!

I have a new, _new_ list.

(Which is to say that I have a new list as I haven't made a new list before this one. Do you follow?)

And, yeah, I am aware that I said I wouldn't change any of the chapters (even though this isn't technically a chapter) until I was done with the whole thing. BUT, I thought that this was necessary.

Now, for a longer summary…

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Boy-Who-Wouldn't Die, Boy-Who-Lives-to-Scare-People, The-Baby, The-Boy,and (my favorite!)_ That-Little-Kid-With-The-Black-Hair_-

(Catchy isn't it?)

Learns that he can do magic early on, and on a stroll through the forest in the dead of the night (you gotta love him) meets the doom of the world.

Yeah, that's right, he meets…

He-he meets…

SELYNDA! AHHHHHHHH!

Kidding, only kidding. Harry's the doom of the world.

(Err…)

Anyhoo, he meets a crazy snake, Selynda, who teaches him things about the Magical World.

Don't ask how a giant snake can attain the information! Some things are better left unsaid!

Like how if you're reading a book about people on the run from people who are trying to kill them, and you think, _'where do they go to the bathroom if there is no running water, they can't go outside unless they want to be splattered against the pavement and if they're in an abandoned warehouse with germs, dirt and mold everywhere?' _Like that.

Wow, I'm good at getting off track. This isn't even a summary anymore!

ANYWAY! (Again!) SHUT UP!

Hmm… ignore me?

Harry starts Hogwarts with McGonagall convinced that Harry and Selynda are pretending to be insane while twisting everyone to do whatever they want, while Snape is absolutely ready to kill Quirrell as he is completely convinced that he is _not_ the Dark Lord as the Dark Lord would _never_ act so undignified even if he was pretending to be someone else. The Sorting Hat has lost it and created a new house that nobody even knows it made. Dumbledore is ignorant to the fact that Harry is setting everything to crash down onto him. Draco Malfoy is loved by every single house, and is now the new poster boy of the Wizarding World, all thanks to Harry (yeah, you read this right!). Sirius is being (Dun, dun, _dun_) serious. Daphne Greengrass is ready to wet her pants. Millicent Bulstrode is mysteriously absent from class. Voldemort keeps choking on his dinner. The Weasley Twins are suspiciously quiet. Some idiot keeps following Harry around. Hermione is going CUCKOO. Ron is eating more then _ever_. Maria is _cursing_. Somebody is writing a new column on the darkest secrets of Hogwarts while Harry, Selynda and Marv are investigating who it could be. Tonks is suddenly a President of a new, secret company that no one knows about. Lucius Malfoy has to deal with a pro-Hufflepuff son and the world is close to experiencing first hand the mythical Cineraceus Mors. And there's freaking _two_ cats!

_Oh, oh my,_

_They're all going to die._

_Too bad,_

_How sad,_

_The Earth must want to cry!_

Oh, did I mention that Harry is the new Dark Prince?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

This story is not and will not be a slash, and nor will the sequels be! (But I'll probably have some man/man pairing for random minor characters- you've got to remember that is story is about the _story_, _not _about the relationships.)

Eventual Harry/Ginny, though it's a long way from that and will probably kick off from Book 4. Unless I change my mind about the pairing.

I can say that Hermione and Ron _will _end up together (…Possibly. I might make Ron alone and Hermione with someone who everyone can agree upon). No, they won't be best friends with Harry. Actually, it's unlikely that I'll make them friends at all. More like enemies.

Every character will have the same houses that they had in the canon- except Harry, obviously.

_Will Harry be playing Quidditch?_ No comment as of now.

_Will Sirius be released early?_ Yup.

_When?_

After Voldemort gets his body back.

_When does Voldemort get his body back?_

None of your business! Jeez, people are so nosey!

No, Harry doesn't wear any glasses. I think they are too inconvenient. And no, don't be offended all you four eyes, I, too, wear glasses so… Whatever!

_Is Harry going to be Light or Dark?_

For now, neither. Later, either Neutral or Dark. Most likely Dark.

_Am I planning on having Harry have a bunch of female slaves?_

_Nooo._ Really, _chrisguy9017_, I have_ no_ idea where you got that one from.

_Will I have Harry go on Time Travel adventures?_

Yes! But it'll be Book 3 unless I get impatient before then. (And I already have! Guess who's back!)

_Will Harry be a magical creature?_

Umm. Perhaps. If I can make it interesting enough without throwing off the story.

_Who will Selynda end up with?_

No clue.

Oh! I'm setting my story in the present instead of the 1990's so…

The questions above weren't really asked. I just made them up. (Except the female slaves. That was a comment that complimented how I didn't do that. I thank you.)

-Vayah

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

This is the prologue. No, the other chapters won't be like this.

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/_Blah_**

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**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Prologue: The Boy Who Lived_

* * *

_In the beginning,_

_the universe was created._

_this made a lot of people very angry,_

_and has been widely regarded as a bad idea._

_~Douglas Noel_

* * *

"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"

"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."

"No problems, were there?"

"No, sir-house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He fell asleep as we was flyin' over Bristol."

Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.

"Is that where-?" whispered Professor McGonagall.

"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."

"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"

"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knew that is a perfect amp of the London Underground. Well-give him here, Hagrid-we'd better get this over with."

Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and was about to turn toward the Dursley's house when he felt the bundle he was holding along with hearing something akin to a gasp.

The aged wizard looked down-with McGonagall and Hagrid leaning forward to get a look as well-to see wide bright green eyes staring at him with an almost comically shocked look on his face, his mouth parting. Then, quite suddenly, the child somehow un-wiggled his tiny arms from his wrap and hit them to his forehead with an almost inaudible sound. A whimper of pain bubbled up from the Harry, his chubby fists massaging he temples.

All three adults just stared down at the remarkable boy whose bottom lip was trembling.

Abruptly, the women gasped, her head snapping up to old geezer. Her eyes were burning as she glared at him. Neither the wild man nor that certain geezer would be surprised to see smoke billowing out of her ears.

"He's in _pain_, Dumbledore," She hissed. "_Do something_, don't just stand there!"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when another one of those pathetic whimpers reached their ears. Both immediately jerked their head down to see young Harry with his little hand covering his eyes, his button nose scrunched up, like he's smelt something unpleasant.

"Professor McGonagall," Dumbledore said,"perhaps it would be best to put on a minor Sleeping Charm on him…Unless, you, of course, have a potion on hand?"

McGonagall looked about ready to explode.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir, no need for yeh to get into tha'. Harry's not doin' nothin'."

Indeed he wasn't. Harry seemed to find it best to stop rubbing his head and watch the strange people who liked to talk as quietly as possible while also making hissy noises.

All three Hogwart's residents found it slightly unnerving to see a fifteen month year old staring at them with such piercing green eyes. It seemed as though he was seeing right into their souls…

Dumbledore was the first to snap out of it, looking somewhat dizzy as he said, "We best be off."

He turned to go once more, only to stop again to the light tugging on his beard. He amusingly watched as the baby looked curiously at the hair, trying to get a piece of as the beard which was difficult as it was tucked against the Dumbledore's arm.

Dumbledore chuckled and started-

"Could I-could I say good-bye to him, sir?"

Hagrid leaned in and bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss as Harry made a face and batted his tiny hand at the giant without him seeming to notice. Then, suddenly Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog. Dumbledore felt the baby jump.

"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the Muggles!"

"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it-Lily an' James dead," Harry's head snapped up from the fluffy white stuff at the sound of his parents' names.,"-an' poor Harry off ter live with Muggles-"

"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, trying to ignore the highly intelligent look on the child's face that seemed to say, "_You're seriously leaving me on a_ doorstep?"

Dumbledore took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets (With said baby raising his thin brows), and then back to the other two. For a full minute the three of them stood and stared at the bundle who stared back, eyelids flagging. Within another minute, after his lips stretched in a perfectly round O, Harry was sound asleep. Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone form Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.

"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."

"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall-Professor Dumbledore, sir."

Wiping his streaming eyes on his jacket sleeve, Hagrid swung himself onto the motorcycle and kicked the engine into life; with a roar it rose into the air and off into the night. The sound had no effect whatsoever on the dreaming baby.

"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.

Dumbledore turned and walked back down the street. On the corner he stopped and took out the silver Put-Outer.

He clicked it once, and twelve balls of light sped back to their street lamps so that Privet Drive glowed suddenly orange and he could make out the tabby cat slinking around the corner at the other end of the street. He could just see the bundle of blankets on the step of number four.

"Good luck, Harry," he murmured. He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.

A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. Harry Potter rolled over inside his blankets without waking up. One small hand closed on the letter beside him as he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous, not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley…He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter—the boy who lived!"


	2. The Vanishing Glass

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah**

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 1: The Vanishing Glass_

_There is no Earthly way of knowing,_

_of which direction we're going_

_-Willy Wonka_

_Two Years Later…_

It had been a relatively short time since the excitement of a baby boy arriving upon the door step of one of the attendants' of the most pompous, nosy people you'd ever meet. Sure, it was pretty shocking, hearing of a person placing a child out in the open on a cold August night. But it was much more surprising that _anyone_ would _choose_ for the guardians of that child to be the _Dursleys_. Well. That was what the neighbors thought of it. Not that anyone bothered to tell them that.

The wind was blowing a light breeze that still managed to give you a chill. The sky was gray and boring just like the neighborhood of Privet Drive. The community park was practically empty, besides an old man flipping through a newspaper, sniffling once or twice. He, apparently, would go to any lengths-including sitting on a cold, wet bench with nothing more than a sweater-to get away from his nagging, old bat of a wife. Sure, she was quite the looker back in the day. But she just really wasn't worth depleting his already so and so hearing.

The man was reading on article about the horse races when he heard someone's light footsteps coming toward him.

Of course he didn't really hear it until the person was about seven feet away. He glanced over the top and had to look down just to see who was ruining his blissful freedom. When he saw who it was he had to stop himself from gapping. Instead he merely lifted his eyebrows and awkwardly looked back down to read the paper. Instead his mind was whirling around, trying to figure out why the least person he ever thought would turn up, did.

The little raven-headed boy didn't seem to sense the man's incredulously and plunked on the other side of the bench.

It was common knowledge that the only time that the ward of the Dursleys' came out was for the annual doctor appointments. And some didn't even believe that they took the young man there. The neighbors had only seen the child up close once, just days after he arrived, and never came close to doing the same again.

It wasn't as if they didn't like the boy, no, quite the contrary. Even if he was only a baby, he was charmingly innocent, curious, and just an all around happy little fellow. Not that the old horse face, and walrus would even notice. They were much too busy hating the boy.

The old man and wife had gone with the other neighbors to meet the new member of the family.

The man nearly shorted out the last word. _Family_. Oh, yes indeed, such a _wonderful _'family'.

None were very close with the Dursleys-understandably-but it such a mystery and a great change for his wife to get some good gossip so they went to greet the new boy, trying to seem supportive of the discussion of having another child under their care. The truth was, all were rather horrified that someone had such a discordant mind to leave anything defenseless with them. It was one thing for them to procreate and have their own, but someone else's? Not the best idea. Not that the little snot, Dudley, was the best or any good idea, but still…

They went in, seeing the greatly annoyed and reluctant look on Mrs. Dursley's face. The little one-year old was sitting up, gazing up at them all curiously. He had had a strange scar on his forehead and bright green eyes that seemed far too intelligent for someone his age.

In short, they all adored the child within five minutes of seeing him.

The boy could understand them to a point and spoke few words-perfectly-choosing instead to listen to the nice old people.

As all the neighbors were doting on the 'cutest little piece of pie,' as his wife like to call the boy, Mr. Dursley face was turning an alarmingly purple color while the giraffe looked as though she swallowed a lemon and tried to redirect their attentions to _their _'little' boy.

Then the fat walrus exploded, telling them that that child was a menace and how _none_ were to see him again. He practically dragged the stunned and scandalized neighbors out the door and promptly slammed the door in their faces. The _nerve_ of the man! As if an innocent child could _ever _be called a menace.

And here was the child, now three, sitting next to him as though this wasn't the first time he'd been out of the house in ages.

The man was insanely curious and he really couldn't hold it in any longer. It couldn't hurt to speak to him, could it?

"Hello," He said kindly to the young boy, "What's your name, son? I'm Gunther."

The boy seemed puzzled for some reason that was lost on old Gunther.

"Hi. I'm Harry. Nice to meet you, sir."

Polite, short and respectful. Good.

"Well, Harry, I haven't seen you around much." Or at all.

The boy raised an eyebrow and his lips twitched at the side, giving a small smile.

"No, I suppose you haven't."

While that was a perfectly normal response to make, it was the fact that a three-year old said it-with amusement-that unnerved the old man. Yes, the boy was intelligent. Someone had to thank the heavens for no brain damage being inflicted on the boy from spending so much time with the Dursleys.

"No," He agreed.

He just said that so he could think of something to say. How could he ask him why in the world he was out of the house? Or where his Aunt was? Or why they let him out in the first place?

The boy seemed to pick up his train of thought.

"Oh, my Aunt said she thought I was old enough to be left out by myself, as long as I don't go too far."

Yes. Perfectly normal. Except for the fact that he was only _three-years old_. And the park was two roads over from number 4.

"Ah. That must be nice, hmm? Getting out of the house. I know how good it can be. In fact," Gunther glanced over his shoulder and leaned in and mocked whispered, "I'm hiding from my wife. Barmy old woman. Don't tell." He brought a finger to his mouth and winked at the lad.

The lad on the other hand was trying not to look like he was suspicious with the old guy. Why was this man, Gunther, even talking to him? Nobody talked to him except to upbraid and order him around. Was he going to tell Aunt Petunia that he was out? Was he trying to get him into trouble? And why in blazes was the guy telling him about his wife? If she was so crazy, why wasn't she in the hospital?

"Yes. It's nice. And I'm sorry about your wife." He figured that was a good response.

Gunther on the other hand seemed to find it funny as he broke out into gruff chuckles.

"Yeah, I'm horribly sorry, too."

Harry wondered if it was the man who was mad.

"Huh," was all he said. What else was he suppose to say to that? "Well, Aunt Petunia is probably wondering where I got off to, so…"

"It was nice meeting you, sonny."

The man held out his hand which Harry took, smiling politely, and turned away thinking, "_I've got to stay away from that guy."_

He could feel the eyes on his back as he walked back to number 4.

When Harry got back, he wished he hadn't.

He came through the door, making his way to his cupboard when his Aunt came shrieking in. She went right up into his face, yelling about how he missed breakfast and how if he wasn't around then he'd learn how to make it. She then reached and pinched his ear, ignoring his squawked protest, and dragged him into the kitchen pushing him toward the stove telling him to get started on the bacon.

It was that day that started Harry's days as the Dursley's house keeper. It was the day that he also learned what control of a person _really_ was. Or what the Dursley's promoted, that is.

Uncle Vernon had grabbed Harry by his arm in an iron grip and literally thrown him into his cupboard. The beefy man then slapped Harry in the face, causing he head to whip to the side, pain exploding behind his eyes, his cheek and eyes stinging. Uncle Vernon then got into his face, his horrid breath blowing across his face. Harry was frozen in terror and confusion.

"Boy, you stepped too far. Don't you _dare_ leave this house unless I or your Aunt gives you permission, you hear? Because next time, you_ freak_, I will _beat the stuffing out of you_ if you dare disobey again." And he left, slamming the door to the closet, leaving Harry in blackness.

Harry didn't notice the tears running down his face. He didn't make a sound. Just sat there, his hand gingerly resting on his burning cheek.

Somehow, he managed to untangle his thoughts from his buzzing head. Five things were perfectly clear.

_One_. If he didn't want to be dead then he wasn't to sneak out of the house again.

_Two._ That's_ exactly_ what Uncle Vernon wanted. Him dead or serving to his every whim.

_Three_. To make him listen to his elders, Uncle Vernon hurt him to scare him. And when someone was scared they'd do what you told them to do. Pain causes fear which gave you control.

_Four_. He wasn't going to be controlled. By_ anyone_. Ever.

_Five_. He wouldn't forget. _Nothin_g would ever be forgotten.

Ever.

_Four Years Later…_

A black-haired seven year-old _really_ wanted to know _what in the world_ was _happening._

He tried to think of something that would rationally explain his predicament and came up with nothing. It. Made. No. _Sense. _

Oh, it was easy to comprehend. If you had a sick sense of humor.

What would make sense is that God or whoever thought that having him scared out of his wits and utterly confused was extremely funny and decided that Harry Potter was his favorite play thing.

Other then that, it really didn't have any explanation. Unless he was insane. Or, somehow, an amazing jumper. Or if the laws of gravity and just the universe in general decided to change the rules.

Because, if he wasn't some toy to a higher being, or if he was insane, or a great jumper, or if gravity didn't decide to stop, then how was Harry suppose to explain how he was running away from his cousin, took a jump, and ended up on the school's roof? Ahh…yeah. None of those seemed very likely.

Harry looked around, his stomach tight with trepidation. A breeze ruffled his messy hair.

What if someone found him up here? He was going to be in so much trouble! He could think of the seemly impossible equation later. He _had_ to get down. _Right now_!

_Two Years Later…_

Harry wondered vaguely if his uncle actually _would_ kill him if he found out he wasn't at home. And was wandering through a forest.

He knew it was stupid, and incredibly dangerous (not mentioning the forest), to be walking around in the woods, at night no less, only wearing a jacket and sneakers with pajamas underneath and no flash light. But he couldn't really bring himself to care.

Besides, it wasn't like he was going to be eaten by an owl or something.

On the other hand, Uncle Vernon would surely eat him after he murdered him. Not just because he was huge and wouldn't pass up on the chance to eat food, even if it was some freak, but because he was suppose to be locked in a cupboard for his latest 'offense.' He really didn't mean to… But if he had, he really would have chosen something more creative.

Did he mean to make his teacher's hair blue…? Uh, no. He'd rather he made her permanently bald, or maybe her skin blue, instead. Then again…_Would_ her hair color ever fade back to what it was? He doubted it and not just because he was sure her real hair color was gray by now…Oh well. He did her a favor, anyway. Maybe she wouldn't be so boring and vindictive now that her hair had some personality.

After the whole roof incident and the others before that, Harry concluded that magic somehow existed. And started using it.

It all had fit perfectly into place when he got back to the Dursleys.

No, they hadn't found out about him being on the roof. But, thanks to Dudley, they gained the knowledge that he had managed to vanish. Dudley never really…um, thought? Maybe he really doesn't have a brain. Because, surely, he'd wonder how someone could disappear or wonder if he were just seeing things? That would be normal. But, _no_, Dudley went on how Harry had been there one second then gone the next. _Smart._

If he_ did_ have a brain, Harry would've wondered if it was part of some elaborate plot with the goal to make him as miserable as possible. It would be simple. All you'd have to do is find a way to get Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon angry with him. And that is even simpler. Just give a little push suggesting he did something _'abnormal_,' and _voila_! You win!

But then Harry noticed there reaction. They'd been furious. And scared. And didn't even _question_ their son's account, even if they apparently didn't hold for 'such nonsense.'

They were _scared._ That's what stuck with him. What would be the reason to be fearful…? Only if they knew the truth. Only if they were hiding it.

It seemed about right. No asking questions… Nothing even _anything_ being_ slightly_ out of the norm… Hating him…

Harry wondered if his parents were like him. That would explain why they were so reluctant to talk about them and why they seemed to hate them as much as they hated him.

So, from the day after that day he started experimenting with his 'newfound power'. Well, ha ha, it wasn't as easy as you'd think. It took him forever to be able to do anything cool, like seeing auras or walking through walls.

The 'seeing auras' thing was extremely limited since Harry only really started half a year ago and he was only able to do it because of an accident. And walking through walls? Well… Let's just say that Harry got stuck between a sofa and a pipe and leave it at that.

So Harry had slipped the doors of his cupboard and front door and here he is. Strolling through the woods at midnight with nothing around him but trees and the faint rustling of--

He did say nothing would eat him, right? Well, it definitely wasn't an owl…

Harry's heart hammered so hard in his chest that it hurt, his eyes going as wide as saucers.

Two feet away, a dark shape that first looked like a root or a vine was _moving!_

Harry stumbled back as the thing started to rise and he knew that it was looking directly at him because he saw silted bright white glowing eyes. He would've turned around and bolted if not for that fact he heard a little voice, hissing.

_§What an idiotic human, wandering around after dark,§_ quiet laughs drifted their way to Harry. _§He's so scared that he won't even run! How stupid, I could eat him.§ _

_§Please don't eat me!§_ Harry blurted before his before his brain could comprehend what his mouth just did.

The creature stopped. When it spoke, it's voice was laced with astonishment.

_§You Speak, human child?§_

Harry was confused. His mouth answered for him again.

_§Of course I can speak! I'm not a baby!§_

_§I did not mean if you were unable to talk, human child! I meant you can speak Snake-Tongue!§_

_§What?§_

The creature seemed to sigh.

_§You can talk to snakes! You speak our language!§_

_§Oh.§_ the panic in his head dismissed a little, so now he would think. It clicked into place. _§You're a snake!§_

_§Very perceptive, Snake-child.§_ the snake hissed sarcastically.

_§Sorry, I wasn't really thinking. I've never talked to a snake before.§_

_§I didn't think you did.§_ hissed the amused snake, _§Why are you out now, Snake-child? Should you not be asleep? §_

It took a moment for Harry to answer, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he was talking to a _snake._

_§I wanted to get out of the house. I was locked up because my Aunt and Uncle found out I did magic.§ _

Harry figured that if a snake could talk then it was safe to assume that it knew about magic. And he was right.

_§Stupid humans! It wasn't your fault, I'm sure! Accidental Magic can come out in the worst of times. Don't worry child. Just because your special-a descendent of Salazar Slytherin, no less!-and they're filthy muggles doesn't make magic a bad thing.§_

Harry's face was working, trying to find out whether to smile or bombard the snake with questions.

_§Thanks. But, what do you mean I'm a descendent of Sala-something? And what's a muggle?§_

The snake paused for a moment. _§Snake-child, you do know you're a wizard, correct?§_

_§Yes. But I didn't know I was called a wizard. I just knew I could do magic after some…What'd you call it? Accidental Magic?§_

_§Ah. Tell me Snake-child, what happened to your parents?§_

_§They died in a car crash when I was a baby.§_

Harry imagined that the snake was frowning right now because that's what it sounded like.

_§Car crash? Those things that muggles travel around in? I doubt it. But I'm sure your parents were wizards, also. You can only speak Snake-tongue if you are descended from the Slytherin family. And a muggle is a non-magical person. Oh, how rude of me! What is your name child? I am Selynda.§_

Harry smiled._ §That's a pretty name. I'm Harry. What kinda of snake are you?§_

_§I'm half Basilisk and Wonambi. Harry you say?§ _The Selynda asked curiously_, §Harry what? I thought humans gave their offspring another name to show they are one of the family.§_

_§Oh, sorry. I'm Harry Potter._

A whole minute of silence. Harry opened his mouth to speak when Selynda gave a hiss of surprise.

_§WHAT?§_

Harry stumbled back. He wouldn't admit it but he was really scared. Maybe Selynda would eat him even if he could speak the Snake-language.

_§I'm sorry! I didn't know it was a bad thing.§_

_§Bad thing?§ _Harry heard the snake suck in a breath. In a calmer voice it spoke._ §No, Snake-child, it is not necessarily, you just surprised me. Harry Potter is the last person I'd expect to be able to Speak.§_

_§Why, do you know me?§_

Selynda was silent again and when she spoke her voice sounded somewhat horrified.

_§You do not know. You do not even know who you are. Holy Shesha!§_

_§Huh? I know who I am!§_

_§No, no! I meant, you do not know your story!§_

Now Harry was beyond confused.

_§What story? And if I don't know it, then why do_ you_?§_

Selynda's white eyes stared at the boy for a moment. _He really does not know? Oh Shesha!_

Selynda had felt the need by the Great Maker to come to travel to this location. She could now see why. This boy. She was supposed to stay with this boy and help him however she could. Oh my. This was going to take a lot of explaining to do… But first things first.

_§Snake-child? Harry? May I call you…Sophos?§_

Two Years Later…

Ten years had passed since the faithful day that Harry Potter, christened Sophos, was dropped off on the doorstep of the Dursleys. Nothing much has changed, and the only way to tell that it had aged a decade would be to look at the various pictures of a fat blond boy with his horse of a mother and walrus of a father.

Nothing in the house suggested that another boy lived there. But Harry was still there, sleeping at the moment, though that was about to be disturbed.

"Up! Get up! Now!"

Harry woke with a jolt as his aunt banged on the door. He heard Selynda give a hiss of annoyance.

They heard Aunt Petunia stomp into the kitchen and put the frying pan on the stove.

_§I still don't see why you just won't let me kill her. The old giraffe wouldn't know what hit her.§_

Harry just rolled his eyes. Not that Selynda could see that. But he knew that she didn't really mean it. Sure, both would love to get away from the Dursleys, but they both knew that they'd only be stuck here only a little longer.

Selynda long ago explained the Wizarding World to Harry. All about the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts and, of course, the last Speaker, Lord Voldemort. Naturally he'd been horrified that a psychopath had been after him, but he got over it. Well…Not _completely_.

Selynda told Harry how all magical snakes could still sense him out there, too weak to really go into world domination, but he was still out there binding his time. They couldn't actually find him or know if he was with him unless he reveled himself to him. Apparently, long ago he did a ritual that let the world's snakes know that he-Tom Marvolo Riddle, a.k.a Lord Voldemort-was a Speaker. She said that he could be disguised and they wouldn't know it was him. But if he said so they'd immediately know it was the last to do the ritual. So, nobody (no snakes) knew Harry could speak the language. Riddle did it so that he could show his dominance over serpents and because he thought it would make him something akin to royalty. Snakes _really_ didn't like it when a human performed the ritual.

Harry thought this was a complicated way to say that Voldemort is an absolute idiot. Why wouldn't he ask a snake if it would be a good idea to revel himself? Oh well. Harry wasn't complaining. If Lord Moldypants wanted to piss off a bunch of venomous creatures that could squeeze you to death, so be it.

Plus, Selynda didn't really understand the aspects of the act, what it entailed or how to really put it into words. Neither really knew what it meant. But she had been alive when it happened so she could give him a description of the feeling of hearing some nasty voice screeching in your ear drums about being the '_Most powerful sorcerer in the world!_' and '_Heir to the great Salazar Slytherin!'_, blah blah blah.

But soon, _soon_, Harry would turn eleven and he'd be off to Hogwarts. _Then _they can wreck hell on the Dursleys.

Both of the heard her come back in the hallway.

"Are you up, yet?" she demanded.

Harry would have dearly loved to say, "_Noo! Your voice is just_ sooo_ soothing it puts me right back to sleep!" _

"Nearly," Is what he said.

"Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."

Harry barely stopped himself from groaning out loud. Dudley's birthday- how could he have forgotten? Damn! (Harry picked up that habit from Selynda-she had quite the vocabulary)

Harry slowly stood up and began getting dressed, pulling off the spider on his socks.

_§You know, we could probably scare the living daylights out of these fifthly muggles just by returning me to my normal size and by showing them some of your magic. We could get them to stop treating you like a house-elf and to get you out of this closet.§_

Harry rolled his eyes again. _§I know. We talked about this. I don't want to show my hand too early in the game and then have everything go down the drain. Once I go to Hogwarts we can start by trying to get out of their custody-and if all goes well, I'll be emancipated and we'll never see this place again.§_

Selynda sighed. _§I know Sophos. But I'm just getting impatient. I hate seeing the way they treat you.§_

Before Harry could answer Aunt Petunia yelled at him to get in the kitchen and get started. He did.

The table was pretty much hidden beneath all of Dudley's presents. It looked as though he had gotten that second television set and the racing bike he wanted.

Why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a continued mystery to Harry as Dudley was extremely fat and hated walking let alone getting exercise. Well, unless it involved hitting somebody. And Dudley's favorite somebody to hit also happened to be Harry.

Thankfully, Harry was a fast runner so it was rare that Dudley ever got the chance to do anything.

Perhaps it was due to sleeping in a dark cupboard his whole life but Harry had always been rather short and skinny for his age. He decided to balm it on the stunted growth instead of genetics because if he didn't then he'd have to give into the fact that he was going to be a short for the rest of his life.

But, because of Selynda, he was getting the exercise and training he needed that helped him grow.

Selynda didn't know that much about fitness training, but she knew enough to know what needed to be done to help strengthen his magical core-not that it needed much strengthening, she had said.

What she did know was a bunch of Snake-Magic, as she called it, where he'd use spells in Snaketongue for training wheels before he could do them without it and just shape the magic on his own. All of the spells were in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew but that didn't cause much probably as she had started teaching Harry those languages since she came with him. Even if it was in the snakes' language it would translate to English. And dear ol' Sophos was a fast little learner.

So while he was short and looked really runty under Dudley's hand-me-downs, he was solid as a rock. He wouldn't be that hard without the magic to reinforce. It also helped with his nutrition.

The Dursleys never exactly starved Harry, but he was never allowed to have enough; Dudley normally seed to that, taking as much food as he could, even if it made him sick. Harry thought that if he didn't stop soon, than objects would just start gravitating toward him.

Now that his body was strong enough to be in tune with his magic he was able to eat less and less because he didn't get more hungry then one meal a day. Selynda didn't like how little he ate, even if he didn't need it, so she threatened holding off his lessons if he didn't eat somewhat properly and be thankful that she was making him do it.

What Harry was really thankful about is that he looked nothing like the Dursleys.

Vernon was fat and squat with a huge purple face and ferret under his nose, Petunia blonde with a horse face and a permanent foul look etched on her bony face, and, lastly, Dudley, a true pig with blond hair smoothed over his fat head with tripled chins under his weak jaw.

Harry, on the other hand, was often called handsome. He had sharp features that smooth out nicely and he knew were from both his mother and father as he'd seen a photo of them buried in the attic. His messy jet-black hair seemed to artistically frame his face. His bright green eyes shone out with some hidden agenda with an unknown gleam that suggested that he knew more than anyone could guess. But the only thing that he really liked about his appearance was the thin scar in the center of his forehead-slightly to the left-that looked like a lightening bolt which was covered by his bangs. Selynda had told him he got it from Voldemort, but he couldn't bring himself to not like it. It wasn't its fault that it was made by a raving maniac.

Speaking of Selynda…She had…Um. Changed?

Instead of being the huge serpent five times bigger than Harry-even though she was only fifty years old which she had said made her little more than a thirteen years old to her snake species- was she was now a few inches longer then the length of his arm, thanks to a shrinking charm. And instead of being shiny gray she was…rather colorful.

Down her back her colors went from red to indigo. Her stomach was a pale sliver. And all of her body shimmered violet when she moved. Her eyes were now sliver with flecks of violet with that color crest on her head that looked just like a three pointed crown. Selynda said it was because of being bound to Harry that changed her colors.

When she had told Harry she was a Wonambi and told him that meant she was a 'rainbow snake' and that she had been 'apparently' extinct for who knew how long, he didn't think she meant that she would really be rainbow. Not that Selynda knew she'd be multi-colorful, either.

Uncle Vernon walked in as Harry turned over the bacon.

"Comb your hair!" He barked as a way of morning greeting.

Harry had to hold himself back from rolling his eyes. The man still couldn't get over the time that Harry grew back his hair-on purpose-after Aunt Petunia had sheared it off. Stupid people. Like an atrocious hair cut like that was normal.

After Harry put the food on the table, Dudley through a fit for having two less presents then last year (thirty-seven. *Snort*). What a brat. Harry didn't particularly care about getting anything but it always rankled him that Dudley took everything for granted.

Aunt Petunia- scenting the danger like Harry who started wolfing down his bacon- cleared the dilemma by promising the pig two more gifts when they went out later in the day. _Such_ a smart idea, why hadn't he thought of it? Naturally, Dudley couldn't even add two more numbers to an elementary problem. It was a wonder that he wasn't held back, even if Harry had been doing his homework.

Aunt Petunia got up to get the telephone when it rang while Vernon and Harry watched as Dudley unwrapped his presents of useless, expensive things that would only fry his-Wait! He doesn't have a brain, does he? Then the presents are appropriate, aren't they?

Dudley was unwrapping a golden-wristwatch that for his life, Harry couldn't figure out why he needed it when Aunt Petunia stomped back in, glaring at Harry like whatever problem was his fault, and informed them that Mrs. Figg had broken her leg tripping over one of her cats.

Harry had to suppress a smirk just thinking about it. Yes, it was sad and all that she was hurt but it was just the fact that the cause was one of her precious felines that was rather amusing.

"Now what?" Aunt Petunia said, scowling in Harry's direction.

They went into a discussion of what to do acting as though Harry wasn't there, with Dudley fake-crying. He didn't care. Either they'd end up taking him to the zoo or leave him here.

Harry walked several feet behind Dudley and Piers with Selynda wrapped around his waist, licking on his lemon pop, thinking that the gorilla looked remarkably like Dudley, except it wasn't blonde. He instantly felt bad. The poor prime mate wasn't anywhere near as ugly as _him_.

It was a relatively peaceful day. He should have known it was too good to last.

After lunch they went to the reptile house. It was dimly lit, with a slight draft coming from the vents. The tanks that lined the walls, filtered with light held lizards, turtles and snakes that their hissing complaints and insults barely made it to Harry's and Selynda's ears.

It didn't take long for Dudley to find the biggest critter in the place, a Brazilian Boa Constructer. The idiot was rapping on the glass along with Vernon who took Dudley's orders without batting an eye. But the thing was asleep. Or that's what it looked like. Harry had been around Selynda long enough to know a faker with barely a glance.

When Dudley shuffled away after whining how boring this place was Harry moved closer to the glass, glancing around, opening his mouth but Selynda beat him to it, poking her head out of his neck line to get a good look..

_§Hello, Snake-Brother. Pretty dull in there, is it not? This is my Snake-Child, Sophos.§_

The stranger snake rose slowly, and leveled his gaze with Harry, glancing down to Selynda.

_§Hi. Selynda is-§_

_§Very pleased to meet you. Sorry about those fat lards-§_

_§You must get that a lot. Those muggles are idiots! As if they think that they can hold-§_

_§One of our brothers!§_

The snake seemed amused and nodded his he vigorously.

Selynda appeared thoughtful. Harry knew just what she was thinking and decided to beat her to it.

_§I could get you out of there. If you want, of course. But we have to wait for the perfect moment. Alright?§_

Harry heard Selynda hiss in satisfaction. _§Oh, Lovely Sophos,§_ She whisper so none would hear her,_ §You have such a pure heart.§_ She snickered. _§I don't mean what that old codger would. I mean you-§_

Whatever it was that Harry was he didn't find out because at that moment Dudley's little crony decided to interrupt. His blueberry of a cousin came waddling over to the tank as fast as his stubby legs could carry him.

"Move it, you!" Dudley snarled.

Harry saw Dudley move to shove him and didn't stop him, fully ready to take advantage of the situation.

Dudley's fists caught him in the ribcage, thankfully not Selynda, knocking the breath out of him. But he didn't focus on that. Harry was perfectly accustomed to pain and wasn't about to give into it. So, instead, he concentrated on what he had to do.

Later, Dudley and Piers would proclaim that the snake bashed so hard against the glass that it shattered everywhere, into such tiny pieces that they weren't visible anymore. They'd say that they were so impressive and threatening to the beast that it just had to try and kill them before they got a chance to kill it.

They real story is that the second that a messy-haired boy hit the concert the glass vanished, two children one fat and one ratty, leaping back with howls of horror, streaking fear and panic throughout the crowded park.

A huge creature slid past the little boy-who unfortunately was in danger of being trampled-hissing, _Brazil here I come._ _Thankss amigo..._

The two other boys would also swear on all the sweets in the world that the snake tried to bit their legs off or squeezed them to death, with both of them fighting their way through bravely, getting the best of the foul monster that dared disrupt such a day as Ickle Diddykins birthday. The_ horror_!

And the messy-haired boy?

Well. He just rolled his eyes.

Hehe! Tell me what you think!

-Vayah 3


	3. Letters from a Cat

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah**

* * *

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 2: Letters from a Cat_

_

* * *

_

_When patterns are broken,_

_new worlds emerge._

_~Tuli Kupferberg_

* * *

Sophos was acting…strange.

Or, more specifically,_ stranger_. It was true that Sophos had never… _really _been 'all there.'

He was getting all twitchy, wouldn't sit still, and was completely ignoring her which vexed her to no end. Really! It wasn't as if someone was about to jump him! Oh, and if they try…they'll have to answer to her! Not that her Snake-child needed any help. He was a force to be reckoned with. Selynda almost pitied the fool who'd try. Almost.

Right now he was staring off to space. Watching a spider spin a thread. Gazing at nothing.

Twitch. Fidget. Jerk. Twitch. Jerk. Twitch.

It was _infuriating_!

SOPHOS_! What. Is. Wrong. With. _YOU_!§_

The boy was _not_ expecting that.

He jumped and almost fell off the coot. He righted himself at glared at his smug familiar.

_§What do you mean?§_ He asked rather coolly in her opinion.

Selynda gave an annoyed hiss. Sure, he probably didn't really realize he was irritating her to death but he still didn't need the attitude.

_§You know what I'm talking about! You will not stop moving and you haven't been paying attention to anything I've said!§_

He gave a wry smile. _§Do I ever?§_

Selynda huffed indignantly. Sophos was being a brat and didn't appear to be on Earth at the moment. His eyes were glazed over and would move rapidly, as though searching for something. Had he suddenly became a Seer and saw her gruesome death? Not likely.

Sophos rolled his eyes as if he could read her thoughts._ §Sorry. I-It…Just…Don't you feel like something big is going to happen today? Something is going to…change.§_

If Selynda could frown she would. Sophos had great instincts. She never saw him do anything stupid or make panic out of an issue merely frivolous. Unless he was in his la-la land. Which is where he appeared to be at the moment.

_§Well…§_ She said cautiously. This was dangerous territory. _§Just because of a…um, feeling does not mean that you must-what do they call it?-freak out? Go 'round the twist?§_

Sophos shot her a perplexed look. _§Are you saying you think I'm crazy?§_

_§No. I'm just saying that there comes a time in everyone's life that they believe that the man upstairs will send you a flying clock at you head, trying to decapitate you.§_

Sophos just stared at her. She didn't get it.

_§First of all,§_ He said slowly and carefully, _§you can't decapitate someone if your throwing something at their head. 'Specially not a clock. Second of all… 'The man upstairs?' Who are you talking about? Uncle Vernon? God? The Monkey Man by the gas station? Or are you talking about my conscious? That makes _no _sense _at all_. Third of all, why a clock? And lastly, what the _bloody hell_ are you going on about?§_

Selynda sniffed. _§I thought it was obvious.§_

Sophos stared at her in disbelief.

_§Riiight. Whatever you say.§_

Today was the day. A day for what, you might ask? Well…Harry had no clue but he knew _something _was going to happen. Something big.

Selynda didn't seem to realize that he wasn't all that jumpy today. He was only doing that to annoy her, really. It was _really_ amusing. Pretend you don't hear her, twitch a few times and she's ready to blow her top. Ah, the comic relief of having an impatient serpent as a surrogate older sister.

But that didn't mean that he didn't feel something coming. It was. He just didn't know _what_. He just knew it would completely transform his life. Harry didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

All in all, he was rather happy that school was over as it was now July. Now he could, at least, avoid the Dursleys and Dudley's gang.

The best part was now he was able to go to the library without Aunt Jackass and Uncle Fat-Lard finding out. It was a safe haven and a sanctuary for Harry; Dudley stayed away like it was the plague and as much information as he wanted. About the muggle world, at any rate.

It was actually really funny. The Dursleys were paying extra for Dudley to be going to a private school (_Smelting_-who would name a school _that_? Then again, what the hell were the Founders thinking naming a school _Hogwarts?_ Probably to amuse the children.) while Harry still wasn't sure if he could even read. All he did was look off of the nearest person's paper to get the answers. Really, who knew? Not Dudley.

The ironic thing was that they thought that if was humorous that Harry was going to Stonewall, a local public school.

"_They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at stonewall," Dudley had told Harry, a nasty smile on his face. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"_

"_No thanks. That poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it-it might be sick." He had said it so solemnly and stoic, calmly walking away, that he left Dudley without the faintest clue what he actually said. _

More ironic still, Aunt Petunia seemed oblivious to the fact that it would be soon the time of-

That was _it_! Holy Shesha! It was _today_!

Harry's heart leap and he felt his lips curl while grimly thinking, _get ready old man-I'm about to turn your little world upside down._

When Harry got into the room he was greeted by an awful smell.

It was coming from a metal tub in the sink. Harry walked over, frowning, as he peered into its contents. It seemed to be filled with what looked like dirty rags swimming in gray water. Okay. Either Aunt Petunia found a new recipe or she had finally cracked.

"What's this?" He asked as the horse herself came into the kitchen. Her lips tightened as they always did when he dared ask a question. He did _what _now? Gasp! How _could_ he!

"Your new school uniform."

For one wild moment, Harry thought that she was talking about Hogwarts because Selynda said that gray was the color of the robes that were required. Then he remembered the Stonewall dress code.

"Oh," He said voice devoid of any emotion, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."

"Don't be stupid," She snapped. He inwardly smirked as he gave his best 'I'm sorry!' look. She was a gullible idiot.

She continued. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you." Harry bet that he was too fat for it like a crab molting its shell. "It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."

Harry almost snorted. He really doubted that. It'd probably look like old elephant skin, not that he'd be wearing it. Aunt Petunia and her family were trying so hard to be normal that they've crossed over to plain _loco._

The two fatsos came awhile later, their nose scrunched up due to the smell. _Aww_. Poor, disgusting creatures! They must be in _such_ discomfort. Tsk-tsk, Petunia! How _dare_ you do that to your Dudders? You horrible mother!

Harry didn't think that there was a truer statement then that one.

After Vermin-_oops_- brought out his newspaper and Dudley banged his Smelting stick on the table a few times (He carried that thing everywhere-and he meant _everywhere_) the mail slot clicked ensued with the flop of letters on the doormat.

Harry froze. His heart was thumping so hard, it was painful.

"Get the mail, Dudley."

Harry almost flew out of his seat to bet his cousin there when he was saved by, "Make Harry get it."

"Get the mail, Harry."

Harry silently sent up a 'Thank you!' to the Great Maker or whomever Selynda always talks about.

Harry got slowly up, trying to keep his body from jerking out of nerves.

He carefully closed the kitchen door, knowing that even though he was restraining himself he was still moving faster then normal. Walked to the door. Bent. Grabbed the letters. Slowly flipped through the stack, until-

Yes! It was there!

Harry practically skipped to his cupboard, about to shove it in when he frowned. What th-? Why did it say, '_cupboard under the stairs?_' Wouldn't they notice? Surely they'd wonder what a ten year old was doing sleeping under the stairs? Especially, the Boy-Who-Needs-Many-Hyphens?

Harry narrowed his eyes, thinking. Maybe they don't check the location when they send them out. Why would they? They already knew that he was living with his relatives. Or at least Dumbledo-

Dumbledore. He knew. He knew that he was living in a closet. He knew that the Dursleys were the complete stereotype that pure-blood wizards made them out to be. _He knew._ He knew how miserable he must be here. He knew that the Dursleys would be so awful he'd be jumping to-

Holy. _Shesha_. That was _it_. Dumbledore was trying to make Harry so isolated so broken that he'd coming running to him, heart on his sleeve, so in awe of someone so understanding so willing to be a part of his life that he'd do whatever he said. Be his perfect little 'Golden Boy.' No. That wasn't going to happen. Ever.

Now he had an important decision to make.

He could hide this in his cupboard, read it without anyone seeing him. Send a letter. Have wizards show up so it forces the Dursleys to let him go or threaten them into releasing him after telling them he'd be getting papers for them to sign that'd have it so neither parties would ever have to see each other _ever_ again.

Or he could act dumb. Walk into the kitchen stare at the thing like it was the ankles of life and open it slowly enough for Dudley to cause a scene. The adults would freak out. They'd give him a room out of fear of punishment. Someone would eventually be sent after much paranoia. He'd seem innocent. Completely and utterly ready to be under Dumbles' thumb.

"Hurry up, boy! What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?"

Harry rolled his eyes automatically as Uncle Vernon chuckled at his own joke. That wasn't funny.

Or… He could do both.

He carefully slid the heavy letter under his cupboard smirking slightly at Selynda's hiss of surprise.

Harry walked into the kitchen and handed his uncle his mail, and then sat down and ate his breakfast his brilliant brain whizzing through all he knew about Aunt Petunia and her weaknesses. He would win this. He had to.

Dudley had left with Piers to go beat someone up, getting a ride from the kid's blissfully ignorant mother. Uncle Vernon was at work. Perfect.

Harry considered letting Dudley find out about the letter before his parents but figured that they'd kill him for corrupting their little Duddy. Sigh. How irksome. Harry actually felt bad that he had to live with those awful names for the rest of his life. Sometimes the universe wasn't any clearer than sewage. And that frustrated Harry to a point of insanity. He didn't like it when he was confused. Or _caring_. Heaven forbid.

Harry studied the school crest. It had the house represents in the center looking as though they were placed on a sort of shield or medieval flag. The lion and serpent were facing one another with the badger and eagle below them, facing opposite directions, both looking at the other. They all had diverse backgrounds of texture, pattern, and color. Harry wondered if that was important. In the center was a H.

Underneath it was a ribbon like sign with shooting stars in the beginning that said **DRACO DORMIENS NUNQUAM TITILLANDUS**. Harry was sure that meant 'Never tickle a sleeping dragon' or something along those lines.

Above all of it was **HOGWARTS **on a scroll like banner.

Harry loved it.

But a detail caught his eye. The serpent for Slytherin had an arrow like tail pointing downward, almost at Ravenclaw. Like Selynda's tail. He made it his goal to find out why.

And Harry would. He always did.

But now was not the time. It wasn't as though he'd get an answer right now anyway.

"Aunt Petunia?"

The women jumped and whirled around to face her insufferable nephew staring at her with wide, innocent eyes. Lilly's eyes.

She didn't believe it for a second.

It didn't help that his lips were curling into a vindictive smirk. That never really convinces people of their serenity, odd as that seems.

It wasn't as though she had any reason to assume the brat was up to something. He had that look on his face at least five times a week.

But, then again, she was quite sure he was insane.

Not because she loathed anything to do with ma- with that _thing_. But because she honestly thought that there was just some part of that boy that was…_wrong_.

He was… strange.

Not like Lilly was. The only thing that was abnormal about Lilly was her intuition, lively demeanor (even more so then just any child) and curiosity which caused her to delve into her magical abilities.

Not like him.

The boy-horribly named Harry- had an air about him…Petunia didn't know what to call it. In fact she tried to block these feelings as much as possible because she was sure that he was doing it on purpose and that just cause her to absolutely hate the menace.

No, it was true; she didn't _not_ like him…in the beginning. He was… a well behaved child, if she had to say so. She really didn't have a feeling either way expect for… lose. Sadness. For her parents. For her relationship with her sister which really was her fault. And anger. Anger that she was left with him even when her and her sister's correspondence was practically nonexistent.

All of that combined made for extremely reluctant to even touch the child, let alone take care of him. That's what made her keep her mouth shut with her husband's decisions on where the boy was to be kept and treated. On the whole she was rather horrified by it. In a distant way.

Not anymore. She could care less.

He was… a _freak_! That was the only way that she could properly put it into words. Even when she called Lilly that she didn't mean it was same way she did with this child. He was truly the embodiment of everything in the world that was outlandish, aberrant and…_dark_. That was it! That was the word she was looking for.

He was dark. Secretive. And she could swear that sometimes the way he looks at her and her family it was as though he was imagining their painful deaths. She may not have proof, but Petunia knew, just knew, that he was always up to something. Something that was _bad_.

Petunia involuntarily shivered staring into her nephews cold green eyes. This seemed only to amuse him.

After a moment she snapped, "What? I haven't got all day."

"No you haven't. I have an important, um, _issue_ to discus with you. If you'd be so kind for me to have a few minutes of your time."

Petunia always thought that this was a prime example. One day he'd seem like he had no brain cells at all, then… No eleven year olds talk like that, but him…

"And what, pray tell, is so important. If it is, you can talk to your uncle."

"Oh- no. I think that it'd be much more _prudent_ if the choice was in your hands. You see, it wouldn't look very good for the family to be caught disposing of a body, now _would_ it?"

By God! He _murdered_ someone!

Petunia started to panic backing away, her palms sweating her heart thudding in her rib cage.

Harry looked at her confused. Then it dawned on him. He rolled his eyes.

"You're _so_ dramatic." He really couldn't help but add that in, "I was talking about _my_ body. I'm pretty sure that Uncle Vernon would jump at the change to murder me and make it look like an accident."

Petunia glared at the brat. How dare he insinuate such a thing! She opened her mouth to give a retort, her cheeks and neck breaking out into blotches of hives-

"No don't. We don't have time for this. Not my fault you're so blind about those two pigs that you might as well have gouged your eyes out. I want to make this easy. I'm going to Hogwarts. I'll stay out of your way. I'll get custody papers so I can get _immediately_ out of yours and your husband's care-if you can call it care. I'll have a professor come and explain to me how to get to Diagon Ally. You don't even have to bring me anywhere. If you corroborate I can have everything worked out by September first or a few mouths after. Then you and Uncle Vernon won't _ever_ have to see me again. And Dudley won't even have to know about magic. _At all_. He can have a normal life. But… if you make this _difficult_…"

Petunia could not breathe. This was _not happening_. She was dreaming. There was absolutely _no way_-

"I won't say a word to Dudley. He won't see any of my school supplies. We can tell him I'm going to an orphanage or something similar. But I'm going to wait until another letter arrives. That way I have proof for the goblins. So tell your husband that some wizards are coming over within a week, okay? Because they are and you really don't want them asking questions as to why the Boy-Who-Lived is living with people who didn't even tell him about the magical world and made him sleep in a cupboard. Good day."

Harry Potter abruptly turned away, leaving his shell-shocked aunt on the verge of a heart attack.

"Well. That went well. She didn't kill me." Harry muttered to himself smiling.

This was only the beginning, and he knew it. He couldn't wait. This was actually going to be a _challenge_. And Harry Potter loved challenges.

Harry wasn't entirely sure if his aunt told Vernon about their, um, _discussion_, which just cause him to be completely annoyed and angry. He wasn't mad at Petunia-he was angry with himself for falling asleep and missing the potential atomic bombs being dropped. Harry really didn't want to miss that though he had to admit that that was probably for the best because it gave time for the giraffe to persuade the idiot that if they'd let Harry go with this then they'd never have to even look at them again.

Harry just hoped that he wasn't overestimating his ability to wriggle out of Dumbledore's clutches. Which made Harry, of course, plan every scenario that could possibly go wrong and how he could counter it.

Right now he was thinking of a way to get out of a situation in which he gets dragged to the Ministry after getting spotted by an official. Then they'd- knowing that his relatives are horrid- start looking into wealthy old families who'd adopt him who'd they guarantee would report his every move. The family would end up being supporters of Voldemort, they'd try to kill him or corrupt him. And then if Voldemort gets back he has all of the information needed on Harry and would be able to murder him very nicely, none being the wiser that anything nefarious had taken place until he doesn't show up for school and the family being missing.

Wouldn't that just be _lovely_?

So Harry decided to avoid all this by going in a disguise.

Sure, it wouldn't be as efficient as any magical means, but that was the point. Nobody would be able to undo it with a _Finite Incantatem_, thus, keeping his identity safe. If it was a muggle then he'd have problems. But, alas, wizards are incompetent fools who are so up their righteous asses that they wouldn't even think something so _plebian_ could trick _them_.

Yes. This was going to be very fun.

Now he just had to think of the prefect excuse as to why he was at Diagon Ally alone…

That would warrant some funny looks, wouldn't it? First he'd have to be shone the entrance by Tom who'd probably recognize him or think he does enough to question who he was. That was troubling. Then he'd have to go to the bank. While he was perfectly sure the goblins wouldn't care, it would cause questions among the adults as to why any parent would allow their child to go in there without assistance which would most likely cause for some good doer to ask him if he was alright or who his parents are and where they were. Annoying. That was just _annoying_. Next, if he manages to shake off the imbecile he'd be stuck with the goblins for hours for all the legal dealings and a visit to his vault or vaults. Then he'd have to go around shopping, again alone, which would, once _bloody_ again, cause questions.

_God dammit_, they were all too_ nosy_!

Then, if it was really late, he'd have to worry about renting a room and putting down his name on the register. Not mentioning the fact that he was only eleven and probably wouldn't be allowed to get a room.

All through that he'd have to be careful for people spying on him whether from Old Beard's side or Gross Pant's side.

All this would be so much easier if he wasn't the Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die.

He wouldn't have to worry about bumping into people. He wouldn't have to worry about what it looks like if he goes out alone. He wouldn't have to worry about people watching his every move. He wouldn't have to worry about a mass murder after him and his faithful pets set on revenge.

And most of all he wouldn't have to worry about the big Bumblebee ruining his chance at escape and-

_Yes_! Now _that_ was going to work!

It'd make him seem innocent and useless just like he'd wanted.

But it was a challenge. And Harry loved challenges.

When Harry walked into the kitchen next day (he missed lunch-oh well, it wasn't as if he was hungry) he knew in an instant that, yes, Giraffe had passed on the message to Walrus.

He could tell because one, Uncle Vernon was home and two, he was being glared at through beady little pig eyes and shot with fearful looks. Harry had to try really hard to keep his face impassive. By the way they didn't attack him, verbally or otherwise, with Dudley oblivious to everything other then the television screen, he understood that the agreements were in place and he just had to follow through.

Harry sat down unable to prevent himself from throwing Walrus a smug look.

This was going to be fun.

When Dudley waddled off to do something that Harry bet involved hitting someone his Uncle took charge, his face turning so purple Harry was actually alarmed he'd have a stroke. Not that he really cared for Walrus but if he died Petunia would kill him and that'd sorta ruin his plans.

"Boy!" Walrus blustered, spit flying everywhere. Harry discreetly cast an Impervious Charm around him so he wouldn't have to deal with the poison. "How dare-"

"How I dare I this, how dare I that! Yeah, yeah, I got it. I don't see why you're complaining. I'm about to be out of your life for good, so, _jeez_, just go along with it."

Apparently Uncle Vernon didn't have a retort for that but it didn't stop him from mouthing furiously, his face still changing, this time to red which Harry thought was something more normal.

"Anyway," Continuing with a vague wave of his hand as if the parry off Walrus' words, "I need to be in Dudley's second bedroom or the guest room for when the letter shows and for when the professor comes. I just need to make it look like nothing is wrong so that Dumbledore doesn't dig any farther into this. Think you can do that? Yes? Good. See you later."

Harry turned and walked out the door without waiting for an answer.

All of Harry's planning was going just as it should.

He got the room (while Dudley had a major temper tantrum, which Harry and Selynda found terribly amusing). The adults were corroborating. And he got the letter next day that was addressed to the '_Smallest Bedroom_.' Ah. The sweet satisfaction of everything going your way. It does wonders. And now he just had to compose the letter and everything would be set. Or Harry hoped. There were always annoying little bumps in the road. But they were only bumps and Harry could drive right over.

_**Dear Professor McGonagall,**_

_**My guardians and I would gladly accept my enrollment into Hogwarts. We are terribly sorry that we weren't able to answer to the first letter sent due to an unlucky accident with a rock, a food processor and the fireplace. It's a very long story and my Aunt and Uncle would be happy to explain, if necessary. **_

_**Also, on the subject of my Aunt, she would be thankful if someone from the teaching staff could come and explain to me more about the Wizarding World as she believes that I will need to be better informed then what she can provide. She would also be grateful if it were possible to take me to get my school supplies. **_

_**Any time and date is welcome and we will be eager for the reply. **_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**Harry Potter**_

_**P.S. My cousin and I really don't understand why wizards use parchment and quills instead of paper so I hope that this stationary is acceptable. **_

* * *

_**Preview:**_ _Professors come and have a long talk! Most of it won't be in Harry's point of view._

* * *

_Haha, I hope you people liked that! Sorry that is was so long and the wait was so long too. I'm pretty lazy, but I promise the next chapter will be up faster._

_Find any mistakes or anything your confused about then just tell me and I'd be happy to straight everything out. _

_3-Vayah_


	4. Visitors

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah**

* * *

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 3: Visitors_

* * *

_There is nothing makes a man suspect much, _

_more than to know little, _

_and therefore men should remedy suspicion by procuring to know more,_

_and not keep their suspicions in smother._

_~Francis Bacon_

* * *

It was a dreadful day.

Not because of the weather. In fact, it was just plain bright and dandy.

The sun was shinning, the birds were singing and there seemed to be a coming smooth breeze.

Severus Snape shuddered when he had awoken in the morning to a racket as loud as the brats after a quidditch match and looked at a clock. He had been planning on skipping the annual torture but, of course, the old man was way ahead of him. He knew he should have sought one of the unused quarters but figured that he'd wake up early enough to prevent it. But _no_.

He had hastily got dress wondering how on Earth he could have slept through the blaring noise of the alarm.

It didn't concern him at the moment! _He had to get out of here!_ Quickly!

The professor had bolted to the door, turned the-

_Tap-tap-tap_

Snape had frozen. Just like anyone would have at his icy glare. Except Dumbledore. Why would he? He found everything so _amusing_. He turned to look at the window.

Outside was an irritated looking great horned owl with an official looking envelope tied to its leg.

Snape then sigh with relief. If Albus was to send him a message it would be with the phoenix, not with some random owl. Plus, he never had anything conventional looking, always signing the outside with flourish in his slender, loopy scrawl.

Snape had impatiently let the bird in and took off the letter, the owl flying out before he could blink. He then raised an eyebrow in confusion at the writing on the back. It looked like what the muggles did, the perfectly symmetrically lettering which said, _'To the Master of Potions at Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry. From Thy of LD's FC'_

_What the devil…?_

He had narrowed his eyes and cautiously opened the seal that was a plain pale yellow stamped with _'FC_.'

When the professor read the whole thing through, he nearly had a apoplexy. Then he wanted to _rip_ it apart with his teeth, throw it into the fire, and then brew up the _foulest_ _substance in existence _and unleash it on all who has long white beards. It read:

_**Dear Severus Snape a Most Highly Appreciated Staff Member of Hogwarts,**_

_**It is my upmost pleasure to have you to attend a mandatory Head of Houses' meeting at my office, noon. I hoped to send this to you as late as possible so you may not miss valuable sleep and have a chance to come up with an inconvenience of some sort. I thought it'd be the most pleasant idea, don't you? **_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**I, of the Lemon Drops' Fan Club,**_

_**Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore**_

And that's how Severus Snape ended up, once again, having tea in the Headmasters office. Lovely.

Like always Pomona Sprout, Filius Flitwick, Minerva McGonagall was also in attendance, all of them contributing mindless prattle. Severus sneered at them when they asked him some useless question of whether or not he was looking forward to teaching the beasts in the new school year.

After a few minutes Dumbledore sailed in, in all of his tinkling glory.

"Ah! I see you all have made it. Wonderful, wonderful." He beamed at them like they'd just given him news that lemon drops had been named the Best Candy of the Year Award. "Severus! I see you have gotten my letter at an appropriate time. I felt just awful when your pumpkin juice last night had been the one to get the drops of sleeping potion I was supposed to have taken. I thought it best to let you sleep through it instead of disturbing you." He intoned cheerfully.

Severus quickly got hold of he temper and simply glared at the old coot. It wouldn't do to strangle the defender of Light in a room of witnesses.

"I hope you all had a wonderful summer. Now, though, is the time to prepare for the children! Minerva, was there any problems with the new muggle-borns?"

And so it went, briefing the headmaster on the new developments, going off topic to irrelevant topics such as knitting, some new band on the wireless and, somehow, a potato peeler. Snape tried his best to tune it all out. It wasn't until a name he loathed was uttered that he snapped to attention.

"…Potter this year?"

"Yes, of course, the boy is turning eleven. I already sent of two owls. I didn't receive a reply so I checked the address to the second to make sure the Quill wasn't malfunctioning."

"And still no answer?" Dumbledore asked over Filius who opened his mouth to reply, frowning slightly.

"I just sent it out this morning." Minerva retorted with a touch of impatience. "It might be awhile."

"Interesting," Albus said vaguely, staring out the window as though he was looking for Potter.

"I wonder what House the boy will be in," Pomona thought aloud.

At this Severus snorted. "Obviously, the brat will be in with the lions. No doubt, he is his father's copy."

Minerva sniffed. "There is nothing wrong with Gryffindor. And how is it possible that he is like James when he doesn't even remember him?"

"The idiocy in those genes goes backs centuries. How could it _not_ be passed on to the boy?"

Minerva glared. "The Potter's family has done noble deeds as long as it's existence. That doesn't make it stupidity."

"Your right," Snape drawled, "It doesn't make it stupidity. It makes it a brain defect."

Minerva furiously opened her mouth for what would be a long, stern lecture when Dumbledore fortunately intervened.

"I think it is best to move on." Albus paused for a moment. Then he smiled brilliantly at all of his past students. "How about a competition? Wouldn't that be wonderful! We can bet on candy on what House Harry will make his home!"

The others just stared at him.

"Albus," Minerva began, "I don't think-"

"Not candy?" He asked looking crestfallen. "Very well then. What do you propose?"

The stern professor huffed loudly through her nose. "Now listen here! We are not supposed to gamble on what House a student will make!"

Dumbledore looked at her perplexed. "Why ever not?"

Minerva fixed him with a stern glare. "Because it is entirely unethical! It-"

"How is it unethical when not all has the same morals as another? To one who lives with a wolf does not find it at all strange to growl at the other one but to one who lives with a fish finds that very peculiar, thinking that they should be covered in water and swimming away from an animal who bares its teeth like a shark." He suddenly had a thoughtful look on his face. "But, of course, the one who lives with a fish wouldn't be able to swim away from the wolf if it's on land and the one who lives with a wolf wouldn't be capable of growling at a fish underwater. Then you have to take into account that the one who lives with a fish would not be able to live with a fish as they would drown."

No one seemed to know what to say to this. Dumbledore excitingly clapped his hands together.

"So we can still do candy?" He asked hopefully.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos was a _really_ impatient person. He just didn't want to admit it.

Right now he was reading a thick book about some '_Evolutionary History'_ or something. Obviously he was trying to take his mind off the upcoming meeting. But he didn't have to snap at her each time she asked him if he wanted to go over the plan. He'd say the he already did, and that he can't possibly follow it exactly seeing as he couldn't actually predict the professor's response seeing as he didn't even know who was coming and still then he wouldn't know how they would react. He then explained that he was trying to read and please 'shut up.' Long ago Sophos explain to her what that meant but she still found it frankly odd. If you shut you mouth you can still make noise, so what was the point of that?

Selynda tired again. _§I know that you're really nervous Sophos. Don't you want to talk about it? It'll help you on later on in your life to face your emotions. Especially when you're a teenager and your hormones are all over the place.§_

Selynda could hear her Snake-child gritting his teeth. _§Selynda. Shut. Up.§_

_§But-§_

_§No buts!§_ He sat up quickly and looked at her, closing his could with a snap. _§I'm fine! I'm trying to read! I have everything planned. I thought of almost everything that could go wrong! What more do you want? Go do something productive that doesn't involve talking to me.§_

Selynda glared. _§You can always prepare more! Have you even got ready for their arrival? Cleaning the house- telling Petunia what to say, what not to- making sure that the other two has plans to be out of the house-lying out your clothes to wear- food that you give your guests- the exact time when the least muggles are about-§_

_§HOLY SHESHA!§_ Sophos shoot up on the bed and promptly fell off and landed on his backside. Selynda couldn't hold in her snigger.

_§See? I told you! You're really anxious. Sophos? Hey!§_

Sophos had leap off the ground and bolted to the door, slamming it behind him as he left without a backward glance.

Selynda huffed and grumbled _§I help him understand his deep rooted problems and he keeps ignoring me!§_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Why was he always in these situations? Oh, how could he have forgotten? It was, of course, because his boss was deranged. Was he ever even normal? Severus doubted it.

"Gryffindor." Minerva stated confidently while trying to look disapproving at the same time. "Fifty gallons."

Pomona looked skeptical for a moment, "Gryffindor-Sixty gallons."

"Gryffindor," Severus said obviously bored. "Seventy gallons."

"Hmm…" Filius suddenly grinned wickedly. "Slytherin-One hundred gallons."

They stared at him shocked while Albus looked on in interest.

"Why do you say that, Filius?" Albus asked.

He shrugged. "I wanted to do something different. And whenever I hear the name 'Harry Potter,' I always think of Slytherin colors."

Severus scoffed wondering why in the name of Merlin his collages are such dunderheads. "I believe you just lost your money, Filius. There is no way that a_ Potter_ will ever be in _Slytherin_. I don't think that I've ever heard of anything so ridiculous. "

"Well, that would be quite a changed." Albus said cheerfully. "Though I think that I have to choose Gryffin-"

_Tap-tap-tap_

They all turned to the window, slightly surprised. A masked owl stood on the ledge looking almost bored. How odd.

"I thought that owls couldn't come during meetings unless it was an emergency?" Pomona more asked then stated.

"They can not." Albus replied waving his wand so that the latch opened letting the owl swoop in.

Albus reached out to it but it flew over his head and landed next to Minerva, sticking its leg out.

They all looked on bewildered as she took the letter (the owls flying out the window) and read out, "'To Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall.'

She opened frowning, the other teachers caught up in the little drama. Even Snape was. He was wondering how that bird could have gotten through Dumbledore's ward seeing as it wasn't a ministry owl and it seemed not to be anything vitally important.

Minerva's eyes widened drastically. Then she just stared down at the writing in confusion.

"Minerva?"

"It…It's from Harry." She said glancing at Dumbledore before looking back down, still perplexed.

"_What?"_ Was the echoed question in the room.

McGonagall cleared her throat and read out loud. No one knew what to say. They were all thinking the same thing. '_How could it have gotten passed the wards?_' Then-

"Where did Potter get hold of an owl?" Pomona asked in confusion. "I thought he lives with muggles."

They all thought about that for a moment.

"Albus," Filius said suddenly. "Are you alright?"

They looked at the headmaster. He had an odd expression on his face. Part bemused, part disturbed.

"I think," He said quietly, "that I change mine and choose Slytherin-two hundred gallons."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_§Are you planning on telling me where you ran off to?§_

Sophos had just walked in with an unreadable expression, his eyes unfocused.

_§Yeah, I… You know what you just said to me? It reminded me of something.§_

_§What's that?§_

_§That I have to go shopping with Aunt Petunia.§_

Selynda looked at Sophos. _§So you didn't figure out that you need to go to a therapist?§_

Sophos looked at Selynda. _§Selynda?§_

_§Yes?§_

_§Shut up.§_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

When the meeting was over Severus tried to slink of. He just knew what Albus was going to ask him and he didn't want-

"Severus, Minerva" The old man called. "Can you stay for a moment?"

Snape wanted to bash his head against the wall.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

After an exhausting day with his aunt, Harry fell back on his bed. What an extremely enlightening day.

He learned that he was even better at deception then he had originally thought.

Somehow Harry managed to convince his aunt to get him practically a whole new wardrobe on the account that he'd pay her back. At the same time he executed his story into making Petunia think that it wasn't actually his money, that she was going to get more then she paid and that he'd end up in someone else's debt which, naturally, delighted her into practically forcing clothes on him.

Harry had to say that he'd give himself an Oscar if it wasn't for the fact that it was himself he was talking about. And for the fact that he wasn't a judge. Detail, details.

After seeing that Selynda actually made a point in some of her absurd babblings he took some more of her advice. He used some more of that lovely deception and convinced Petunia to prepare food for the coming professors. Harry still had no clue how he was achieving it, as it seemed ridiculously easy, so he kept a sharp eye on her. Just in case. He wouldn't want her to poison his vessels of knowledge, now did he?

Even if she acted like this was some great charity she was doing, Harry knew she was enjoying herself. Petunia loved planning parties.

Then Harry told her all of what to say, including his story for the missing first letter while subtly pointing out that this would kept their attentions off of her and get him out of her hair faster. She took it in stride, shocking him when she agreed with him that Vernon and Dudley had to make plans for whenever the professor would visit.

After that he spied on the neighbors-in such a discreet way it would actually make Aunt Petunia proud-and carefully evaluated what he saw with his memories of there habits. They didn't seem to change. It would be easy. And really, why should he care if some muggles saw the professor? It was their job as an adult to worry about security, not him.

Harry then through his energy into scrubbing almost every inch of the house. He was going nowhere near the other occupied rooms.

Now he could say that he was officially ready.

Eh…or so he thought.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_**Dear Mr. H. Potter,**_

_**I am pleased that you and your family have accepted your invitation into our school. You absolutely do not have to explain why you were unable to receive the first letter.**_

_**The Headmaster has arranged for me and our potions master, Professor Snape, to come on July 31**__**st **__**at ten o'clock in the morning. I am terribly sorry if this date disrupts any of your plans. We will answer any of your questions and take you to Diagon Ally to retrieve your supplies.**_

_**Hoping you are doing well,**_

_**Minerva McGonagall,**_

_**Deputy Headmistress**_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

On the morning of July 31st you could find a boy of eleven years old frantically trying to calm down.

If you were to pay any attention to the surroundings you might notice that the sun had yet to rise. You might also notice that it was pitch black in said boy's room.

Now if you were really observant you might possibly pick up on the fact that the boy was glowing in a sliver light.

But if you weren't you wouldn't be able to see anything. And, no, this is not sarcasm.

You see, this boy, also going by the name Sophos, was magical. So if you didn't have the magical sight- and was looking for something magical- then you could not see what this boy was doing, let alone see any spectral of light around him.

So, back to the story.

Sophos had awoken up not so long ago.

Well, you can't really say 'awoken' if said person was not actually sleep.

He wasn't. He was in Domus.

What is Domus?

Simple, really.

Domus is where one's magical core would be found if they had one. Domus is where one's most private memories lay, where your most imitate thoughts and desires thrive.

It is home. Hence, Domus.

That was where Sophos was.

In his Domus, a clearing in the forest thick with vegetation, the trees far more mighty then anything in the Forbidden Forest (not that he'd know that as he has yet to have been there), everything coated in gleaming blue, shinning sliver and deepest black is where he visits every other day. The tiny dew drops on the leaves and that swirls with the wind are his thoughts. The tangible air is his desires and emotions. Sophos finds clarity within here.

There is no sun. Only the white moonlight shone through the trees making rays touch the ground, seeming to condense. But when it finds the spring of water that comes from small waterfall it fills it up. It is his magic. Sophos finds his peace here.

In the jet black sky there is seven points of light. Around the edges are six of what one would say are stars. In the center is what one would say is the moon. It is his core, whether it'd be magical or otherwise. Sophos finds his wonder here.

That is what Sophos was doing before he '_awoke_.' He had been staring at his core, still pondering on what could be the other six points of light, listening to the steady whistle of the wind (thoughts), the calming flow of the water (magic), the rustle of life (his defenses) and feeling the soothing presence of warmth (emotions) when he was rudely dragged out.

How you ask? By himself, of course.

Did he _mean_ to? Eh…no.

It wasn't his fault, really. It was _Selynda's_!

Okay, to be fair she didn't _mean_ to practically strangle him to death. She was having a nightmare.

Typical.

But after he woke up (and woke Selynda up before she could kill him) he was reminded by her of something. Something that only an _idiot_ would have forgotten.

Again, _typical_.

He forgot that the professors that were coming this day were _magical_.

Talk about ironic.

So, because they are wizards (and witches) they can do the art of Legilimency. And because of that, Sophos wasn't so confident that his Occlumeny could hold off the experienced in the skill.

(Apparently Selynda have the ability to 'read minds' so she, just being herself, decided to attack Sophos' one day. She thought it would be extremely funny as he didn't even know she could do that. She didn't even understand why she had that ability, only that she was able as long as she could remember. So she did and it was such a strain on him as she wasn't expecting for all of the abuse and neglect to be dragged up that he collapsed. She was naturally horrified and explained to Sophos what she was trying to do and how she wasn't even thinking. He understood and forgave her- not without being sulky and irritated, of course.

So, she taught he some shields and metal defenses. They could block her to a point, but she could always get through.)

_Damn! Damn! Damn!_

He was so dead!

What if they discovered his secrets?

Selynda- magic- training- plans!

Ah, _man_, he was going straight to the dogs of war. Or Hell. Whatever is preferred.

_How in the world do you get out of a situation like this_!

_§Relax, Snake-child! You can do this, I know you can!§_ Sometimes their familiar/wizard connection made them specially tuned to each other in a time of great turmoil, and now was Sophos' and he desperately need Selynda's help.

_§No I can't! I'm _awful_! They're going to find out I'm deliberately using magic! While that would be okay if I didn't know anything about the Magical World the fact that I do if going out against the law- I'm going to be in so much trouble! Then they'll know about all of my plans and we'll be stuck with the Dursleys forever! Oh, who an I kidding? No we won't! They'll just kill us- _Oh my Shesha_! The wizards will probably just kill you when they find out! _NO_! You have to go into hiding, _right away_!§_

Sophos was sounding hysteric and looked on the verge of tears which was really something to stop you short. Selynda only remembered Sophos crying in his memories. She hasn't once seen him loose it with her around. Plus, the disturbing thing is that he was probably five years old when he last let it all out. It was just something that if someone told her, Selynda would snort in disbelief and declare them a lair.

_§Oh, sweet Sophos, no. _No one_ is going away. We are _no_t being killed _or _stuck with these disgusting muggles and _no one_ is killing me. I'm going to kick the bucket only after I've completed _everything _on my list. Not before. Okay? Deep breaths, sweet tooth. Deep breaths.§_

Sophos barely heard her but if he did he would have mentioned that it was '_sweetheart_,' not '_sweet tooth_.' Although, Sophos would have to admit that it was pretty close. But he did hear her suggestion and took some big gulps of air, the pain in his chest making it difficult.

_§I don't want you to get hurt! I- §_

_§I know! _Calm down._ It is not going to happen! Everything will be okay.§_ Selynda wrapped her body slightly more tightly against her Snake-child but not enough to hurt him. As she rubbed his head against him cheek, Sophos slumped into sitting back on the bed and hugged her back leaning his head against his serpent.

_§You don't know that,§_ He whimpered, sounding not at all like himself. Even though Selynda felt a little uneasy about the situation she had to make him feel better. It was her responsibility as his older sister and as her Snake-child she wasn't about to let anything hurt him, not even his emotions.

_§But I do. Worst comes to worst you'll get a slight slap on the wrist for the magic. They wouldn't _dare_ hurt me as I'm your familiar and it would cause you extreme pain. You're the Boy-Who-Lived, remember? There are _some _perks that come with it, you know. And if that old man sends you back here, I can just have those farm animals for breakfast.§_

It was one of those rare moments when Selynda didn't sound insane and actually made sense. It was also one of those times that Sophos fully appreciated having her always by his side.

_§Besides,§_ Selynda continued airily, _§If we take the bite now we might be able to digest some butterflies. I hear many people have them in there stomachs and I really want to know how they survive.§_

Sophos began to crack up and leaned back on his pillow, allowing himself to sink into the softness as Selynda curled up on his chest.

Yes. It was really worth it to have Selynda. Even if it did entitle to being strangled in the middle of the night and set off on a mental breakdown. He was just glad she didn't snore.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Ready, Severus?"

Snape glared at Minerva. "I suppose."

Both turned on their heels and with a crack they were gone from Hogwarts grounds.

After the uncomfortable tube ride they both appeared in a muggle neighborhood in a secluded alcove that was surrounded by trees. They peered around them, checking for muggles. Seeing no one they started briskly walking down the street. The women looked at a sign and told her partner to follow.

It was soon to be ten o'clock and they were about to greet the person who would set Earth on its side.

"This way."

They made their way over to number four. It was a very good thing that they marked down they houses or else everyone would be unable to find theirs because all were so much the same, only differing from personal changes. Snape curled his lip in disgust.

They walked up to the stairs, their shoes slapping on the pavement.

Minerva stepped forward and rapped on the door smartly. The professors could hear the tapping of heels coming towards them, the window image disoriented in the glass.

The door flew open to a smiling, horse-faced woman with blonde hair. She wore a red sundress with flowers throughout the design.

"Hello! Come in, come in! We are so happy to have you!"

She ushered them in closing the door behind her. Snape for one was a bit confused. _Since when did Petunia like wizards? And why does she not recognize me? Surely she would have a fit if she knew I was in her house._

Petunia lead them to the living room offering them tea. They accepted

"Where are the others, if I may ask?"

"Oh, they went out with some friends and couldn't get out of it. They wish they were here though."

Petunia smiled and took their coats (they were dress very nicely as muggles if she had to admit it).

"I'll just go get Harry. He's outside reading. He doesn't really pay attention to the time- or really _anything_- when he has a book in his hand. I didn't want to interrupt him." Petunia said with a strange, fond smile and bustled out of the room.

McGonagall stared thoughtfully after her. "Perhaps we bet too soon. Harry sounds like a Ravenclaw."

Snape snorted. "More like the brat was trying to get attention, being late."

"Now, Severus-" She stopped as they heard footsteps heading their way.

They got their first look at Harry as he rounded the corner.

To McGonagall he looked like a fine young man. He had on black jeans and a black collared shirt with appropriate shoes. His hair wasn't nearly as messy as she thought it'd be and he didn't look so much as his father as everyone assumed he would. He had exactly his mother's eyes, but they seemed brighter with secrets. It also seemed that he didn't have his father's atrocious eyesight.

Severus on the other hand was confused and _furious_. He was so sure that the boy would look just like a carbon copy of his father, but he was wrong. The brat was much neater then his father and seemed to have sharper features and a less thin face. What made him furious were those eyes. When they flashed over to meet his and he found he was looking at Lily's eyes. But instead of full of life, his seemed to have a shadow pass over them.

The boy looked embarrassed and ducked his head shyly at his professors' stares and mumbled out, "It's nice to meet you."

McGonagall thought he was adorable. Not that she'd say it out loud.

"Now, Harry," his aunt chided after she finished handing out the tea and plate of fruits and pastries, "that was not a way to greet your guests." She squeezed his shoulders slightly when he shoot her a look that neither Snape nor McGonagall caught.

Harry took a deep breath and looked up, still avoiding their eyes and said clearer, "I apologize. It's really a pleasure to have you here. Thank you so much for coming."

McGonagall smiled warmly at Harry. Such a sweet boy! "Oh, no need to thank us, Mr. Potter. It's our job."

The boy smiled hesitantly at his new professor. "Yes, Ms. McGonagall."

Before McGonagall could say anything Snape spoke up with a sneer. "Boy, you will answer to us as 'professor,' 'ma'am', or 'sir.' Is that clear?"

The boy swallowed and said quietly, "Yes, sir."

His aunt directed him to the love seat, sitting down next to him. Without either of his the guests seeing he sharply glanced at her when she took his hand. Impressive.

"Ah, Severus, so nice to see you again. It's been _so_ long."

Petunia seemed to notice her old time nemesis for the first time. She had a look of mock surprise of her face, not looking directly in his eyes. Neither of the professors knew was that she was instructed by her nephew not to after he explained to her about Legilimency. Snape just presumed that she just didn't want to even look at him.

"Yes, it has, hasn't it?" He answered silkily.

The boy seemed fascinated by the exchanged and glanced back and forth between the adults until Snape glare at him. Potter looked hastily away.

"Are there any questions you have, Mr. Potter?" McGonagall said quickly, sensing the tension.

Potter seemed to waver for a second, as though deciding on whether denying. "What subject do you teach?"

McGonagall smiled. Harry was much more like his mother than his father. But even she was not this shy. "Transfiguration, Mr. Potter. It is the art in which you shaped an object into another be it inanimate or not."

"Really?" He spoke hesitantly, looking up from under his eyelashes. "That sounds interesting. What will we be starting with?"

So McGonagall chatted up the young man and she was happy to see him loosening up, relaxing into the couch.

Snape was annoyed. He didn't have all day for this mindless prattle! He has work to do that didn't involve listening to Potter fire questions at McGonagall.

After a long talk Harry turned his attention to Snape. "Sir? What subject do you teach?"

Snape sneered down at the Potter spawn. "Potions. I doubt _you'll_ have much luck in that area. You have to have _talent_ for starters."

"O-oh." The boy stuttered out, hunching his shoulders slightly and ducking his head again, avoiding the gaze of the potions master.

"Harry?" Petunia spoke up suddenly. "Why don't you go read your book for a few minutes? I have something to discuss with your professors."

Potter nodded and quickly exited the room, throwing another glance at his aunt. This time Snape caught it. Oddly enough, Potter looked… _amused. What_ _in the world…?_

"Harry seems like a lovely boy."

"Oh, yes." Petunia replied to McGonagall with that odd smile again. "He is."

She sipped her tea and cleared her throat, throwing a glance at the door. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about…"

McGonagall frowned. "Is there something wrong, Mrs. Dursley?"

"No, no, not at all. And call me Petunia." Petunia had a sort of ironic smile that Snape couldn't place as she wasn't looking at him. "It's just that-" She through another glance at the door. "Harry can be… Well, you saw. He doesn't really like… being around _people_." Petunia finished awkwardly.

The frown deepened. "You mean he is rather shy? Yes, I noticed that."

"No," Petunia said slowly. "That's not what I really meant. He isn't all that shy, actually. I'm not sure why he's acting like this. Probably nervous. I mean, he doesn't like people in general. Avoids them. He told me once that everyone is too loud, though I don't think that's what he meant when he said that. Harry doesn't have any friends as far as I know and he isn't inclined to wanting any. It's…odd."

Snape and McGonagall were now staring at her. McGonagall in concern and Snape in disbelief.

"What…What do you mean he '_isn't inclined to wanting any'_?"

Petunia frowned and stared thoughtfully down at her cup seeming to think of what to say.

"He likes to go off by himself. He doesn't try to make any friends. The teachers thought that he was maybe being bullied. They asked some of the students and a few seemed to think that he was but wouldn't tell who was doing it. When I sat Harry down and asked him he seemed confused and told me he didn't know what I was talking about. When I asked him why he didn't want any friends he told me he didn't see any point in making any. He just doesn't want to."

There was a moment of silence as the professors turned this over in their head._ A _Potter _not seeking attention? How absurd._

"Also," Petunia continued while tracing her figure around the edge of her cup, "Some…funny things…" She looked up suddenly. "Not like Lily. Lily used to make lots of magic. Harry… Well, I'm not sure. When he was little he would have outbursts at least twice a week and unexpectedly. And it wasn't anything small… Now I haven't seen him do anything for a few years, actually. But his teachers told me of some…_odd_ incidents that sure sound like it…"

"Like what, exactly?" Snape spoke this time.

Petunia frowned and looked back down again making Snape rather frustrated. "Well… Just some odd things that don't sound so right. Some bad things, too. Once they found the class pet- it was a hamster, I think… Well, Harry was the last one with it and no one really knows what happened but… All that was left of it was its skeleton. I don't see how Harry could have done it, especially since he loves animals so much…" At this her smile twisted into something _very _odd. "But magic seems to be the only explanation to that one. Whenever I ask he gets angry and denies that he did anything…"

Petunia continued to examine her cup.

"And? What else?" Snape asked after a moment.

Petunia glance at him and looked back down. "Well… once, on a field trip Harry went one exploring with two other classmates. That seems strange in itself as I've said before how Harry goes his own way… When they came back the other two…weren't the same as before. The chaperon told me they were shaking when they came back. I thought Harry looked pretty unsettled too, but the others were… just _not right_ after that. Harry refuses to talk about that."

Snape felt an ice cold finger slid down his back. _That sounded like… but no. It couldn't be, could it? This was a _Potter_. Fanatics of the Light… But, then, the boy was attacked by _him_. Maybe a part of him was-_

No. It wasn't healthy to think like that. This could be anything. A coincidence.

"You said his accidental magic was different," Snape remembered suddenly. "What do you mean by that?"

Petunia looked startled. "Oh. Well, it would happen an awful lot. I remember when he was four he once levitated all the furniture in the house when he tripped and head his head. It took a week to put everything back into place. Then- I think he was six years old- he was watching a horror movie that was left on and he had a nightmare. It made the whole house shake and when we woke him up he knocked us out-"

"Excuse me?" McGonagall asked astonished.

"I mean his cry did." Petunia clarified. "That one only happened once. Felt like someone hit you over the head." She shivered.

Snape and McGonagall exchanged incredulous glances.

"And all throughout his childhood he'd disappear."

A moment of silence as the two professors gapped at her. Petunia tried very hard not to laugh. They boy was right- this was hilarious. She could really see his appeal in this method. It was strangely satisfying tricking these people; she didn't think that she could balm him anymore for every time he did something like this to her family. _It was too funny_, she grudgingly thought. The best part was that these stories held some truth, so it wasn't as though it was so off the mark.

"Wh-what do you mean?" McGonagall asked weakly.

Petunia shrugged causally. "You know- vanish, disappear. He'd be there one second and the next he was just… gone. He'd come back in a few days or so. Once he came back looking quite traumatized. He told me I'd really be better off not knowing…"

Petunia had to go back to studying the cup so she would not burst out laughing at their flabbergasted expressions.

"Is…Is there anything else we should know?" McGonagall asked sounding even fainter.

Petunia pursed her lips as she thought this over. _Perhaps… Why not?_

"Well… Harry was diagnosed with Haphephobia. Morbid fear of being touched." She elaborated at their confused expressions.

"_What!_" Both gasped.

Petunia, once again, hid a smile. Of course he wasn't diagnosed with anything of the sort but this just made things more interesting. _Harry would probably appreciate it._ She thought. _He owes me for this._

"Yes," Petunia replied matter-of-factly "That is why I have to make sure that I- I don't know- maybe hold his hand or perhaps just a hand on his arm. The doctors say that it helps to overcome it. Harry is doing alright. Although," She said, putting on a thoughtful face, "That could be a reason why he doesn't want any friends."

Snape and McGonagall could only gawk.

"Shall I get Harry then?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Selynda and Sophos were trying their hardest to keep their Occlumeny shields up as they listened to the conversation. They were both astounded that the horse was such a great actress. Sophos just hoped that the little slip where she said that he thought people were too loud and how he didn't see any point in making any friends would not be noticed. It was really minor. Nothing to really worry about.

_§That is probably where you got your sneakiness from, Sophos. Your mothers side.§_ Selynda chortled.

Sophos nodded, trying to keep his laughs from escaping.

_§Oh man,§_ Selynda continued with a snigger, _§The old man isn't going to know what hit him. I think the clock is heading his way.§_

At that Sophos couldn't hold it in any longer, and buried his face in his hands hoping to muffle the sound.

* * *

_**Preview:**__ Diagon Ally here he comes! Harry goes shopping with the professors after his little chat with the goblins. _

* * *

_I'm so sorry! I guess I lied. That seemed much longer then last time…then again this chapter was longer. Hmph. _

_Well, anyway, the next one will definitely be up faster as I'm really anxious to get started. This chapter was pretty fun to write. I promise I'm going to up Snape's nastiness and tone down Dumbledore's insanity. Unless you guys want it, of course._

_Tell me what you think!_

_xo- Vayah_


	5. Transformations

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

* * *

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 4: Transformations_

_

* * *

_

_A person needs a little madness,_

_or else they never dare cut the rope and be free._

_~Nikos Kazantzakis _

* * *

The boy looked up at him. He glared back. The boy continued to stare.

What was _wrong _with this brat?

Snape had been restraining himself all day from doing it because if Minerva saw him he might as well dig his own grave. But the brat was so _annoying_. So, he began to probe Potter's mind when he suddenly looked away and started to hop- yes, _hop_- to McGonagall.

"Professor!" Exclaimed the suddenly hyper eleven-year old. "Do you think that-"he pointed to the sky, "looks like a batrachophagous having lunch?"

"A…_what_?"

The boy blinked serenely up at her. "The cloud, Professor."

McGonagall looked down at the boy confusion written on her face. "Yes, but what did you say?"

The boy looked at her bewildered. "How could you answer the question if you didn't know what I said, ma'am? Is that some kind of magic that you can learn?"

"Wh-? No, Mr. Potter. I haven't answered the question. I didn't understand what you asked."

"You didn't answer the question? Oh. And I just asked how you knew an answer if you didn't comprehend it which is a waste of oxygen now that I know you haven't answered."

Potter turned and hopped once before facing the direction they were heading. He continued to stare at the sky.

McGonagall and Snape exchanged glances.

They continued to walk.

Snape and McGonagall were staring at Harry Potter.

Harry Potter was staring at the man eating frogs.

Riveting.

They made their way to the alcove. Potter cocked his head to the side and fixed the adults with a puzzled look and said, "Selynda really wanted to have some butterflies."

"Ah…"

"I know, right? Weird."

Snape raised his eyebrows sharing another look with McGonagall. "Quite."

"Now, Mr. Potter, we are going to Apparating to the Leakey Caldron to buy your school supplies."

"I thought we were going to Diagon Ally."

"We are, Mr. Potter. The entrance to Diagon Ally is in the Leaky Caldron. "

"I know. I was merely commenting on what I was told, Professor McGonagall."

Snape glared at the brat. "Don't interrupt your professors, boy."

Potter blinked at him for a moment. Snape was about to snap at him but he said, "Yes, sir."

"Well, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, her face softening, holding out her arm, "You have to grab hold."

The boy stared at her unblinking.

He stayed like that for five minutes.

He stared at her while she glanced repeatedly at Snape while he stared at the boy. It was unnerving to the adults to say the least.

The boy suddenly blurted out, "Are you finished, professor?"

McGonagall started. "Finished with what, Mr. Potter?"

The boy blinked. "Explaining. It didn't seem like it. You haven't told me what it is. I didn't want to interrupt you, Professor."

McGonagall looked startled then sent a glare at her colleague."I apologize, Mr. Potter. Apparating is a Wizarding method of traveling that you need a license for. I'm going to take you on Side-Along Apparating. I suppose muggles would call it Teleporting." She looked at his silent form and said exasperated, "You may talk now, Mr. Potter."

"Oh. Well, I already knew that, Professor, but thank you anyway."

McGonagall frowned. "If you already knew that why didn't you say anything?"

The boy cocked his head to the side again. "I didn't stop you because Professor Snape told me not to interrupt."

"What? But I was clearly finished."

Potter frowned. "I admit, Professor. Your words are making no sense to me."

"Likewise." Snape cut in dryly.

"Severus…" McGonagall said warningly "Anyway, Mr. Potter, grab hold."

The boy sighed, and what looked like great reluctance, stepped forward slowly and wrapped in hand around her wrist, flinching as he did so. McGonagall looked down at him sympathetically. Snape sneered.

"This can be very discerning, Mr. Potter, I suggest you hold on."

The witch was about to turn on her heel when the boy's voice stopped her. "I know."

"You know what?" She asked warily.

"That Apparating is uncomfortable. I told you I already knew about Apparating a minute ago."

The professors stared. He stared back.

"Well… Off we go then."

The black-haired boy disappeared with a crack with a stern looking woman with a tight bun. A nasty looking man dressed in all black followed. 

"This way, Mr. Potter."

They moved through the shabby restaurant, weaving through the many tables and customers. It was rather dark and seemed very old and dirty looking to be a famous place in the Wizarding World.

A voice at the bar called out, "Professors! Great to see you, like something to drink?"

"We can't, Tom," McGonagall said curtly. "We have Hogwarts business to attend."

"Ah! Of course, of course," Tom the bartender said peering at the boy, "Muggleborn I presu-" He stopped suddenly and gasped. "Good Lord, is this- can this be?"

The pub had suddenly gone completely still and silent.

"Potter- Harry Potter!" He exclaimed and began to make his way out from behind the counter.

"Who?" was the question that stopped the tramped short.

A moment of silence as Snape and McGonagall gaped at the boy just as the rest of the pub was.

"Your- your _not_ Harry Potter?"

The boy had a look of upmost confusion on his face. "Of course not! What made you think_ that_? I'm Bond- James Bond."

All of the people in the herd seemed to deflate in disappointment. They slouched back to their seats.

"My apologies, Mr. Bond. I thought that I saw something on your forehead and you look quite like a Potter. Although, not so much now, I suppose."

Bond smiled kindly up at Tom. "It's alright, sir. I've heard that it's very easy for one to mistake someone for another if they have the wrong name."

Tom nodded in agreement. "Quite right, sonny, quite right."

McGonagall and Snape were speechless.

"So," Bond said causally and innocently, "Whose Harry Potter?"

Gasps were heard all around the near quiet pub. It quickly turned into a buzzing of mummers.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know that that's wrong. I'm a Muggleborn you see, so-"

"It's alright, Mr. Bond." Tom glared around at the masses. They all shut up and watched. "Harry Potter is famous in our world."

"Whys that?"

"He's the only known survivor of the Killing Curse and he's the reason why You-Know-Who is gone. The curse that You-Know-Who preformed was rebounded on him somehow. All that was left was a lightning bolt shaped scar on Harry Potter's head."

"Who did that to Harry Potter?" Bond asked, perplexed.

"You-Know-Who."

"No I don't. That's why I'm asking you."

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He was the most powerful Dark Lord of the age. Dark days, Bond dark days. He was a wizard that went worse then bad. Even worse then worse." Bond raised his eyebrow. "You see, twenty years ago he started looking for followers- and got them, too. Some joined him just because they were afraid. But no one knew who to trust- didn't go meeting anyone strange of the like. He was powerful. He was taking over. Of course some stood up to him, but he killed them- horribly. One of the only safe places that were left was Hogwarts. Everyone reckons that he was feared Dumbledore-Anyway, he was after the Potters. Who knows why? But once he marked someone down for death you were as good as gone. So they went into hiding. But he found them and when he turned his wand on the Potter boy he couldn't. His powers somehow broke- he couldn't kill that baby boy. That's why Harry Potter is famous."

"But what is his name?"

Tom glanced around nervously at the glaring customers. "We do not speak the name."

"Why not? It's just a name. It's not like He's going to show up because you said it. He was defeated wasn't He? So He's gone. No point in not saying the name."

Tom glanced around again and leaned toward Bond whispering something that Bond didn't catch.

"What?"

Tom murmured again a bit louder this time.

Bond scowled. "I can't hear you."

"Lord- Lord Voldemort."

"Lord Voldemort?" Bond said loudly.

The effect of those two words was incredible.

People gasped, sloshing their drinks everywhere. Plates people were holding shattered on the ground. Somebody's pain filled cry shoot through as glass imbedded into his foot. That scream caused a chain reaction, people panicking as though under attack. The people scrambled up and fought their way to exists, getting pushed down by each other as they tried to escape. Then the fights broke out.

Bond looked around, eyes wide.

"Talk about dramatic."

Bond yelped as someone grabbed his arm in an unbreakable iron grip and dragged him over to a different door that lead into a small courtyard surrounded by brick walls with only a trash can and weeds sticking up from the dead ground.

Bond shook off the hand and glared at the offender.

"_What the devil do you think you are doing, Potter_?"

"Wondering why you man-handled me after a very melodramatic room full of people had a breakdown, sir."

Snape couldn't even scold the brat for talking to him like that because his tone was serious and his face smoothed out into a stoic mask.

"What were you_ thinking_ saying that name, boy?"

"Well, I knew he was feared and everything I just didn't know his name was, too. Sir." He added after a pause.

Snape glared.

"May I ask," said McGonagall who followed them in, "Why you said that your name was James Bond?"

"Taking after his father no doubt."

"Huh?"

Before anyone else could say a thing the door opened again and a pale young man made his way in. His eye was twitching.

"H-hello, Min-Minerva, Sev-Severus. P-P-Potter, c-can't t-tell you how p-pleased I am t-to meet you."

He held out his hand for Potter to shake which he did without question.

"V-very c-clever of y-you, M-Mr. P-Potter. J-James B-Bonds, in-indeed." He gave a sort of strangled laugh.

Potter raised an eyebrow and studied the man intently. Finally he said coldly, "Thank you, sir. I assume you are another professor." It wasn't a question.

"Y-yes. D-defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts." He said as though he'd rather not think about it.

Potter didn't seem to notice that though. "Huh. Interesting. You need to be pretty brave to fight the Dark Arts, hmm? I bet you have to be skilled in deception, too. Correct, Professor Quirrell?"

All three adults stared at him. Quirrell stopped squirming. An ice cold shiver traveled up McGonagall's and Snape's back. None have told the boy what his new teacher's name was. All were wondering the same thing.

Potter cocked his head to the side. "I learned a long time ago that an eccedentesiast always gets ferreted out as being depressed." He frowned. "I don't mean on TV, though."

They continued to stare.

"You know," the boy continued airily, "Normally when you go out shopping, you actually do buy items instead of watching an eleven-year old talk."

For a moment there was silence. Then Professor Quirrell jumped like a lad rat that was shocked. "You'll be g-getting all your e-equipment, I-I suppose? I h-have to p-pick up a new b-book on V-V-Vampires, m-myself." He looked terrified at the very thought.

"Oh, really? Need to make a stop at Gringotts, too?"

"Y-yes…" Quirrell said more slowly, warily.

"You can come with us if you like. We have to go there before the book store, too." Potter's smile was more than slightly predatory.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The walk to Gringotts was an entertaining one. For Sophos and Selynda that is.

Sophos was currently back to his jaunty mood from before, sounding as though he had too much sugar. He was doing a good job at confusing the Hell out of his new elders. It was hysterical. Sophos had to constantly remind Selynda not to start hissing by poking her- quite hard- on her side.

Selynda came up with a nice compromise where no one would be able to see her but she could see them. She moved herself into a position where she could look out of Sophos shirt in between the buttons.

Right now the humans were walking up the steps of a snowy white building that towered over the shops. Besides the burnished bronze doors were then goblins in their gold and red uniforms looking like a security team. He bowed them in and looked at Sophos stomach, raising an eyebrow on his swarthy clever face, as though he knew something was there that shouldn't be. Selynda couldn't surpass a shiver at the thought of the trouble that Sophos would get into having her. Good thing the goblins were so understanding.

On the next set of doors- sliver this time- was the inscription:

**Enter, stranger, but take heed**

**Of what awaits the sin of greed,**

**For those who take, but do not earn,**

**Must pay most dearly in their turn.**

**So if you seek beneath our floors,**

**A treasure that was never your,**

**Thief, you have been warned, beware**

**Of finding more than treasure there.**

When Selynda felt Sophos tense up, she knew that he understood the message: You can steal something if you prove that you deserve it, but not if it's for personal gain. If you do try to get your hands on something because of your greed, the Laws of Magic is going to give you Hell. It wasn't a warning. It was a Magical Contract.

They made their way into a vast marble hall. Sophos had stopped talking. Selynda knew he was appreciating all of the Old Magick that was sowed into the foundations. She didn't even need her Magical Sight- she could taste it in the air.

Hundreds of goblins were sitting on high stools scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins in brass scales and examining precious stones through eyeglasses. There were many doors that were off to the sides with goblins escorting humans in and out of while many were with the workers at the counters.

The group made there way to a free goblin.

"Hello," the cat lady said briskly, "We are here to make a withdrawal from Harry Potter's safe and Professor Quirrell needs to stop at his vault, also."

"Oh?" the goblin- who had previously been wearing a bored expression- sat up straighter and peered at Sophos. He too, gave a knowing look at his midriff. "Welcome, Mr. Potter. Or would you rather Sophos?"

The professors stopped and looked confusingly between the creature and small boy.

Bowing slightly- and squashing Selynda a bit- Sophos said, "Sophos is fine, Great Warrior. May the Great Maker gift you with that is more valuable then gold." Selynda could hear Sophos smile when he spoke and felt his arm shift as he put his fist over his heart as a sign of respect.

The goblin bowed back ignoring the dumbstruck human adults. "May He also give fairly to you."

By now Sophos had the attention of every goblin around them and probably more than Selynda could see.

"Griphook! Sophos has arrived with his guest," Selynda wondered if any of the humans picked up on the fact that it wasn't a plural. "You know what to do."

Griphook and Sophos bowed to each other (Sophos showing his sigh of respect to his elders). The goblin beckoned her Snake-child and the humans to follow him.

"Hold it," Bat Grease said pulling out an envelope. "Dumbledore has business here today as well."

The goblin at the counter read it carefully then waved Griphook forward and murmured something to him in their language that Selynda couldn't make out. She made a metal note to get Sophos started on Gobbledegook as well; it wouldn't do for him to get stuck in a sticky situation with a bunch of goblins and not even know how to speak properly to them.

Soon after they found themselves being escorted into the tunnels by Griphook. Selynda could sense Sophos surprise and guessed it was from the vastly different décor.

They climbed into the cart, Sophos sifting around as to not crush his familiar to death. And they were off.

Selynda was aware that the carts weren't maneuvered by anyone but magic and they went ridiculously fast as to confuse the humans to be sure that they don't keep track of where anything is. But Selynda did not know how absolutely uncomfortable and terrifying it was.

As they twisted and turned and dropped and climbed her whole body lurched unpleasantly and her head throbbed. She felt like she couldn't breathe. Selynda was _not_ happy. She wished she had eyelids so she could close her eyes even though it'd be pointless as being in Sophos shirt made everything pitch black.

Her poor Snake-child, what _he_ must be going through…

Finally the ride slowed to a stop. Selynda felt dizzy. She started to curse those idiots- who decided that it was a good idea to make _anything_ that speed- into the clutches of Hades.

Selynda heard Griphook ask for the key.

"It's not the teeth that make it unique, is it?" Sophos asked excitingly. "It's the markings on the surface. You make it look like flaws so that thieves don't realize they're actually words, a different language. It would be like trying to copy a key that says, 'Do No Duplicate,' right?"

The goblin sounded pleased. "Yes, that exactly. Most do not bother to actually consider that aspect."

Some shuffling of people, the clicking of tumblers and the door swung open, green smoke billowing out. Selynda looked in, bored. It was filled with thousands of gallons, sickles and knuts. Nothing of real use. Sure you can buy a few things, but if they had gone to the Potter Family Vault and the others Sophos would be able to have heirlooms and just some items of his family.

After Sophos gathered some money (into his pouch that was produced by Griphook when Sophos asked for something to carry it in) they were off to Quirrell's then onto whatever Dumbledore wanted.

Vault 713 had some nice security, one of them being the culprit getting sucked into the cell to rot for ten years.

Griphook gently brushed his long finger down the length of the door making it melt. Inside, from what Selynda could see, was only a little grubby something wrapped in brown paper. Cat Lady tucked it into her robe.

"Professor?" Sophos sounded sickly sweet. A sure sign that he was up to something. "Shouldn't you put some spells on something to make sure it doesn't fall out or that nobody is able steal it? I mean, if it was so important to have this kind of protection, surely someone would try to take it, even if you had it, right?"

Cat Lady had a thoughtful look on her face. "Yes, I suppose. Though I assure you, Mr. Potter, none would try to steal it off of me."

"Whatever you say, Professor McGonagall."

Cat Lady took Sophos heed and added some enchantments while she walked Sophos through the process, sounding as though she was in 'teacher mode.'

Then they were off again through the awful journey back to the surface.

Just as planned, when the professors' backs were turned, Selynda slid smoothly out of Sophos shirt and onto the arm of a goblin as the goblin pricked Sophos' finger with something sharp. They had important business to attend.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"So do magical creatures exist? Other then vampires, I mean." Harry said with a nod to Quirrell who shuddered. "Like unicorns and werewolves and pixies and angels and fairies and dragons and-"

"_Yes,_ Potter," Snape snapped, "They do. Now I understand that you are very curious to this all but _do _stop your pointless questioning when you are going to find out the answers for yourself shortly."

"But, sir, surely not _all _of my questions can be answered just by reading books. Isn't that what school is for?" Harry asked innocently all the while internally smirking. Snape was so much fun to mess with. And easy, too.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, that is why you have school." McGonagall said before Snape could retort and probably something scathing by the look on his face.

"Good, now I know it's not a waste of time." Harry said cheerfully, careful to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "So, if I decided to jump out of an airplane at the _exact same time_ as a lama spit in someone's face would that cause said person to miss me falling and breaking my neck _or_ would they have time to see me perform magic to make it look like I got hurt and cause for a squad of wizards to be dispatched and erase their memories?_ Or_ would they be unable to know that I did any magic as that was my intention for them not to know?"

The professors exchanged glances for about the millionth time today. Harry sniggered evilly in his head. Adults were so _stupid_.

"Oh," He said, wilting visibly, "You can find that in one of the class texts, can't you?" 

The inside of the book store made Harry feel weak-kneed. Not because Flourish and Blotts was huge. Harry had been to plenty of libraries that made the store look tiny (despite being stuck with the Dursleys- Selynda really made traveling easier). It was the books. They came in all sizes and colors and languages. Everything magic was in here and just standing there, thinking about it all, made him feel faint- not that he'd ever admit it.

Completely forgetting the teachers who had made their way to the counter asking for the basic first year curriculum, Harry wandered off into the store, not even paying attention to where he was headed. He dragged in his fingers gingerly around the spines. They were in no way old; all the books in the store were new. It was the _knowledge_ in the books that-

Holy Shesha. He sounded like _such_ a _Ravenclaw_. Huh. Selynda was right. How bizarre. He _was_ a bookworm. Figures.

Harry breathed in the smells of parchment and leather and whatever else it was that made the store smell faintly like bosal wood. Without noticing, Harry was steadily making his way deeper in to the less respected part of the store where they keep the Dark Arts books.

On the selves in the back the books looked more interesting- if that was even possible. They even had better titles instead of the cheesy, '_Preaching to Phoenixes_,' and '_Ten Ways to Tangle with Trolls_.' One of them that caught his eye was _'__Οι τέχνες της Φύσης_.' Harry knew enough Greek to know that meant '_The Arts of Nature_.' Harry knew that it couldn't be anything science or drawings and such so it had to be some kind of Old Magick that Selynda told him about. She only really scratched that type of magic with him and that was his favorite.

Harry snatched the book off the shelf and immediately made his made over to a squashy armchair, plunking down and opened the book. Inside was a sketch of Greece. It reminded Harry a little of a treasure map. He carefully turned to the first chapter.

'**Of the Seven Powers, Magick which thy may extract from Earth tis known as most potent and moe since the reign of the Ambrosius. The Pure is one of the many creatures that thy abundance is brought from outside thy core. Withal, the wonted offenses which thine dearly maybe charged tis a welkin compared to punishment that thou orison for and vouchsafe not fair but mote to anything soft of incarnadine gaoler. Forsooth, they will have fordo themselves to life of cozening and alack for thyself. Wherefore when we call upon a swain of the Chosen will the sooth of thy Fallen finally be commended…?'**

Harry quickly became engrossed in the book. Thankfully the Greek wasn't as hard as Harry normally had from Selynda. But Harry should have guessed as much; she told him that she makes things harder to make the easier. Then again, the old speech was not easy to decipher.

He was beginning another page when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He tore his eyes from the page detailing the addiction that humans are guilty of- like the Seven Deadly Sins- that made them use the Arts negatively. He narrowed his eyes as he spotted Quirrell a few isles down, perusing the titles. Harry didn't buy it- he was sure that the professor had been watching him just now, probably longer when he hadn't been paying attention. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _How could he have let his guard down?

Harry calmly closed the book and strolled into another section picking up more books that seemed good. He then made his way back to the counter before he realized he was going in the wrong direction. He sighed in annoyance.

By the time that Harry got there he was carrying a whole stack of thick tomes. Snape was livid.

"Potter," He all but snarled, "Think you can gallivant off wherever you take fancy? You _insolent little_-"

"_Severus! _That is hardly called for!" McGonagall huffed.

Harry had to force himself to refine from rolling his eyes. This was so irritating, why can't they _shut up_ once in a while? Or at all?

Harry dropped his many books on the counter smiling apologetically at the employee.

"Mr. Potter you hardly need that amount of books for your first year. We already have your books that you need for your classes."

Harry thought it'd be prudent to _not_ rip her head off, no matter how much he wanted to. Instead he shrugged and put on an indifferent air. "You can never have too many books. Sir," He said to the worker, "Do you have some sort of magically expanded bag- Thank you."

"Mr. Potter, I insist that you don't-"

"Potter? As in _the_ Harry Potter?" The man exclaimed excitedly.

"No," Harry said smoothly. "My names Bond- James Bond. I don't understand why she keeps calling me that." Harry leaned in and mock whispered, "I think she lost it when she drank that tea- mud if I ever saw it." He exaggerated a shudder. The man had to stifle a laugh at McGonagall's glare.

"Mr. Potter-!"

"The name's Bond- James Bond!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The rest of the day was going smoother then the morning. For one thing, they finally ditched Quirrell (although you couldn't really say they left him seeing as he was the one to leave). Another is that McGonagall seemed resigned to calling Harry 'Mr. Bond' as she knew it was utterly pointless to continue to protest. After that, Bond got a lot of shopping done, getting his parchment and quills which he thought was really inconvenient so he got a box of pens and a few spiral notebooks that the store had in the 'muggle section.' Snape, McGonagall and Bond then went to get his trunk. Bond ended up purchasing one with a portable apartment with a lock that only he could open (the password was in Parseltongue and it was 'Shaken Not Stirred.') much to McGonagall's disapproval.

If she didn't like that it was a good thing that she didn't hear Bond ask for another five secret compartments and for detection spells that show the names of everyone who casts a spell on the truck or even touches it with some nasty jinxes to make sure they don't go near it again. Thankfully Bond was able to provide a distraction in the form of Snape almost being crushed to death by luggage. Hey! It was _almost_.

After that Snape decided to leave to get a drink (Bond suspected that McGonagall forced him so that Snape wouldn't end up killing him) while McGonagall and Bond made their way to another stop.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bond bounced into Madam Malkin's Robes for all Occasions. At this point he didn't really need to fake the hyperactive energy; just seeing Snape's furious face with his greasy hair sticking up like a Mohawk was enough.

"Hogwarts, dear?" Asked a squat, smiling witch dressed in all mauve (with Selynda it was better to know your colors or else you'd find yourself six-feet under before you can desperately say '_periwinkle isn't green!'_) "Got the lot here- another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."

Bond wanted to know why she felt the need to tell him that when he didn't care but decided he didn't want McGonagall to go off on a rampage. Well, that wasn't true. He just didn't want her to do it at the moment- it'd be so much more fun for a bunch of children- a whole crowd- to see it.

McGonagall went to look around the shop, trusting that Malkin could keep Bond in line for a few minutes.

In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin directed Bond to a stool next to the boy. Bond wondered why she had practically carried him over. It was weird. And annoying- he_ could_ walk for himself. She slipped the same sort of black robe over his head and began to pin it to the right length. He was bored. Already.

"Hello," the boy said, "Hogwarts, too?"

Bond was immediately suspicious- which was stupid. So some kid was wanted to know if he was going to school with him- so what? He seemed fine. Just a boring stuffed-up pureblood.

But that was the problem. Purebloods that are really into their heredity would form alliances, scrutiny their abilities and test their skills in a cruel or complicated manner which the outcome doesn't matter but your responses. This happens especially with coveted families. Which is not good for Bond right now as he was pretending to be a muggleborn and when the truth comes out they'll see it as a hit against themselves and automatically a conflict will arise and the purebloods will try thrice as hard to get as many people on their side to ostracize him as quickly as possible before-

No, that was ridiculous. They were eleven! They don't go into those politics until at least fifth year when it actually counts!

Um, maybe?

Oh, right, he had to respond. "Yes. What house do you think you'll be in?"

"Slytherin," The boy said immediately. Yup. All time pureblood, Bond could just smell it. "You?"

Bond shrugged. "Not sure. My sister thinks that I could go into any of the houses but says I'll probably end up in Slytherin because I'd traumatize the Hufflepuffs, murder the Gryffindores and make the Ravenclaws catatonic."

The boy sniggered. "All my family have been in Slytherin," He had a bored drawling sort of voice. "But really Hufflepuff? Imagine that. I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

Bond looked at him bemused. This kid thought he was Slytherin material? _Please_! "No. I'd use it to my advantage. Most people don't think much of Hufflepuffs so I could hide all of my talents without anyone noticing while I gather the proper amount of support and amalgamate with other people's enemies and themselves so that I could play the double card_ without_ worrying that it would blow up in my face because they'd try to keep everything that they think they have dominance over they other in secret so that it can stay superior to the other. That would be _ridiculous_, of course, because I'd be playing for myself. So, technically, I'd be three steps ahead of everyone because I'd be drawing them into my circle without them even noticing. At the same time I'd make sure that some people _do _know what I'm doing so that they _don'_t know what I'm _not _doing."

Bond wondered if this kid would even realize what he said was a load of crap. Probably not. You couldn't _really_ play into a game like that unless you knew the dealers first. Then, you couldn't just be on both sides without each side knowing that you're involved with the enemy so you'd have to convince them that you have the other side convinced that you're on _their_ side while convincing the other one that you're really for _their _side even though you _wouldn'_t be on any side at all.

Then you'd have to check on those dealers. You may know them but they know you_ better _because to get to know them you had to have them _think_ that they have dirt on _you_. If they have dirt on you they think that they can control you when _you're _the one really spinning them around in a circle. Even then, _they _could possibly be spinning _you_ in the circle without you even knowing so _you'd_ have to make sure that you're_ predictable _to be _unpredictable_. Simple, really.

But this kid wouldn't know that. And he didn't. He just gaped at Bond while Bond raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

The boy slowly blinked. "I think your sister is right. You_ have_ to go into Slytherin."

Bond gave him a wry smile. "Why? So that I can't have my master plan work? Then again, if I make the Slytherins think that I only got in because I begged the Sorting Hat would that make me look even more vulnerable? In that case, it could work out even better." He finished dangerously all the while laughing inside.

"I…Um-" the blonde boy gulped. "That's not what I meant-!"

"Oh, I'm sure. You want me to believe that Lucius Malfoy's son doesn't already have about fifty different scenarios planned out? Or maybe you're just worried that you're going to be on one of my idiot sides. Well, if I'm _telling_ you all this don't you think you're _already_ on the _third side_?"

"I…_What_?"

Bond smiled cheerfully. "Or maybe I'm just saying all of this to mess with you. But you wouldn't know either way, would you? Because if I'm not just kidding then you really have to figure out the tricks of the trade, huh?"

"Yes- No- I…_What_!"

"Is that a question? It didn't sound like it."

The boy seemed to gather himself and glared at Bond. "How did you know who my father was?"

Bond couldn't help but smirk. "Oh, come on! I bet normally you wouldn't even_ question_ that, would you? But to answer your question- other then the fact that you just confirmed it- you're a pale blonde Slytherin and look like a Malfoy. Who _else_ could you be?"

Malfoy didn't seem to know what to say to this. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but Bond beat him to it.

"Do you play quidditch?"

"What!"

"You know, with the broomsticks and-"

"I know what Quidditch is!"

"That _is _nice to know, Draco. Your father would be most disappointed that you don't even know what the game is after buying you all that equipment."

"Professor Snape!" Draco said in surprise. He didn't turn red but pink rose to his cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"We are escorting Mr. P-Bond." McGonagall said, popping into existence. She fixed Bond with a stern look. "I do hope that you _have not_ done any permanent damage to Mr. Malfoy."

Bond pouted. "Why do you assume I've done_ anything_? We were having a nice talk, weren't we Draco?"

"Uh…" Draco said, obviously at lose for words. "Yes, we were talking about-"

"How Hufflepuffs was going to revolutionize the world."

Snape and McGonagall looked incredulously at Bond then at each other. While they weren't looking at him Bond smirked and sent an ironic sort of wink at Draco who was gawking at him. Oh, this was almost _too_ much fun!

Draco seemed to pull himself together. "Why are the professors with you?"

"My parents are dead." Bond said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Draco didn't seem to know what to say to that with the teachers watching. If they weren't, Bond was sure that he would have asked who they were. "Sorry."

"No apology necessary. After all I might have been one of _them_." He said dramatically.

McGonagall and Snape were staring at him in confusion again. Bond hid a smirk.

Bemused, Draco asked, "One of whom?"

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Why do _you _talk like _that_?"

"Talk like _what_?"

"You sound American."

Bond had to pause at that. He'd forgotten. He was careful to sound British (which he- ironically- was) in front of the professors. Selynda was the only one he really talked to and she's been all over, settling on a more North Eastern accent. Oh, who cared? The professors already thought he was insane.

"I _am_ from America."

"Really?" Draco sounded more interested they he had before. "Where?"

"New York."

By now Snape and McGonagall just looked exasperated. Good. They were finally learning.

"Then why are you going to Hogwarts?"

Bond rolled his eyes. "I said my parents were dead, didn't I? I went to go live with my relatives."

"Oh," sounding awkward, Draco shifted uneasily.

Snape decided to break the silence. "So you were discussing Hufflepuffs in positive light? How unlike you, Draco…"

Draco shifted again and glanced at Bond who shot him an amused look. It seemed to hold some kind of answer to Draco for he nodded. "Yeah, they seem to be the only ones who aren't involved in any of the prejudiced and always come out in battles… I've never heard of a Hufflepuff who was a target or who had to choose a side…Have you?"

"Nope!" Bond said cheerfully. "Being in Hufflepuff would be awesome, don't you think?"

A pause then, "Yeah!" Draco said, finally catching onto what Bond was doing. "Being in with Hufflepuffs would be great!"

"And you can be my loyal minion for when I'm a Dark Lord!"

"Definitely!"

"DRACO-!"

"WHAT!" Three different people screamed at once.

Bond and Draco jumped.

A blonde haired man steamed over and seized his sons arm and dragged him out of the shop ranting about idiotic people. Draco shot a glare at Bond that was ruined by the smile twitching at his lips. Bond grinned flippantly back and waved mockingly.

"Wait 'til he finds out I'm Harry Potter!" Bond said cheerfully.

Madam Malkin and her staff dropped the robes they were carrying.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Next was the Apothecary where Snape literally grabbed onto Bond so that he couldn't cause chaos without him seeing and without being reprimanded again. They were out of there fairly quickly as Bond figured he could order whatever he wanted or just steal it from the school supply. Then again, was it thief if he was the student? Not _really_.

Now they were moving onto Ollivanders where Bond would get his first wand. Bond actually shut up with his psycho babbling in exchange for an upset stomach. He vaguely wondered when he became a batrachophagous instead of having butterflies.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The shop of Ollivander's (Fine Wand Makers since 382 B.C.), narrow and shabby, was filled with thousands of narrow boxes piled up on each other and the shelves. It gave you the impression of being in a strict library.

"Good afternoon," said a soft voice from within the shadows.

Bond steadied himself against the urge to jump. Most undignified- just like McGonagall. Such a _Griffie _thing to do.

An old, frail man stood before him with wild white hair and his eyes were shinning like pale moons in the gloom of the shop. He seemed to see right into their souls- or their cores. Bond that was fitting as the very dust and silence seemed to be filled with some secret magic that has yet to revel itself to him.

"Hello, Mr. Einstein."

McGonagall and Snape looked at Bond incredulously for a moment before they both opened their mouths simultaneously, both glaring, when a hearty laugh cut them off.

"Ah yes. Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon-" He peered at Bond, "Master Sophos. Or would you rather Mr. James Bond?" He sounded amused.

Bond couldn't speak. Now this was some magical voodoo-ey insanity that he was hoping for.

"You have your mother's eyes." He continued without waiting for an answer. "It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand."

And so he continued to tell Bond about Lily's wand and James', too. Bond was getting excited, especially when he was told he had sold a wand to Kid- Evil when he was eleven. He didn't really care he was hearing about things connected to his past- he much more happy to realize that Mr. Ollivander had such a great memory and that he was the most magical person that he had ever met and probably ever meet. It was intriguing. He'd have to stop by again, just to talk to the old man, without Slimy and Fur ball hovering.

Just then the door swung open admitting a bouncing eleven- year old girl. She had long wavy black hair and was wearing a muggle white T-shirt and jeans.

Bond felt like- for some odd reason- that he knew her.

When she looked at him with her pale jade-green eyes he knew why, getting a huge wave of shock that nearly knocked him flat.

"_Selynda!"_

Selynda grinned cockily at him. _"Sophos!"_

"Wha- How-?"

"Magic."

Sophos looked at her for a second, blinking rapidly. "Of course. How_ silly_ of me. Never would have guessed it."

Selynda rolled her eyes. "No need to be sarcastic. I was offered a chance by the nasty Goober Babies. We'll talk later. For now, let's just say it hurt. A lot. I _better_ get some butterflies after all that pain, Sophos." She added fiercely at this, looking at him like McGonagall.

"Selynda," Sophos said exasperated, "People don't just _eat _butterflies."

"Yes they do." She protested stubbornly. "French people eat _snails_. Why can't I have some butterflies? It probably tastes better, too."

"It's illegal."

"It's only illegal if you get caught. Besides, muggles catch them all the time with _butterfly nets_. What if some five year-old ate a butterfly without anyone seeing? They wouldn't know. And really, how is it illegal?" Selynda crossed her arms- _arms!_- over her chest.

"They're an endangered species."

Selynda scowled at him. "Yeah, well, _I'm_ even more endangered and I don't see any national protection for me! And, anyways, wouldn't it just be _types _of butterflies and not _all _of them? Get me a common one. _And don't tell me_ that's not how you get butterflies in your stomach! How_ else_ would you?"

Sophos sighed. This was ridiculous. "It's just an expression. It doesn't actually mean that you _eat _butterflies."

Selynda shook her head stubbornly. "No, I don't believe that." She glared at him. "If you don't get me some later then _I'll_ be the one chopping off your head with a clock."

Sophos stifled a snort. Why couldn't she at least _try_ to be rational about some things? But really there was no point in arguing… not to mention how horribly funny it would be, watching her swallow a bug.

"Fine. I'll go catch some pretty insects for you and you can tell be what they feel like."

Selynda smiled cheerfully. "Yah! And then _you _can have some butterflies!"

"No thanks." Sophos said deadpanned. "I am unable to stomach something as repulsive as that."

Selynda rolled her eyes and was about to retort when Ollivander cut her off.

"Well, now that everyone is here we can get started! What are your wand arms?"

Selynda looked confused and nervous, glancing at Sophos for help.

"We're ambidextrous." Sophos spoke swiftly, without hesitation.

Ollivander didn't look so surprised. "Yes, yes, very impressive. I believe that you two will be fairly difficult. You especially, Miss. Pomiodes. "

Selynda nodded in agreement while Sophos looked at her curiously. Why Pomiodes? Did it have something to do with Slytherin as the legends say that snakes deprived from the family- or that that was where the wizards of that ancestry such as Salazar came from? Sophos narrowed his eyes in thought. Looking at Selynda, he'd say that the snakes came first, before the wizards ever existed. It made the most sense. Because Parseltongue had to have come from somewhere and-

Sophos was distracted out of his musings as two tape measures suddenly sprung up and started to measure the length from his shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head. He wondered vaguely if it was just a distraction or if it was actually collecting important data.

Ollivander started telling Sophos and Selynda about the cores of the wands and the woods that the store held. Sophos remember his words, _"- it's really the wand that chooses the wizard, of course."_ It sounded like he was talking about a sentimental being. Perhaps he was. Sophos eyed some of the boxes shrewdly. Wands channeled magic- people channeled magic. Wands had magical items for cores, making them have a foundation of magic to be able to accept and expel more. People had magic in their cores form heredity giving them the same foundation. Magical creatures, too. It made sense. He made a mental note to ask Selynda more about Wand Lore, which he doubted she knew much about. Looks like he really was going to stop by again.

"- And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."

"Whys that?" Sophos asked before he could stop himself. "Obliviously the wand didn't choose them, so I guess it wouldn't really… The wand wouldn't really like them, I suppose. But can't- I don't know- another wand end up liking a different person- master? You know, like a human. I might like someone today, but in a few years I could end up hating them, right? Do wands act like that if they're mistreated, or do they grow with their master and end up being something of an extension to them? Does the person have a special 'gift' or something, like being magically attuned to the magical creature that is in their core and is it the same with the trees? And why would it bend to the will of another person, if it's not _their _person? Or is it because that the magic _has_ to come out because it's being forced into itself that the least that it can try to do is make it weaker? What-"

"Really, Potter," Snape said snidely, a superior sneer etched on his face, "Enough with your prattle. You obliviously have no idea what you're talking about. It is an inanimate object, not a person. Stop your childish dreams. We don't have time for you to ask meaningless questions."

Sophos couldn't help but glare. "Excuse me, _professor_. I was under the impression that '_the wand chooses the wizard_.' Are you contradicting a Master of Wand Lore? Funny, I thought you taught _potions_. Why ever are you wasting your time wiping snot off of children's faces when you could be delving into the deepest secrets of Magick?"

"_Why you_-" Snape started a snarl on his face but he was interrupted.

"_Yes_, Mr. Bond, you seem to have an excellent grasp on the subject and on Magick itself! I think that we can expect great things from _you_, Sophos. Few understand anything to do with Magick even after all those years of schooling."

Ollivander was beaming, looking almost proud. He was peering intently at Sophos. Sophos felt smug. Especially with the look on Snape's face- it was hysterical. Good thing he wasn't alone with the man, he'd probably be dead by now.

"Now," Sophos suddenly realized that the tape measure was measuring between his nostrils. "That will do." Both Sophos' and Selynda's tapes crumpled to their feet.

Then he was pulling out boxes after boxes, stuffing wands into Selynda's and Sophos hand. Each waved the sticks around, feeling foolish. They each felt slightly guilty at the raising degrees of damage they were inflicting on the room. They were breaking vases and lamps, knocking over shelves, setting fires…

Ollivander didn't seem to mind- in fact he looked downright giddy. He got happier and happier as the wands piled up on the spindly chair. Sophos and Selynda exchanged hopeless looks. They seemed to have tried almost every wand in the shop. Maybe neither would get a wand- Sophos because he was so attuned to Wandless and Selynda because she was really a snake. How would they explain this at Hogwarts? Sophos didn't even know and could barely imagine how Selynda could possibly go there as human as he was still trying to wrap his head around the concept. It was _a lot _to take in.

Almost as if reading their thoughts, Ollivander said with a grin, "Tricky customers, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect matches here somewhere- I wonder, now- yes, why not- unusual combination- holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."

Ollivander held the wand out to Sophos which he took without much enthusiasm. He felt a sudden warmth in his finger. He knew what it was. Magic. And it was singing.

It was an unearthly tune that he couldn't make out that seemed to go down into his core- even deeper, his very soul- causing his bones to rattle his heart of hammer and his eyes go wide. It felt as though he became a human bell that was just wrung, vibrating from within.

Instinct cause him to bring th-_ his_ wand above his head swishing it down in a single stroke through the dusty air that sent light of ever color streaming out like a firework, throwing dancing spots of Magick onto the wall. Wind picked up in the shop, raising everyone's hair and causing their robes to swirl around their bodies arithmetically. The floors shook slightly with a deep rumble like Earth was singing along with the wand. Candle's flames flare up to unnatural heights. Off into the distance you could hear water rushing.

Ollivander was clapping and Selynda was cheering. The professors just gaped.

"Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good. Well, well, well… how curious… how very curious…"

Ollivander took the wand from Sophos, wrapping it up in brown paper, still muttering, "Curious… curious…"

"What's curious, sir?" Sophos said dreamily, not really paying attention, still trying to right himself after the amazing experience that he just went through. Selynda sniggered.

The old man fixed Sophos with his pale stare."I remember every wand I've ever sold, Sophos. Ever single wand. It so happened that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather- just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother- why, its brother gave you that scar."

"Really?" Selynda and Sophos asked together equally curious like Ollivander instead of repulsed.

"That actually makes sense, I suppose…" Sophos trailed off, thinking.

"Yeah. Why else would he bother hunting you down when you were a baby unless you were a threat? Obviously, you're a lot like him- or a complete opposite of him, which I doubt."

Ollivander bowed his head in agreement. "Yes, sounds most probable. I have said this before, but I truly believe that you will be great, whether you want to be or not. Great things, Master Sophos, great things…"

Sophos couldn't help a shiver that racked his body. What did he mean, '_whether you want to be or not'_? Ollivander_ knew_ things, Sophos could tell. He was giving Sophos a surreptitious warning saying that he would end up doing something extremely bad or extremely good, but the choice was whether he did it on his own terms or someone else's.

He already knew the answer. Didn't he- years ago- promise that he wasn't going to bend to the whim of someone else? Hadn't he promised that he wasn't going to be controlled and if anyone was going to be pulling the strings it was going to be him?

He was going to follow through. _Of course _he was. So why was his stomach clenching like a fist and his heart going to his throat?

Sophos pulled out of his thoughts as Selynda grabbed onto his upper arm and dragged him along as she followed Ollivander into the back room while he called over his shoulder, "Sorry, only two at a time!"

That's when they really got to work.

Instead of pulling out wands, Ollivander lead the over to a wall that had pockets of ingredients stuffed in.

"Just go up to the items that feel right, Miss Slytherin."

Selynda nodded happily but stopped before she reached the wall and turned to him with a skeptical look on her face. Sophos suddenly realized that Selynda looked _a lot _like him- she could pass as his twin. _Maybe _not identical, but it was close. He also noticed the, 'Miss Slytherin.'

"Can we each have two wands? Much more convenient."

Ollivander got an excited look in his eye. "Yes, of course, why didn't I think of it? Go on, both of you! It will take time, of course-"

"No problem."

Ollivander nodded cheerfully and ushered them forward. Sophos wondered what it'd be like to get a _personal _wand. It was already so much when it wasn't…

Sophos let his magic stretch out. It felt good, like waking up in the morning. He immediately got a 'pull' to Ebony wood that was jet black with gray streaks through it. Selynda got that, too. Sophos got 'dragged' to a container that said, 'Limbus,' whatever that was. He couldn't decide if it was a gas or liquid or solid. He shrugged and moved on, making a note to ponder it later.

Sophos then got a 'pull' to some liquid that was inky black in a vial. The label made Sophos eyes widen. Basilisk Venom. He got over his shock and moved on to another liquid, pearly white this time. He almost died when he read, 'Phoenix Tears.' _What in Gods name_ was he doing with _two completely different_ substances on the spectrum? _Shesha_!

His last stop was a long gray feather that shimmered sliver. Sophos died all over again. _Shadow Phoenix_. Where on _Earth_ did Ollivander even get it? They haven't been seen for centuries!

Sophos, in a state of deep astonishment and confusion, walked- more like lurched- back over to Ollivander and hollowly gave him the ingredients. Ollivander was thrilled. Sophos barely noticed.

Selynda ended up with Purpleheart and Ebony wood (which Sophos wasn't the least bit surprised- Selynda always loved purple), Basilisk Venom, Elixir of Life, Limbus, Thestral Hair and Shadow Unicorn Hair (which Selynda found highly amusing as both were a kind of horse and horses were terrified of snakes- or at least skittish). Sophos felt dizzy. Elixir of Life then thestral and _shadow _unicorn hair? Shesha. Holy. Shesha.

"Well, I'll have all three done within a month. Is that alright?"

Sophos nodded dumbly while Selynda was bouncing with excitement. Sophos tried to make sense of his life at the moment and came up blank.

He concluded that he was insane and should just roll with it.

Even so, Sophos couldn't help but be dazed as he and Selynda joined the professors after they paid for their wands. He was going to take his Holly with him today instead of having Ollivander send it with the rest.

Selynda skipped off saying a vague excuse as Sophos, Snape and McGonagall made their way to the Leaky Caldron for a bite.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos was greeted by Tom again not seeming to hold a grudge for causing his pub to evacuate. It was full again, none seeming to recognize him. Maybe they weren't the same people. Sophos couldn't remember.

McGonagall kept looking at Sophos worriedly as Snape snuck glances. The boy was quiet again, looking as shy as he did when both first met him hours ago.

"Is something wrong, Mr. P-Bond?" McGonagall asked tentatively.

Sophos blinked dazedly. "No. I guess I'm a bit overwhelmed."

"Potter, will you stop talking like that!" Snape snapped snidely.

"That's how I talk."

"You were talking normally before."

"No I wasn't. I was faking before."

Snape sneered. "And why would you do that?"

"Because, professor, I thought it was amusing."

Snape scowled and opened his mouth to say something nasty when McGonagall intervened.

"Why do you have an American accent when you live in Britain and Surry for that matter?"

Sophos shrugged. "I picked it up from Selynda and it won't go away. She doesn't shut up. Didn't you notice?"

McGonagall frowned. "Yes, I suppose she did talk like that."

"Hmm? I meant, didn't you notice how she talks a lot? I learned to tune her out a long time ago."

McGonagall shook her head, the corners of her mouth upraised slightly.

"Why does your aunt not know about Miss. Pomiodes?" Snape throw at the boy.

"Because Selynda thinks she's too clean and doesn't want to interact with someone like that, sir."

"_What_?"

"What, what? I wish that people would stop asking that. It isn't very specific."

"Why does the goblins and Mr. Ollivander call you, 'Sophos'?" McGonagall cut Snape off. There really was no point in questioning the boy once he gave an answer, even if it was illogical and crazy.

Sophos shrugged a bit helplessly. "Selynda had always called me that, but I don't understand how _they_ knew that, professor. I guess it's just magic," his lips quirked a little.

The conversation drifted off into vague comments on Hogwarts and after that Snape and McGonagall came to a silent agreement that they just weren't getting any answers.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

After Sophos watched his instructors disappear around the corner he raced upstairs ignoring Aunt Petunia who opened her mouth to ask something.

He burst through the door and spotted Selynda splayed out on the bed as a human, reading a book. She smiled her cocky smile at him and put a finger to her lips with a significant look out the door.

He quickly and quietly closed it and spun around to face his familiar that was now a human. "Explain."

* * *

_Oh, don't kill me! _

_I know, I know, what was I thinking? Well… I got the idea in my head one day and couldn't get it out. I just couldn't see Selynda stuck in a room all day while Sophos out on amazing adventures. She's such an important part of the story and one of the main characters- so how could I just shove her away?_

_Anyway, I know that Harry met Draco before he went anywhere else- whatever. Harry was done before Draco so I figured I could keep him longer if I wanted. I actually almost forgot to add that in. _

_Oh, and no, I really have no clue how to talk in Old English, so if that paragraph made no sense, to you ignore it, I'll just have Sophos explain his books normally. _

_Also, I really am sorry this took so long. I had so many things to do and my sisters were hogging the computer so it took awhile. Oh, and sorry it's like ten thousand something words._

_Tell me what you think! You can criticize me, I know, I deserve it :D_

_xo- Vayah_


	6. Unhelpful Fakers

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

* * *

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 5: Unhelpful Fakers_

_

* * *

_

_A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity,_

_the one person with the keys to one's unfettered,_

_more fundamental self._

_~Marian Sandmaier_

* * *

If Arabella Figg was to go over to Number Four Private Drive, climb up the brick wall and peer into Harry Potter's bedroom, she'd probably have a heart attack.

Of course, her assumption would be entirely wrong.

It, although, didn't exactly look _too_ innocent. But, the old bag should really get her head out of the gutter if she thought what she hadn't seen had been anything more then two children exhausted from talking straight through the night.

As it was, the two children somehow ended up sleeping right on each other. The eleven year-old girl had her head on the other eleven year-old's chest, her leg flung over his waist. The boy's head was lolled to the side, resting on top of the girl's hair while one of his arms were wrapped around her back and his other hand was rested on the hand she had by her face.

If it wasn't Arabella Figg and it was Minerva McGonagall or even the deceased Lily Potter they would have said it looked like puppies that took a nap with their sibling. Which it practically was. Just not as dogs.

Funny what just a drop of Harry Potter's blood could do.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Last Night…  
_

"Explain."

"Explain what, oh brother of mine?" Selynda asked cheekily.

Sophos glared. "You know what. How the _Hell _are you human?" he wasn't entirely sure if he was awake or not. It was too surreal.

"Oh, but that's so long! Why don't I tell you about a lovely owl that-"

"I don't care!"

"But-"

Sophos didn't want a 'but.' He was tired and confused and _not in the mood_ for some insane story that would preoccupy the whole night. "No! No, no, no! I-"

"Okay, okay," Selynda said exasperated. "Keep your panties on. Where do you want me to start?"

"How. Are. You. Human."

"Goblins. Blood. Ritual." Selynda said curtly, imitating Sophos right down to his narrowed eyes and growl in his voice.

Sophos locked his glare with his should-be-snake-familiar, lip curling involuntarily. Whatever his gaze held, Selynda seemed to cringe away from it.

He briefly felt guilt seep through this stomach and covered it up by stomping over to the bed and plunking down angrily.

She sighed. "Griphook brought me into some room where they could translate what I said. It wouldn't have worked if I couldn't speak Gobbledegook because... Whoa! That's such a weird word! It's like-" Selynda abruptly cut off her excited rant at the look Sophos gave her. "I mean… because Sna- I mean, Parseltongue is one of the Forbidden Languages according to-"

"What? What's Parseltongue?"

"That's our language- Snaketongue. I didn't know it was called something else in English. I already tried to say Parseltongue in Parseltongue. You can't. Sort of ironic, but that's part of why it's under the Forbidden."

"So… so I'd be called a Parselmouth?"

"I guess. Anyway, I had to talk in Gobbledegook so it could be translated. They did the history tests for your blood and the basic magical evaluations so you can go to Hogwarts. If you want a more detailed one, like to see what abilities you have, we're suppose to owl them in two days. Then they noticed that you had something that made sliver and violet flecks in your blood…"

It took a second for Sophos to absorb what she was saying. "You."

"Yup," Selynda said smugly. "Me. They knew that I was your familiar the second that they saw me- and that you said that in the letter you wrote-but only the most powerful of wizards and witches Blood Bond with their animal so they were really shocked. Cool, huh? I didn't even realize!"

Sophos was lost. "Blood Bond?"

Selynda stopped her grinning and looked intently at him. Sophos never liked it when she was being completely serious and sane at the same time- it was weird.

"When both the wizard and beast treat each other as equals and share their Magick through complete trust does the bond form. That's why we can read each others emotions if we try hard enough. They're only about three in every four centuries. Normally it takes years. And when I say _years_, I mean like eighty."

"Okay," Sophos said shifting uneasily. This was not helping his guilt factor. "So what does our Blood Bond have to do with you turning human?"

Selynda smirked, dropping the tension. "Oh, well, if your blood has my blood then that mean I have your blood so that means..."

Sophos looked at her uncomprehending while his brain, which he had so thoughtfully shoved away, sneered at him, the message clearly, _you're an idiot! It isn't _that_ hard to figure out. _Think_, you dimwit!_

"Ah…" Is what he said.

Selynda rolled her eyes. "Hello? Do I have to spell it out? It means that we are considered relatives, magical and non-magical. And it means that you really are my younger brother- ignoring that we were species apart. The goblins gave me an option where I can protect you at all times without hiding. You already saw me as a person, unlike a lot of humans, so now I_ can_ be a human."

Sophos looked at her, blinking slowly. Because he thought of her as a person instead of some pet… she could be human? That made no sense.

"Can't other animals change into humans with whatever ritual you did? I mean, I don't get it. Why-?"

"It's magic, Sophos, and not just magic I mean _Magick_. It doesn't care if some random mouse wants to be top of the food chain and some five year-old wants a human friend. Dark Magick depends on Sacrifice, Will, Connections, and Earth. We have the Blood Bond for connection. The sacrifice was that I am now unable to pass on my gifts other than Parseltongue because now the Basilisk and Wonambi part of me is now my Animagus form- mostly. The will came from my desire to be there for you at all times. I wouldn't be able to do that if I was still a snake- I'd have to hide. From Old Beard, Bat Grease, Cat Lady, Moldy shorts and everyone! If you were in real, real trouble I wouldn't be able to help at all! Now I can. And I will."

Sophos and Selynda stared at each other in silence. At that moment Sophos just couldn't find the words to tell her just how much she meant to him. So he ended up sounding idiotic.

"Thanks…you didn't have to… So what's with 'Pomiodes?'" He blurted out.

Selynda suddenly beamed at him. "Purple!"

"What?"

"Well, I combined the word 'purple' in Latin and Greek and I got Pomiodes! Do you like it?"

"Err, yeah. What's your whole name suppose to be?"

"Selynda Alexa Pomiodes. The goblins had the original Hogwarts list with them for security reasons so they added it. Now it's tucked safely away from human eyes- as in Dumbledore. It should appear on the copy list at the school. Best part is, is that if anyone noticed it they couldn't do anything about it because it says that I accepted and will be attending. Good, huh? And my _real _name won't show up. Want to hear my real,_ real_ name? Yours too?"

Sophos cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean 'real, real name?'"

Selynda had a smirk worthy of a snotty pureblood. "Our full name. Magical Names, whatever you want to call it. It's_ really_ long!"

"Sure."

"Mine is, Selynda Alexa Zaria Sheikra Potter Pomiodes Slytherin. I know," She said at the look on his face. "Long. Yours is separate, sorta. I guess you can combine it. First you have your normal, Harry James Potter. Then you have, Sophos Avalon Thanatos Slytherin. Fitting, I think. You could have had the name Gryffindor or Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, but because you're a Parseltongue you're automatically part of the serpent family. Magick apparently chooses who gets the gift. Your mother wasn't chosen. You-"

"Hold it! Hold. On. _What are you talking about_?"

Selynda's smile was sly and her eyes impish. "Oh my. I didn't mention it sooner? You're heir to all four founders. Secondary to Slytherin, of course, as Riddle is still alive. Can you get me some water?" She asked innocently at the gaping eleven-year old.

This was one of those moments where Sophos wished he could throttle her.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Next Morning…  
_

Minerva McGonagall was on her way, walking briskly as she always done even when she was a student herself, to the Headmaster's office. He'd tried to have a meeting with her and Severus last night but they were both just so exhausted from the outing with Harry Po- _ahem_- James Bond, that they were in no mood to deal with the barmy old coot and told him outright. The look on his face was priceless and Minerva would have found it amusing if she hadn't been so irritable.

She said the password, 'York Peppermint Patty,' whatever that was and stepped onto the spiral staircase. Minerva raised her hand to knock, knowing it was pointless, and let an annoyed sigh when Dumbledore told her, 'Come in, Minerva.' After that being done more times then she could count, it really got old. Not for the last time did she wonder how he did it.

Minerva swept in, noticing that Severus already had taking his seat with a scowl on his face. Nothing new.

"Lemon drop?" He asked holding out a container.

Severus and Minerva exchanged annoyed looks. They felt like they've done that forever.

"_Do_ get on with it, Headmaster, we haven't got all day."

The reason was not that the words had been said but who they had been said by the shocked Albus Dumbledore. After the spending a day of listening to James Bond talk nonstop Minerva didn't want to hear any small talk or distractions.

"Well," Albus said, obliviously taken aback, "You have gone to collect Harry Potter, correct?"

"What kind of question is _that_?" Minerva snapped. James Bond had pointed out more then once how silly and pointless some questions were and now she saw he was absolutely right. What would he get out of asking if they took the Boy-Who-Lived to Diagon Ally if he already knew it? "Yes, we have. Do you care to elaborate or are you just going to ask if we went shopping yesterday? I can assure you, Albus, that we _did_. Now if you'd be so kind to get to the meaning of the meeting so we can do our jobs."

Severus Snape was having a hard time not laughing. Potter had worn both his and Minerva's patience to the limit, yes, but watching the old cat practically scolding the greatest wizard of the age was hilarious, not mentioning Albus' dumbstruck expression.

"Well… What do you think of him?"

Minerva spoke swiftly and smoothly, ready to get this over with. "Harry Potter is a bright young man that loves books as we could tell as that was what he was doing when he arrived and by the amount he bought at Flourish and Blotts. He has an outstanding vocabulary for someone his age and I'm sure he loves to confuse people even if it doesn't seem that way."

Minerva continued "He's obliviously going to be a powerful wizard if his Accidental Magic is anything to go by. He is an enigma straight through- I have no idea what his personality is really like whether it is the shy polite boy we first met or the mayhem raising, insane, talkative beast that we dealt with for the rest of the day. He is completely unpredictable to a point where I'd say he is the most brilliant child that I have ever laid eyes on.

"Not only that," Minerva ranted, "but apparently his aunt is convinced that he doesn't have any friends and is maybe bullied or the bully but we saw his friend that he mentioned in passing in the beginning of the day. She seemed just as insane if not more so and less rational then Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter also insisted to the whole lot at the Leaky Caldron that his name was really James Bond and continued with it for the rest of the day. He talked with Draco Malfoy about how Hufflepuff were the best house and how both wanted to go there. He might have caused Quirrell to lose whatever confidence he still possessed and is somehow friendly with the goblins who- with Mr. Ollivander- call him 'Sophos' which was an invention by Miss. Pomiodes- Potter's friend. Potter apparently had no clue how they knew him by that."

Minerva spoke drily and a tab bit hysterically, "He has an American accent that he was covering up the in beginning of the day. Oh, and he has a morbid fear of being touched. Did I miss anything, Severus?"

"He enjoys rambling out nonsense that is actually riddles if you have any idea what it's about."

Neither Minerva McGonagall nor Severus Snape has ever seen such an expression on Albus Dumbledore's face. Minerva didn't even think that his precious lemon drops- which she was sure were laced with Calming Draught- could help him now.

"Is that all?" Minerva and Severus asked in unison.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Three days later_…

"_Pleeeasssse_!"

"No!"

"But I wanna go!"

"I don't care!"

"But I_ have_ to go!"

"_Why_?"

"_Because I want to_!"

Sophos once thought that he had seen Selynda at her most annoying, but he was wrong. Apparently gaining limbs and a warm body made a cold-blood reptile an absolute nausea to be around.

She wanted to go shopping. Again.

Sophos had been dragged to literally fifty different clothing and furniture stores in the last three days. It didn't help that they both were the richest people in the Wizarding World. And Muggle World. And everything in between.

Sophos was still getting use to that. Sure, Selynda always had claimed that the Potters were one of the well off families in Britain. He could have dealt with that. But it was the fact that he wasn't _only_ the Heir to the Potter fortune.

He also happened to be Heir to seven of the most powerful families in existence- including the Potters that is. Normally, Selynda wouldn't actually have any claim on anything but as she was his familiar and now… his blood sister.

_Funny _how things work out, huh? _One speck _of blood was able to provide a whole history and able to create a _whole being_ for a _snake_ and make the _snake their Animagus form_! Now that stupid snake_ won't shut up_.

So, that same stupid snake that won't shut up now won't stop spending on pointless things that they can get any day. Not only that, if she doesn't stop then they won't have _anything _left!

Well, that's what he told her. He didn't see the point in telling her that with all the investments, stock and ownership of lands and shops and whateverelse that they could do what she's doing for five decades without seeing any definite drops in their account. Oh well. Better off with is than without it that. Right.

(That was Selynda's favorite saying and Sophos had yet to decipher what it actually meant.)

It would have worked. If the goblins haven't already told her that. Damn.

Sophos smirked at the thought of Voldemort's face when he realized that he practically controls Hogwarts, the Ministry of Magic… oh, and the International Confederation of Wizards. Nothing big.

Okay, so he had to wait until he was of age and was sworn into his seats by seven Lords or Ladies before he had any _minimal_ hand in _anything_. Then it'd take years of being a Good Samaritan and win over practically every family who had seat… Which he didn't plan on doing (Especially the _good_ part as he was sure he'd get arrested at least five times), but it was good to know that if they (Voldemort and Sophos) decided to duel it out in politics, Sophos had a better change.

But none of that changed the fact that they weren't just rolling or swimming in dough, they were drowning in it.

More accurately, Sophos was drowning in it. Snakes apparently seemed to be buoyant to an extreme. That caused Sophos to decide that throwing Selynda in the Great Lake was a great idea and that she'd love to be eaten by the Giant Squid or be dinner to a bunch of hungry Merepeople. He'd still have lovely Hedwig to keep him company.

(Selynda bought her as a birthday present for Sophos which didn't really count as one because she claimed as much ownership to the owl as he did)

Of course, they had a limit to the amount they could spend a year and for which vaults, but Selynda didn't seem to notice or care.

Sophos lost his train of thought as he was suddenly caught off guard as Selynda unexpectedly tackled his, legs around his waist with her fingers painfully entangled in his hair, using his weight against him causing him to crash into the wall. Pain exploded behind his eyes and he couldn't breathe for a moment, not helped by the extra weight of an eleven-year old on top of his ribcage.

"We. Are. Going. To. IKEA! And, _dammit_, you better get me butterflies soon!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_September 1__st_

_8:45am_

_Dursley's Car, King Cross Station  
_

"Sign here. Oh, and it will hurt a bit."

_**Petunia Evans Dursley**_ appeared on the back of her, her nephew's and her unknown niece's hand.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_10:41am  
_

Sophos and Selynda were drawing some funny looks.

It might have been because they weren't attended by an adult.

It might have been because they appeared out of nowhere in the middle of King Cross Station.

Or, most likely, it was their attire that made people stop and stare or the more amusing case of running into a fat man, tripping over luggage, and falling head first into a garbage can.

Sophos was wearing handcrafted, aged looking tricorn hat, with a dark red bandanna (not that you could see it except for the back) underneath. He was wearing a white gauze shirt with an unbuttoned vest with loose brown pants and boots and two belts completed with a sash over his waist. He also had a real cutlass, and pistol (very real- with only one shot) and a hidden compass that doesn't point north. Sophos also had kohl around his eyes.

Selynda on the other hand was wearing a long-sleeved shiny black body suit with a leather corset and gauntlets. She also wore tall black boots with heavy looking buckles at the top and stashed daggers. On leg holsters on both sides she had Walter P99 guns loaded with real sliver bullets. She was also wearing a long black leather coat. Her hair was long and wavy, shiny black with a few white highlights (she refused to cut it deciding that she was going to be a bit different from the character she was portraying because she wouldn't be able to stand being in Vampire Mode for very long).

They wanted to make a dramatic entrance.

They did.

If the guards noticed the weapons they didn't do anything about it, perhaps assuming they weren't real and just gawked at the children like everyone else.

They had actually watched the surroundings, looking for potential Old Beard Spies before they Shimmered in (Selynda got the idea of how to Teleport in a better way then Apparating from _Charmed_, her favorite show). The spies (they presumed) were a family of red heads. It was pretty easy to spot as the mother called out the question of what the platform number was even though they obviously been through many times. It also had something to do with the fact that the mother (with her young daughter firmly in her grasp) didn't follow her sons in, peering through the crowds, until the daughter- Ginny her mom called her- was in tears, afraid she was going to miss the train's departure.

It helped that Sophos had gabbed his finger at the clock making the big hand go dangerously close to the number twelve while the little hand almost to eleven.

Now, as Sophos swaggered and Selynda strode purposely through the station, they gradually cast a Notice-Me-Not Charm making more and more heads turn reluctantly away.

No one saw them go through the barrier between 9 and 10 and onto Platform 9 and ¾.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos suddenly decided that he _really _didn't want to go to Hogwarts.

It wasn't because he didn't want to learn magic that Selynda didn't know or didn't want to get away from the Dursley's or gather information about Voldemort.

It was because all these annoying snot-nosed kids were _loud_. And _annoying!_

Sure, Aunt Petunia was just playing it up, but there really was some truth in what she said. He didn't really want to make friends- just didn't see the point- and he really hated loud people. Besides Selynda, of course.

Sophos grimaced as he took in all the noise and people making it.

"Oh,_ Neville_."

"Give us a look, Lee, go on!"

"You'll be _brilliant_, Hermione! Try to surface from your books every-"

"_Dad_! Where's my wand!"

"_Jimmy_! Don't you dare-!"

"Mudbloods- the lot of them."

"Just stay away from Snape, he'll leave you alone if-"

"Aaah, has ickle Ronnie got somefink on his nosie?"

"Mum! Go away, my friends are coming!"

"I _swear to Merlin_, if you get one more detention-!"

Sophos looked up, startled, as someone ran into him.

The girl landed with an _oomph_, spitting out red hair out of her mouth. Ginny. Possibly a Weasley if the hair was anything to go by (Selynda got _Nature's Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy_ on one of her outings a year or so ago- just how she got it was a mystery to Sophos as she was still a snake. That's how they knew Draco was a Malfoy).

"Oh, sorry." Sophos apologized, not really meaning it but putting on a guilty look, holding out his hand to her.

She took it standing up saying, "It's okay, I wasn't watching were I was…"

That moment Sophos Avalon Thanatos Slytherin would remember for the rest of his life. As a jumble of confusion and feathers.

The second that Sophos looked into Ginny's bright, light brown eyes it felt like he was zapped with a lightning bolt.

(If Sophos had looked over his shoulder he would have realized that some fourth year tripped and the Zonko products the kid was holding hit his and Ginny's side)

Feathers exploded around Sophos and Ginny and the smoke from the train parted over both of their heads washing them in sunlight.

(That same fourth year fell into some other kid and that kid's trunk knocked into an owl cage and that owl cage hit another one ejecting a poor owl right up through the smog, sending feathers everywhere)

The smoke billowed around Sophos and Ginny, making it seem as though they were the only people on the platform.

(A man had pulled out his wand and blasted the feathers away from him because he was violently allergic to birds)

Then it was over and Sophos and Ginny started at each other, both utterly bewildered at what happened.

"…going." Ginny finished.

"Right… Um. Sorry. Bye."

"Um…" She said, taking in his outfit with a raised eyebrow, a small smile twitching on her lips. "Yeah. Bye."

Both started to leave until they realized they were going the same way. They exchanged ironic sort of grins.

"If you were going this way, how did you walk into me?"

Ginny flushed. "I was looking for Percy- my brother. He left to go with the perfects and I forgot to tell him something."

"You could still go see him."

"No, it wasn't so important. I was following him before, but now I can't see him. I'll owl him."

"Oh," Sophos frowned and glanced around through the sea of monk- ah- students. "Actually, I think I lost my sister."

"Older?"

"Very. I guess you could call us twins."

Ginny's eyebrows quirked but didn't question it. "Is she a pirate, too?"

Sophos laughed a little. At least some purebloods could notice the obvious. "No. She's an immortal Death Dealer."

Ginny frowned in confusion and her eyes became wary. "Death Eater?"

Sophos shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. It's from a movie. Muggle thing."

Ginny nodded her expression clearing.

Before anything else can be said Selynda suddenly slammed into Sophos' back making him have to fling his arms out so he didn't break his nose. He glared up at her, standing up, as he pretended to dust off his vest.

"Well, that was terribly rude."

Selynda shrugged unconcernedly and said brightly "Hi, Ginny! I see you've met my brother dearest."

Ginny looked at her incredulously. "How did you know my name?"

"Oh, we heard your mother before. I'm Selynda, by the way, and he's Sophos- I'm sure he hasn't told you. But, we really have to go- write to us! If you don't within a week, we'll write to you. Bye!"

Selynda grabbed onto Sophos puffy sleeve and dragged him away before he or Ginny could say anything.

"What was _that_?"

"What? She seemed nice- we might as well write to her."

"She's one of Old Beard's spies!"

"_You're_ the one who was talking to her first. How did that happen, anyways?"

"She crashed into me."

Selynda stared at him as they hopped into the train. "How? Didn't you still have your charms up?"

"I don't know," He admitted. "I was getting distracted by all the noise."

She rolled her eyes. "Looks like Giraffe was right. Of course _you'd_ get fussy over a crowd- I think you need a nap. "

Sophos jaw twitched in irritation. Selynda was definitely going to get a bug down her throat tomorrow. It didn't help that he actually _wanted _that nap. Damn Snake.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_8:41am_

_Headmasters Office, Hogwarts  
_

An old man sat at his desk, sucking a lemon drop as he flipped through a muggle magazine. He had a stressful month of trying to understand a certain coming first year but Minerva and Severus were tight-lipped about him after their first conversation- if you could call it that. They also refused to show him their memories of the day. It was _maddening_.

But from what Albus Dumbledore could understand from the information presented was that he'd have to watch Harry Potter- even more so than he planned- in case his fears were justified. Could the soul of Tom Riddle- that had latched onto the boy on that Halloween night- be taking over the innocent child?

That had to be it. He had set up every possible situation so that Harry could grow up- if slightly neglected- so that he could be strong, just, noble and wary of the, ah, _less than_ Light sort. He'd have a good heart, completely pure and disgusted at anything evil and cruel like the Dark Arts.

Albus Dumbledore nervously stroked his beard. Was it safe to have him around the other students?

Possibly not. But_ if_ the boy was acting strangely, surely a fellow classmate would report it. They could also teach Harry the love of friendship and _that_ could repel the dark taint Tom took hold on his mind. All for the Greater Good.

Albus Dumbledore winced slightly. That old saying hurt. To him it was different then the meaning to his friend who unfortunately stumble down the wrong path. But it was a comfort to know that the guards have said that Gellert shows possible remorse. Also, keeping Harry Potter safe and happy, _gently _pushing him down the right road would bring peace and the Light to all. It had to be done- even if it did jeopardize other innocents. The prophecy was more important.

Albus Dumbledore was abruptly shocked out of his thoughts at a high, keening sound. The alarm was shrieking from one of the many sliver instruments on the self behind his desk.

Dumbledore sprang up with surprising agility for his old age (which he carefully conceals so no one is concerned for his health) and hurried to the wailing statue that looks vaguely like a lily flower that was emitting red smoke which was the warning that the wards around Number Four Privet Drive had failed.

Dumbledore panicked for a moment before he realized the problem. He felt silly for worrying. Of course the wards would go down- he should have anticipated it. Harry would be leaving for Hogwarts- perhaps a little early- so naturally the Blood Wards wouldn't hold up while the boy wasn't there. He'd have to restore the protection for the summer holidays when Harry would go back.

Satisfied, old man waved his wand over the screaming device, canceling the blaring noise that truly showed the end to Harry Potter's life living with his muggle relatives. If only Albus Dumbledore was more humble and intuitive he would have realized that even the youngest of children _could_ outwit the most powerful wizard at large. If only he didn't believe that_ nothing_ could slip away right under his nose would he, perhaps, still hold partial control over the life of the Boy-Who-Lived. But he wasn't. He didn't. And he would_ never_ be able to direct the events that Sophos Slytherin was about to cause.

Albus Dumbledore better hope that Madam Pomfrey can save him from all the heart attacks that were surely on the way.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_11: 37am_

_On the Hogwarts Train  
_

Sitting a compartment, staring out of the window watching as fields and trees whip by, was a delighted muggleborn by the name of Hermione Granger; soon to be the most brilliant witch and best student of the century at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Or so she thought.

She'd never admit it out loud, but she knew she was smarter than all the children her age. Hermione took pride in the fact that she could read more, learn more and just be better at practically everything, exceeding all the adults could throw at her. She followed the rules, worked hard and strived to achieve even above then her best.

But all in all, she was rather lonely.

It would be nice to have friends- she never seemed to relate to anyone in her generation, whether they be popular, normal, geek or freaks. Yes, she knew perfectly well that she was somewhat of a loner. But only_ somewhat _because she _did _try to play nice and make conversation even if they seemed cold.

But even if she _didn't _make any friends at Hogwarts then she'd be okay because she was use to it. She didn't really need any friends, either. It'd just be nice. She'd have her books and studies and that was enough. Especially because it was _magic_!

Very strange things would happen around Hermione, but only occasionally. She never _dreamed _that something as illogical and extraordinary as _real _magic could be possible. It took quite some time for Professor McGonagall to convince her and her parents that it was, indeed, not a joke.

Hermione just decided not to waste her time (she had already changed into her robes and checked that all of her belongings were with her) and reread her potions textbook, when the compartment door opened to reveal a tearful boy with a round face.

"S-sorry, but have you seen a toad?"

Hermione shook her head and replied briskly, "No, but are you looking for one? I'll go with you," She continued without waiting for an answer. "I'm Hermione Granger, by the way. And you are?"

The boy seemed stunned and maybe even a bit frightened. "N-Neville Longbottom. You really don't have to-"

"It's no problem, I'm sure we can find him."

"Wait! I already asked-"

"Don't be silly, it wouldn't hurt to see if anyone has seen him since you last asked. There's a better chance that they've seen it now that they're keeping their eyes out."

Neville protested weakly but was silenced by the stern look Hermione gave him.

They went round the compartments asking to see if anyone has spotted Trevor. The other students were not very concerned and some were very indignant to be interrupted for something as trivial as a toad.

Hermione slid open another sliding door and opened her mouth to say, 'Have you seen a toad? Neville's lost one.' But she never got there. She gazed at two people about her age incredulously, completely ignoring the other people in the room.

"What in the _world_ are you two wearing?"

She was utterly astonished when the boy in the pirate costume said, "Hermione!" The boy leaned over and loudly mock whispered to a black boy with slated eyes, "Hid the rum."

The others in the compartment (A boy with a pale and pointed face, two enormous looking bodyguards for the pale boy, a girl with long blond hair and another boy with dark hair) just stared at him as the black boy raised his eyebrows. The girl in the ridiculous looking cat suit looked on coldly, her lips pressed together in a thin line as though to stop herself from laughing.

"What!"

_What was wrong with this boy? How did he know her name? Why was he pretending to be Johnny Deep?_

"Curious, isn't it?" He looked at her and grinned, "My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled."

Hermione goggled at him for a moment. "You stole that from Privates of the Caribbean!"

"Did I?"

"Yes! What's your name?"

"You don't know?" He paused and shook his head as if disappointed. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, spreading his arms out in a gesture that said, '_of course_.'

Hermione just gaped. "No your not, your lying!"

"Me?" He said with a cheer and a grin that made his emerald eyes dance. "I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones that you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly…stupid." The boy finished with a pointed look at her.

Hermione glared. "Really! What do you think you're doing?"

"What are you doing?"

"No, what are you doing!"

"What are you doing!"

"No-" Hermione stopped as she remembered that scene. This boy was insane! "You're mad!"

The boy, 'Jack Sparrow,' grinned again. "Thank goodness for that because if I wasn't, this'd probably never work."

Hermione had to bite down on her tongue not to scream in frustration. He set that up!

"And that," He continued seeming not to notice or perhaps ignoring Hermione's affronted look, "was without even a single drop of rum."

"_Oh_, I'm sorry," Hermione's words dripped with sarcasm,"I was under the impression that Jack Sparrow-"

The boy cleared his throat.

Hermione spoke through gritted teeth. "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow was much older."

The boy still had the insufferable grin on his face. "Well, luv, what do you expect? I did find the Fountain of Youth. I love this song. Really bad eggs. Ooh." The boy seemed to stagger into the compartment wall even though he was still sitting down.

Hermione smiled triumphantly, ignoring the last part. That movie hadn't come out yet! "Really? Are you sure? What do you have to say to-"

"Cuttlefish."

Hermione opened her mouth but nothing came out. The boy was up again with what he seemed to think was a wise, serious face. She was frantically searching through her memory of which movie he got that from but her brain just wasn't working with her.

"Eh?" He continued in his witty manner and slightly slurred speech. "Let us not, dear friends," Here he swung his arm around the black boy's shoulder, "forget our dear friends the cuttlefish… flipping glorious little sausages. Pen them up together, and they will devour each other without a second thought… Human nature, isn't it? Ooor… fish nature… So yes… we could hold up here, well-provisioned and well-armed, and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me any way you slice it!"

"Or let me guess!" Hermione snapped waspishly, "We can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful?"

"Or," The boy continued with a grin and a nod. "…ah… as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful… I rather doubt it. Can we, in fact, pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur-"

"Oh, stop it!" Hermione practically shrieked. "This is madness!"

"This is politics."

"Actually, this is either madness… or brilliance." The girl in the cat suit intoned smoothly.

"It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide."

Hermione practically snarled, "You think you're funny? Real witty? I'm sure you think you are so clever-"

"You know," He interrupted thoughtfully, "for all pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things." Hermione opened her mouth furiously but he cut above her again. "I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye."

"What did you call him?" The girl said before Hermione could say anything.

The boy paused. "Larry."

"Stop it!"

The boy turned his attention away from her. "Up is down. Well, that's just maddeningly unhelpful."

Hermione wanted to hit something. "Oh, you are _hopeless_!"

"I know that and don't think that I don't because I do. Funny ol' world, innit? You long to do what you want to do because you want it. And I got a jar of dirt!" He said in a sing-song voice and held up an exact replica in the movie that Hermione could have sworn hadn't been there a second ago.

"You know, you could appreciate the fact that we're going to the best school for magic! You're going to look back on these sorts of moments and wish that you'd been a better person! Instead you're completely immature and a lair!"

"I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."

Hermione meant to say something to express her anger but all that came out was a sort of growl and a snarl. She spun on her heel and stalked away.

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it," The boy called out to her. "Now where is that monkey?" she heard the boy say. "I want to shoot something!"

The feeling was mutual.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Yeh'll get yer firs' sight o' Hogwarts in a sec," The giant man called over his shoulder, "jus' round this bend here."

"Can't spot it," A childish voice called over the quiet mummers and squeals of delight from the other students. "Must be a tiny thing hiding somewhere behind the Pearl!"

Hermione Granger groaned loudly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Minerva McGonagall waited anxiously behind the castle's doors.

It wasn't because it was particularly nerve-wracking sorting new students into their houses as she had done it for years. It wasn't because she was excited for the new year and students.

It was because she was terrified that Harry Potter, or James Bond, would somehow, under extreme and unforeseeable circumstances, be sorted into_ her_ house!

Sure, at first she was anticipating it, confident that James and Lily Potter's son would be the prefect lion, but now she was willing to give up practically anything for him to go into another house. She had still been in a shocked state even after a few days that she met the boy, but now that she had time to mull over it and actually_ see _what a loose cannon he was she now was nervous wreck. The worst part was, was that he was a _controlled and calculated_ loose cannon! He knew exactly how people would act and just how to get them to _react_.

Even more horrible was that the Sorting Hat would come up with some insanity instigating adages that would set chaos on everything! All you had to do was give that boy a tiny nudge and BOOM!

Minerva knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help herself.

Or something terrible would happen to the hat. Perhaps the boys mind would be incapable of functioning like normal humans and cause the hat to be untenable and explode or implode, destroying an ancient artifact and making it so that no one could be sorted completely fairly _ever again_.

Or the hat would decide that Harry needed a new house, all for himself. Albus would somehow rope her into it, perhaps making her his head or making himself Harry's head which would be _even worse_. What mayhem could two insane- one senile and one psychotic- people that have a tremendous amount of influence have in the Wizarding World create? Or the whole world for that matter? The really awful part was that Harry was probably the mature one.

Or maybe, _that's exactly what Harry wanted her to think_! What if he set up that whole day, carefully planned out, and-

Minerva jumped when she heard Hagrid knocking to come in. She straightened her hat, squared her shoulders and swung open the door.

"The firs' years, Professor McGonagall," said Hagrid as though it would be something else.

"Thank you, Hagrid. I will take them from here."

Minerva pulled the door wide, admitting in the nervous looking eleven-year olds. She'd bet her whole vault of gallons that she was more apprehensive than the lot of them.

They followed her across the flagged stone floor and off to an empty chamber off the hall. They were huddled together closer than they would usually have done, peering about anxiously. You could hear the drone of hundreds of voices from the Great Hall.

Minerva instantly scanned the sea of children, looking for a certain messy, black-haired boy and even his mystery friend. She frowned faintly when she couldn't spot either.

Minerva corrected the position of her glasses and launched into her speech that she spoke every year; she didn't see the need to write a whole new one when this one got the job done quickly and effectively.

"…I suggest you all smarten yourselves up as much as you can while you are waiting."

Minerva eyes lingered for a moment on a boy with a round face that she knew with absolute certainly was Neville Longbottom- he looked so like Alice- and an ash smudged nose of a red haired boy that she thought was probably another Weasley. Heaven help all if he's anything like the terrible twins.

She turned to go but something deep, faded red out of place caught her eye and she glanced over before looking away. She suddenly did a double take.

Standing there was Harry Potter- or James Bond- looking cool and collected, almost bored with the surroundings. She realized with a jolt that he had streaks of white in his hair at the tips. She'd seen muggles who'd had done that, but with different colors. He causally leaned against a pedestal and spoke calmly to a girl that Minerva recognized instantly as Selynda Pomiodes. She had the painted white in her hair, also.

Minerva looked at them incredulously not because of the hair but because she sure that she had seen a bandanna on Harry and wicked dagger in Selynda's hand.

As though they could sense someone staring at them they snapped their heads over to Minerva and grinned impishly. Harry pantomimed an, '_after you_.'

Minerva stared at them for another second before she understood that she had to get going. She stumbled over her robe slightly before she impatiently fixed it and swept into the Great Hall to inform the headmaster that the first years were ready, trying not to think of what those two children were hiding or perhaps making her _believe _they were hiding.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_§That was rather amusing.§ _Selynda murmured, _§Though I think that we may be pushing it a bit too far with Cat Lady- she doesn't seem as inept in common sense as Bat Grease and Old Beard.§_

"Parseltongue," Sophos said absently as though he was commenting on the weather.

Selynda immediately seemed to understand as she grimaced and shrugged in a sort of, 'well, what are you going to do?' kind of way. Sophos wondered if they were both going to slip up in a disastrous way when they least expected it.

Probably were.

"What about Parseltongue?" A nasally sort of voice broke through Sophos thoughts. "I hear only the Darkest of wizards can speak it- they even called Salazar Slytherin himself, Serpent Tongue."

Sophos turned to see a pompous looking idiot standing rather closer then he was comfortable with. He wondered vaguely if he'd get in trouble if he started a fight before school even started. He abruptly noticed that everyone had suddenly gone quiet- more so then before- and turned to stare at them.

"Really?" Sophos purposely drawled lazily. "That's fascinating. I'm sure all the Slytherins would be ecstatic to hear your opinion on their perspective. Why don't you go tell them? I strongly suggest the menacing looking upperclassmen."

The boy glared. "What, are you defending those slimy snakes? They're all evil! I heard my mum say that Who-Know-Who was one."

Sophos heard mummers of agreement and people nodding their heads. He saw some people look around uncomfortable as though unsure what to do. Others glared.

"First of all, idiot," Sophos said pleasantly sounding as though he wasn't insulting and about to insult the boy in front of him, "snakes are reptiles, not amphibians, which _does not_ make them slimy. Frogs are slimy. Salamanders are slimy. Snakes are _not_. I am honestly disgusted that anyone doesn't know something so elementary. Preschool, even. Calling a people who are ambitious '_evil_' just says that you are going _no where_ in your life with no direction. While all of who you so elegantly call, '_slimy snakes_,' will have nice jobs in society or go on to their dreams in traveling or something of the sort. _They'll _be successful. It's the exact same prejudiced as saying all Hufflepuffs are duffers or all Ravenclaws can't keep their head out of a book or all Gryffindores are mindless idiots. It's stupid and a pointless way to waste your time.

"As for Lord Voldemort," gasps were heard all around but quickly spotted when they saw that he was still speaking. Sophos seemed to have them all memorized as they drank everything he said in with rapt attention, "Yes, actually he was a Slytherin. But what set him off as becoming a Dark Lord had nothing to do with the House- it was the awful prejudice that he experienced. He wanted to reform the Ministry into something for equality. But he went a _little _insane when he experimented with some untested fields of magic. I'm not defending the crimes he committed; I'm just telling you the truth.

"I personally would rather go to Slytherin where they all stick together to keep the disdain of the other houses from affecting them then be in any of the other houses where I'd have to put up with people bullying my fellow classmates. Sure, I'm positive you've all heard that the Slytherins were the bullies and jerks but haven't any of you thought that they only kept up those masks to retain their respect and their sense of security? I don't think that you'll ever see any Slytherins hurting one another or getting into fights amongst themselves. I'm also sure that isn't true; it's just not possible. But they take care of their issues away from the other houses so that division doesn't start in their house, because, really. What other house would support them when they have the wrath of the other two houses breathing down on them? Who else is there to pick them up in their time of need other then each other?

Now Sophos was speaking to the room at large. Everyone's eyes were glued on him.

"You could argue that Slytherins are against all those who aren't '_pureblood_.'" Here Sophos made quotations with his hands. "Well, do you want to know the_ real_ story?" He continued without waiting for an answer- not that anyone would have.

"Salazar Slytherin a thousand years ago was, indeed, wary of the muggle descent. Haven't any of you bothered to look back at history? It was the time of the Hunts! It was the time where muggles sought out magical beings to try to eliminate them from Earth! They tried to destroy what they didn't understand! Don't we all? Besides, Salazar was _only_ suspicious of a _group _of muggleborns who had known Witch Hunters as close family members. The fight that broke up the founders was not because he was _Dark_ and it was not because he wanted genocide to muggles and muggleborns. It was because he felt that they shouldn't tell the children's parents if there was a risk to their safety!

"The others didn't agree, but I don't think they were in any position _not_ to. They were the ones who grew up tucked away from the violence, but not Salazar. He witnessed many of the attacks as a child and he knew that they didn't carefully check to make sure it was a witch or a wizard- they killed their families, they killed their friends and it was all out of fear. Salazar didn't want the children's safety in jeopardy."

"Oh, yeah?" A red-headed boy- one of Ginny's brothers by the looks of it- said loudly, snapping out of his trance. "And how would_ you_ know this?"

Sophos surveyed him coldly. "I know, Weasley, because I'm heir to the Gryffindor line and Godric's journals were in the vault. They were best friends, Salazar and Godric, and kept up the best they could after Salazar left. Godric, Rowena and Helga pleaded him to come back but his family needed him rather badly- way too long of a story to get into at this moment."

That shocked him back into silence. Best part of it was true. Sure, he conveniently forgot to mention that he was heir to the other founders and that he had their journals too, but no harm done.

"Now, I can go into a three hour rant into how Dark and Light wizards use to work together in harmony and how neither is evil unless used for nefarious means but I'll make this quick. Weasley, give me two of what you consider a Light spell off the top of your head."

The boy gaped at him for a moment before saying in a slightly hoarse voice, "A summoning charm and levitation charm."

"I can summon the heart out of your chest, brain out of your head. I can levitation you and drop you on your head, breaking your neck or just fling you right off a building. Tell me, Weasley, is that not crueler then a simple Killing Curse which is painless and quick?"

The boy stared at him in fear but Sophos could tell that he got the point like the rest of the gathered first-years. This was rather fun. He should have thought of it before.

"The Dark Arts were not meant for harming other forms of life- it was meant for being closer to nature, the Earth if you will. The Light focuses on your core and on life. The Dark focuses on the magic that you get from the Earth. When you die, you become part of the Earth once more and that's why a lot of people in this age assume its evil. Its not. It is part of the cycle of Magick. Just like Day and Night. Would you say that Night is evil because it shows a different view? Because it holds seemly more mysteries? I don't think that's true. Day has plenty of shadows. Night has the beauty of the stars, moons, planets and all that other space junk! I'm sure all the muggleborns understand what I'm talking about- Water Cycle, anyone? Rock Cycle? Decomposition? Astronomy- which we will be learning here also? See, you can see some science in magic, can you not?"

The other kids were starting to smile and mummer excitingly. They all stopped when he started to talk again.

"And hey! Who says that '_mudblood_' is an insult? Your mother and father are muggle! Be proud! I'm considered a half-blood and I'm sure as hell proud to say it! Actually, from what my blood evaluations that the goblins did, it would seem that my mother came from an extremely long line of squibs. Who's to say that not all muggleborns came from magical families? They're plenty of old pureblood lines that felt it was the deepest shame to have a squib in the family and gave them away. How does anyone actually know or kept a record of them when they were all kept secret? How does anyone know if the magic was just waiting to pop up again? It makes sense to me. Magical Creatures pass on their magic to their offspring. It would make sense for humans, too! Randomly coming up in a family that is completely non-magical is highly unlikely. I actually bet that there probably isn't any bloodline that has now not crossed with magic. There are six billion people in this world! How could they have not?"

Sophos took a deep breath. He hadn't realized his voice had gotten any louder.

"So… are you really going to let a bunch of rumors that got out of hand rule your decisions?" He tried to make eye contact with everyone in the room. "Or are you going to take a stand? Do what your ancestors want you to do, wish had already been done? Are we going to be the generation that revolutionizes our world, be it magical or non-magical? Because, really, is there a difference anymore? So many wizards and witches wouldn't believe the advances that muggles have accomplished! Honestly, wizards really need to wake up and realize that it's the twenty first century and that boys don't wear dresses anymore."

The kids seemed to be gaining more confidence or maybe some of their brains were coming back as many sniggered. Sophos suspect most were muggleborn and half-blood.

"Oh, bravo!"

All the students, including Selynda and Sophos, turned and jumped. Standing behind them was about twenty ghost and they were all either clapping heartily or cheering. They were pearly-white and slightly transparent.

A fat little monk-like man looked at Sophos with pride shinning in his dead eyes. "My, I have never seen such a like of this! You, young lad, will go far! May I say with confidence that any of us would be honored to have you in our own house." The ghost swept his gaze among the others kindly, "I suggest that you listen to the boy. None of us ghost fight among ourselves. I have no problems with the Baron. In truth, the founders would have hoped you all stay united."

"Indeed," A ghost that was wearing a ruff and tights intoned, "Perhaps you all will set right which is now in dismay."

"Well," The monk said cheerfully. "Hope to see you lot in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know."

"Move along now," said a sharp voice from the doorway."The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."

McGonagall had returned, causing the ghost to leave, floating away through the opposite wall, whispering to one another excitingly.

"Now, form a line, two in each row" Cat Lady told them, "and follow me."

Nobody moved.

McGonagall turned around with a confused look on her face when he heard no footsteps. Everyone was looking at Sophos again, as though for guidance. Or to see if they should listen to McGonagall. It unnerved Sophos but he kept his face expertly smooth and sighed loudly. Were all these children sheep? Having one to go before the other to jump off the cliff?

"Come on. The sooner we get this done the faster we eat… Just remember that it doesn't matter which House you belong to."

Sophos started forward with Selynda matching his step perfectly at his side. The students followed.

Sophos saw McGonagall close her eyes and shake her head as though trying to forget that ever happened. Or maybe trying to convince herself that it was a delusion.

_§I wonder what took them so long…§_ Selynda spoke too quietly in his ear for anyone else to make anything out other than the mummer of her voice.

_§Don't know. We'll find out though. All we have to do is ask the other students.§_

_§True. Oh man,§_ She sniggered. _§Holy Shesha, Sophos, I can barely believe you did that.§_

_§I know.§_

_§You're going to be sick, aren't you?§_

_§Oh, definitely.§  
_

_**Preview:**__ Sorting and classes. Ooh! Snape is so going to get it!  
_

_Whew! That took _forever_. Sorry! I kept on changing what I wanted. Oh, and I really didn't mean for the Sophos to rant on and on. I was actually just going to make him call the kid an idiot or maybe ignore that him (whose identity _will be _revealed) but… I don't know it just sorta happened and I couldn't bring myself to take it out. But, hey, if everyone hates it and demands for a rewrite for that, then I will. To me this seems like a chapter that you either love or hate._

_Yes! I'm guilty! I stole Jackie! I couldn't resist, he was the _only one_ I wanted Sophos to impersonate. And, trust me; this is that last time that I'll be doing something like that. I know I didn't do much for the Selene character, but I wanted that part to be funny and I just didn't really see how I could add her in that well without destroying the mood. (I have no clue if anyone even recognized that I used her from Underworld) And once that I got her outfit in my head, no one else would do for Selynda. Yes, I also know it was probably very stupid of me to do that at all. Like I said, I can rewrite it and make them more inconspicuous. Plus, I wasn't too crazy with the conversation in the beginning... Oh well. _

_Sophos' and Selynda's hair will be explained later._

_Sorry for everyone who hates Ginny. But, hey, I might change my mind. They're eleven! No pairs yet, just to make that perfectly clear. (But I can hint it- _Mwahahahah_!)_

_Yeah, yeah, I know the names are ridiculous but I _need_ those names! You'll find out later._

_Oh, and for the whole 'Tom Thingy' (as I now call it in my head- heh). I was pretty vague on that, true- I figured that I could just say that Selynda told him all about Diagon Ally and all that but, you're right, _qwe123_. I'll either edit it out when I get the chance or I'll add something in for Selynda reading someone's mind on him or something._

_Review and tell me all the mistakes I made! _:)P

_-Vayah_

* * *


	7. The Red Ferret

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 6: The Red Ferret_

_If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog,_

_Presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves._

_~Douglas Adams_

Minerva walked briskly back to the first years who she was sure were even more apprehensive by the extremely long wait. Even _she _did not expect Peeves to do something so drastic to show his displeasure of being kept away from the feast this year. The Bloody Baron would straighten him out later.

She swung open the door, confused as to why she couldn't hear the children talking.

"Well," she heard the Fat Friar say, "Hope to see you lot in Hufflepuff! My old house, you know."

"Move along now," Minerva said sharply. The ghost always did that- scare the children then act as though it was an accident just to get a good look at them and sponsor their own houses. "The Sorting Ceremony's about to start."

She waited for the ghosts to leave then said, "Now, from a line, two in each row," turned, expecting to her footfalls and nervous whispering but all she heard was silence. How odd.

When Minerva turned around she almost wished she hadn't. Every pair of eyes was staring at one point and that one point happened to be Harry Potter. All except Selynda Pomiodes. She was staring at Minerva. The girl slowly looked up at the ceiling, shrugged her shoulders delicately, and smiled- almost sympathetically- as she looked back at her instructor. Minerva thought the message meant, _what can you do, it's just who he is- a mystery. One that you will never understand._

But that was what she had already been thinking and from what she saw of Miss. Pomiodes she was sure that wasn't it. She was probably saying that she thought the other students were strange and pitied her for having to teach them. Or perhaps she was looking for butterflies.

Minerva's attention was dragged back to Harry as he sighed loudly, like he was just asked to work on the holidays. "Come on," He said with an edge of irritation in his voice, "The sooner we get this done the faster we eat… Just remember that it doesn't matter which House you belong to."

Minerva closed her eyes and shook her head when the students fell into step behind the Harry and Selynda. He was barely here for a day and he already had all his classmates on a leash! What in the world could he have said that made all the children pay more attention to him than they probably would a teacher! Was this an innocent act? Or was this he trying to amass followers, gather sup-

Oh, that was ridiculous! Harry was many things- mostly insane- but he wasn't the next Dark Lord! He was perplexing, cunning, brilliant, and observant. He probably just said something so confusing and irrational and unbelievable that is was so completely logical that they all had to listen.

That sounded much more like Harry- or James Bond. Well, at least from what she'd had and hadn't seen. Mostly the _hadn't_ part. If he was looking to rule the world he'd need followers and to get followers he could have used his influence that he already had as the Boy-Who-Lived. Instead he went under an analysis and pushed people away.

Minerva took comfort in that. But barely. Just because he didn't want to rule the world didn't mean that he wouldn't cause a calamity. More than one. One anything he comes in contact with.

As she walked up to the front- ignoring the older students snickering at how small and nervous the first years were- and told the children to gather around. She spotted Harry and Selynda (peering at the night sky as though they were looking for all the details of the stars) and realized with a bit of surprise that they were among the shortest of their year. It didn't seem that way; they were both so confident, from what she'd seen, that they seemed taller.

Minerva sighed quietly before pulling out a four-legged stool and placed the frayed old hat on top.

As Minerva walked to the Sorting Hat she looked down on it sadly. Was this the last sorting it would attend? She cringed at the thought because it probably wasn't too far off.

For a few moments there was complete silence as the old students stared intently at the patched hat and the new ones copying. It opened its brim wide and began to sing:

_You know all the drills,_

_I place you in your House,_

_You learn using books and quills._

_But tonight I give you more,_

_Than looking to your core._

_There is a tale of Magick,_

_From a thousand years past,_

_Oh but it is quite tragic,_

_All seem to forget fast._

_Passed down right to the Four,_

_They told generations the legend,_

_Of the mystical Runic Lore._

_Alas none other would believe,_

_Such a horror could exist,_

_They were much too naïve._

_But soon comes the chance,_

_Fallens' Savior,_

_To break the world out of its trance._

_Risk Cineraceus demonizing?_

_The Chosen One must,_

_Can't you feel it rising?_

_Sweet Snake do be just._

_Choose your Anima Sky,_

_For Light and Dark,_

_Must come together to fly._

_Can the past and present of the Naga Dynasty Bind,_

_To balance the inferno seesaw in time?_

The whole hall looked at the patched hat stunned. It had never said anything like that in all of history! It would give warnings from time to time, but this was nothing like it.

Minerva felt an ice cold shiver run down her back. This just hadto do with Harry, some way, some how. The Chosen One? That_ had_ to be Harry.

Albus had told her of the prophecy- not the exact wording, but enough to know that Harry was going to have to defeat Voldemort someday. And if the Sorting Hat was warning everyone about something- the 'inferno seesaw' whatever that was- then it was coming fast and it was worried.

Minerva looked around at the students as they stared whispering. Her eyes settled on Harry who was looking confused, not at the hat, but at Miss. Pomiodes. When she looked at the girl she felt her heart skip a beat.

She was staring at the hat with her mouth hanging open with the most horrorstruck look on her face that Minerva had ever seen that if she hadn't known any better she would have thought that the world was ending. Minerva saw Harry lean over to her and grip her hand as he whispered something in her ear.

Minerva ripped her gaze away from Harry and Selynda and glanced at Albus, trying to gauge his reaction. As he peered at the hat with a puzzled frown on his face, Minerva knew that he hadn't understood any better then she did.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos raised his eyebrow as the song ended. He thought that it was only suppose to be about the houses and fun and silly wittle things for the itty bitty children. Apparently not. Wha-

Waves of shock hit Sophos like a piano made of bricks. His stomach felt worse then it did when he finished the speech and worse then when he walked into the Great Hall and discovered that everyone was about to know who he was and study him like some animal at the zoo. It was like a dozen spiked snakes choose to move into his intestines and was fighting over the bathroom.

He swayed slightly on spot as he tried to think past the pounding in his head. Where was this sudden emotional crisis coming from? It didn't even feel completely real, it felt like…

…It felt like Selynda.

Sophos snapped his head over to look at her so fast that it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash.

Selynda looked like someone told her that butterflies became extinct today due to over hunting. He thought over the hat's words. The world was in a trance? Huh? What was Ciner-whatever? Naga Dynasty? Wasn't that one of those legends Selynda told him about where Parselmouths came from? And something was going to be so awful that… nobody even knew what it was anymore because no one believed it? What does it mean about a 'trance'? Literal or rhetorical? Were people going to be enslaved? What was an 'inferno seesaw'?

Sophos felt dread envelop him. Was Voldemort going to rise again? It had said, 'Can't you feel it rising?' Was that was this was about?

Sophos took a shaky breath and tried to think. It didn't matter right now. Right now, he had to help Selynda.

Sophos leaned over, grasping her trembling hand, and whispered,_ §its okay. It's going to be okay. We don't have to worry about it now; we'll fix it later.§_

She dragged her eyes away from the front and looked at him; her wide eyes made you think you were looking into a grave. _§Cineraceus Mors. Holy Shesha,§ _she whimpered distantly,_ §Everything will be lost!§_

_§Look at me! It doesn't matter right now, whatever it is. We can make this- whatever it is there _has_ to be something to stop it, right?§_

Selynda just looked at him unseeing.

Sophos stomped on her foot. Hard.

Selynda jerked and with a stifled gasped she pulled her foot up. It was a good thing no one was paying any attention to them.

When Sophos saw her eyes focus and felt his stomach calm down, he said, Something_ can stop the seesaw thingy, right? You have to calm down.§_

_§Right, right,§ _Selynda said, distractingly rubbing her foot, a small scowl on her face. _§But there's only one chance- the hat said so.§_

_§Yeah. What'd the hat say? 'The Chosen One has to risk Ciner- whatever from demonizing or something?§_

_§Yes,§ _And then stronger Selynda said,_ §Yes. Chosen One.§ _Her eyes flinted to his forehead. She smiled grimly as she looked back into his eyes. §_Well, hell, Sophos. Your not gonna get a break, are you?§_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Once McGonagall got everyone settled down she began calling out names.

"Abbott, Hannah!"

A girl with blonde pigtails and a pink face stumbled through the other first years. A girl with wavy black hair and white highlights smiled in encouragement, if not a bit shaky and mouthed, "Good luck!"

Hannah sat down on the stool and McGonagall lowered the hat on her head. It fell right down over her eyes. A moment's pause-

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The table on the right cheered and clapped as Hannah went to sit down. That wasn't unusual. What was unusual was that as soon as a little boy with messy hair, a waiting first year, started cheering, so did all the other new students. The professors looked at them confusingly. Snape looked suspiciously at the boy. The boy waved mockingly back.

And so it went. The first years cheering for all of their classmates, even the students who were already sorted were clapping for the ones in other houses. A lot of the older students gave them funny looks, but after half a dozen were sorted they joined in too. Albus Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling brighter then ever.

Hermione Granger (who doesn't seem to care about ancient artifacts) went to Gryffindor along with Neville Longbottom (almost taking the hat with him). All the other kids who were in the compartment with Jack- _ahem_- Captain Jack Sparrow went to Slytherin, all except the black boy who had yet to get his turn.

"Pomiodes, Selynda!"

(Minerva McGonagall thought this was a strange way to spell it as she thought it was 'Selinda.' Which she thought was a strange name, anyway)

The wavy haired girl had seem to relax as the sorting progressed and she now grinned widely and kissed the messy haired boy on the cheek before bouncing gracefully over to the stool and plunking down. The hat was lowered over her head.

It started laughing.

(McGonagall was cursing herself for forgetting to remember that Selynda would probably destroy the hat before Harry did)

Everyone in the hall except the boy, Snape and McGonagall looked positively shocked. Dumbledore had a calculating look in his eyes, if you were to look close enough. The hat was on the girls head for half a minute. Then-

"SLYTHERIN!"

A moment of silence as Minerva McGonagall breathed a sigh of relief (if one went into another house, surely the other would follow- which just about made her panic because they weren't normal and wouldn't follow any normal patterns) and the boy shouted "Yeah, Selynda!" Then cheers erupted and the girl skipped off to her table. Dumbledore looked disturbed. Snape scowled darkly.

"Potter, Harry!"

(Minerva McGonagall had to take a few breaths to calm herself)

All the older students started whispering while most of the first years gasped and gawked- especially when they saw who it was. Then- all at the same time- said loudly, "Shh!" which caused all the older students to stare at them incredulously.

(Of course, most of them did that while the others just gaped or glared)

Everyone besides the Transfiguration and Potions professor felt a faint shiver of unease as they saw that he had the same inhuman grace as the girl before him did. Dumbledore narrowed his eyes.

When the hat touched Harry Potter's head it started laughing like it did with Selynda, but with a more hysterical edge to it and louder.

(Minerva McGonagall was feeling sick)

It took a moment of silence. Then another. Then another.

A minute.

Five. Then-

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Pomiodes, Selynda!"

Selynda pecked Sophos on the cheek before bounding forward and plopping down on the stool.

She started a little when it began to laugh.

_Ah, what do we have here? Hmm, a snake attending Hogwarts? My, my, how different. You could naturally go to Slytherin right away or you can be sorted like the others, yes? Well, let's see…Bravery and chivalry, but entirely sensible- very Slytherin so Gryffindor is out. Completely loyal to Sophos but others have to earn your loyalty- and do they have to work for it! Hufflepuff… No, I think not. Ravenclaw? You could fit in there. You have a very interesting mind and do love learning. But you wouldn't willingly give away any of your knowledge- except to your Snake-child- so, Ravenclaw is out, too. Slytherin is prefect for you, really, and you really do fit all of the requirements- Salazar would be proud to have you. Well, Miss. Slytherin, better be-_

"SLYTHERIN!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Potter, Harry!"

_Breathe, breathe! You have to breathe!_

Sophos completely missed whatever the other students were doing trying to keep his face smooth. He walked forward, his legs feeling oddly as though they've been turned into lead. The snakes were back, but this time they had babies that went to explore his poor brain. They were making it fuzzy and throb at the same time.

He sat on the stool surprised he didn't fall over backwards because of his nerves. He was even more surprised that he didn't yelp when the hat started laughing- loudly.

_To be honest I was not expecting your mind to be _this _interesting even though I have seen into some of your memories from Miss. Slytherins'. You two make quite the terrible pair, don't you? _

_Err. Thanks._

_That was a compliment, Snake-child… Hmm. Don't you ever get annoyed by that?_

_What, 'Snake-child'? Not really. Selynda always called me that, so I used to it._

_Well then, I suppose that it's time to sort you._

Sophos thought this was odd to say because it sounded like he didn't want to.

_I don't, _The hat said matter-of-factly, _The Founders would be skinning each other to get you into their House. Salazar always said there should be five houses in case someone came who was equally divided. Helga agreed but the other two talked them out of it._

_Oh…_

_Yes, actually, they didn't really want any Houses that were just theirs but they went along with Rowena and Godric. Rowena because she was- as usual- the most logical in the group and pointed out that they all made different parts of the castle and that if they just let the students pick themselves they wouldn't be where they are supposed to be and rivalry would start between them anyway. She believed it would be more practical if they could place the students where their traits coincide better with one another then not and set up a point system as to encourage the students to behave. It worked while they were around, naturally, but now it is little more then a way to promote House division. Godric on the other hand thought that it would be healthy to be closer to the students that they could get along with. Plus, he forever liked competition; especially from Salazar- they always did like to push each other's buttons. _

_Not that this isn't interesting or anything, but why are you telling _me _this?_

_You are their heir, are you not?_

_Did you tell Selynda this?_

_No. You are the _true _heir. She is tied to you, yes, but right down to the truth of the matter is that she will always be your familiar. Guardian. Technically she was not born from them. She was born from an ancient and powerful line of snakes that was considered royalty long ago, but she is not _really _related to you. Well… actually, she _is _a Slytherin, so you two have that._

Sophos frown in thought.

_Yes, _the hat sounded amused, _Slytherins very much descended from snakes. Look for Salazar's Chamber. You'll find your answers there._

_You mean the Chamber of Secrets? _Sophos thought quickly, almost blurting it out loud.

The hat chuckled in his head. _Yes, it was in his journal I believe, but you'll have a hard time finding it since you can just barely understand what they wrote._

Sophos have to grudgingly admit to that. He really only was able to get the gist of what they were writing about; he could _just _understand what Shakespeare wrote and he was about five hundred years or so ahead of the Founders- it didn't help that they would go off writing in Welsh or something. Why they did that, Sophos didn't know.

_You should practice with that book you got. The Arts of Nature. Just so you know they _only _spoke in Old Welsh. And Latin. You can just understand parts of it._

_What... Why?_

_Miss. Slytherin can tell you that. Or she _will be _able to tell you that._

_Uh… Okay._

_But I'll give you a clue. Get to know all the ghosts._

_Ghosts…? I guess that makes sense._

_Yes. You can find the Chamber through them, though they have no idea where it is._

_Gee. That's just great, huh? I'm gonna have to interview hundreds of ghost without them realizing that I'm interrogating them._

_And when you get there, _the hat said, seeming to ignore what he thought, _you get to really understand what's so important about the Mighty Shesha._

_Shesha? You mean the God or whomever that Selynda goes on about?_

_Yes._

After a moment Sophos thought, _You're not going to elaborate, huh? Well, can I ask you about the song?_

_Yes._

_Selynda said that I'm the 'Chosen One'. Is that true?_

_You wont get the answers from me. You have to figure it out on your own- if you didn't then I'd just tell everyone what I was on about instead of speaking in riddles. _

_But you just said-_

_I said you can ask a question, not that I'd answer._

Sophos thought that sounded extraordinarily like something he'd do.

_Exactly! _The Hat sounded pleased. _Your magic gives me power to communicate with you, so while I am on your head I am something of an extension to you. Not so with you. Since you have the Founders blood I can remember more clearly the past. Also, I can actually tell you things instead of advising you on what you already know. I could do the same with Miss. Slytherin, to a point. _

Sophos frowned as he thought of this, a bit confused. If it was true, then how could he make a song during the school year?

_I have magic of my own that takes time to amass into something not contorted._

_Oh. How can you know what's coming, like threats to the school and-_

_I am a magical object. I can feel Magick. I have felt the shift and I am warning all like I always do when they need it._

Sophos felt slightly smug, though he knew it was idiotic. _So this is about a magical shift?_

_Obviously. It was in the song._

… _Oh. Right._

The hat chuckled in his head. _I can see into your mind, what makes you think that you can trick me?_

_Because sometimes I trick myself._

The hat snorted. _Well, that was a pathetic attempt. _Sophos had to agree. _And you mean that you made yourself _believe _that you tricked yourself even though you made a mistake._

_Yeah, pretty much._

_Oh, and I know your worried that you Occlumeny shields are abysmal, but they're not. They are very good actually. You'd be able to keep the best Legilimens out for some time under a full out attack. But don't bring it to that. You might find that bad memories are brought up. _Sophos flinched internally. _And they'll know about it._

_Good to know. Why-_

_Miss. Slytherin is like me in the matter that we can break through any shield. It was what I was made for, and it was a power that Miss. Slytherin was born with._

Sophos mulled over this. Then with a jolt he remembered that he was supposed to be getting sorted. People were probably watching and staring and-

_Right… Let's see. You can honestly go into any House and make it your home. But let us take the students into account… _Sophos felt something brush through his mind now that he was expecting it. It was as if a feather was delicately sweeping through his memories. The hat laughed. _Though you were only joking with Mr. Malfoy, I think, on the whole, you were correct. I know it is foolish to ask but… Any objections?_

_Um, no. I really don't care which House I end up in. _

_Alright. Seems like our time is coming to a close. You simply must come to visit me. It has been around a thousand years since I felt so like myself. Awake. I'd be happy to have Miss. Slytherin come, too._

_Won't Bumblebee be a bit suspicious?_

_Who cares? _

… _Good point._

_Well then, better be-_

"SLYTHERIN!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos and Selynda shared a look after Old Beard's little speech that quite clearly stated, _He's gone senile._

Sophos sighed as he turned his attention to the plate in front of him. He wasn't hungry. It irritated him. This was probably the best made food he had ever laid eyes on and he couldn't enjoy it because he didn't want it!

Sophos glanced at his sister and saw that she felt the same way. It was probably worse for her because she really only needed food every two weeks or so even humanized. Snakes are weird like that.

He gave a long suffering sigh again and reached for the goblet in front of him. While he was disgusted at the thought of eating, he was a bit thirsty. He brought the drink to his lips, lazily looking over at the other tables-

"Argh!"

Sophos coughed and sputter and looked revolted down into the goblet, ignoring the person who yelled out when he sprayed the foul substance into their face and the pug-like girl who indignantly protested.

"What the hell_ is_ this?" he exclaimed.

Selynda started to crack up, leaning away from Sophos, laughing so hard she clutched her hands at her sides.

The blonde girl who was sitting on Sophos right was obviously trying to hold her composure as she answered. "Pumpkin juice. I take it you haven't had it before?"

"No," He said looking down angrily into the liquid. "Who is the imbecile who invented this stuff? Then again, who was stupid enough place it in front of me?"

The blonde girl's lips twitched. She ended up looking like she had a tooth ache. "The house-elves, I suppose."

Sophos paused as he grimaced internally. The last thing he wanted was a bunch of hysterical elves showing up when he wanted to sleep, trying to win his forgiveness. "Oh," He looked at the wooden table and sighed again and said, "Sorry, I know it's not any of your faults. If I have a glass of water everything will be forgotten and-"

"Your mad, Potter," A sneering voice cut through his apology.

It was the person sitting opposite of him, the person who he spit the nasty juice all over. Eh. Draco seemed angry. Sophos couldn't decide if it was because the pumpkin crap would probably ruined his image he was trying to pass off (though Sophos was sure he wouldn't think of that til later) or because he had pretended to be two different people right to his face and Draco didn't even realize it.

Sophos shrugged unconcernedly. "I know that. Did I ever say I wasn't?" He picked up the glass of water that was in front of him and mocked toasted Draco before he sipped the ice cold drink.

Sophos smiled behind his glass as he saw Draco's incredulous and furious expression and hummed a tune that he had known for as long as he could remember.*

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Tom Riddle, aka Lord Voldemort sat back, glad that nobody was talking to 'him' at the moment. Yes, he could have just retreated to the back of Quirrell's mind (and head) and let him do the talking (stuttering) but then he wouldn't be able to observe Harry Potter.

The boy exchanged a glanced with the dark haired girl- who had the same white highlights as the boy and who he remembered as Pomiodes- sitting on his left after the old man's inane speech.

It was baffling. For one, the boy was a Slytherin. Another, the hat had gone insane. For another… What the _bloody hell _did the boy do to his classmates? It was as if he put them all under the Imperious Curse!

Voldemort thought over Quirrell's memories of Harry's trip in Diagon Ally. It seemed like the boy knew that Quirrell was after the stone. It was also puzzling that Harry knew Quirrell's name even though no one told him, if Snape and McGonagall's reactions were anything to go by.

The boy was also… hyper. Harry was literally was babbling almost the whole time that Quirrell was in their company and probably long after. To Voldemort it seemed as though he was purposely giving a hard time to his professors, but he couldn't be sure.

Then there was that book the boy took. Voldemort was honestly surprised that Flourish and Blotts would even carry that volume; it was extremely Dark and entirely illegal. Obviously the employee is an absolute idiot if he didn't even check which books a young boy was buying, especially when his escorts were most against it…

Then again, Harry had a perfect diversion in place. James Bond. Voldemort snorted quietly. Brilliant. (Just because he had been working on his plans for world domination didn't mean that he didn't keep up with muggle news- that would be idiotic) Harry had mocked the whole Wizarding World and all of the blood purity bigotry and no one noticed. _Of course,_ Voldemort thought frowning, _Harry might not have even meant to do that…_

Voldemort gazed at Harry, slightly confused, that unpleasant and unusual feeling amplified by his speculations. The boy wasn't even eating. He looked… bored. And irritated.

Voldemort watched as the boy reached for the goblet. He thought the boy was about to set it down when he suddenly lurched and sprayed his drink over the Malfoy spawn.

The Dark Lord had to bring his goblet to his mouth to stop the involuntary grin that threatened to overcome his features. He discreetly casted a listening charm, which shimmered unnoticed through the feasible air, without completely deciding to do it.

"What the hell_ is_ this!"

Voldemort raised his eyebrows slightly. That didn't sound like the beast that Quirrell dealt with. Not to mention the boy had an American accent.

The Pomiodes girl- half-blood as it wasn't a pureblood name- immediately started laughing. Voldemort thought it was understandable. Between the affronted, pumpkin juice soaked Malfoy and the disgusted look on Harry's face, he thought it was downright hilarious.

(Some-coughDumbledorecough- would be surprised that he could find something amusing other then mercilessly torturing the life out of his victims.)

"Pumpkin juice. I take it you haven't had it before?" Said who Voldemort thought was a Greengrass.

"No," Harry said glaring down into his goblet as if it had personally insulted him. "Who is the imbecile who invented this stuff? Then again, who was stupid enough place it in front of me?"

Voldemort had to pass off a startled laugh as a hacking cough, looking apologetic and nervous at Snape, who he coughed on, until the man looked away. He really needed to build his Occlumeny shields back up.

Yes, the Dark Lord was rather shocked that Harry was speaking that way as he wasn't anything like that in Diagon Ally- well, expect for when the boy was threatening Quirrell. Or not…? He still didn't know.

He hated not knowing.

But what surprised him the most was that he himself had acted almost identical to the boy when he had tried that foul drink all those years ago.

"The house-elves, I suppose."

The boy paused for a moment and Voldemort saw his eyes flicker. "Oh," Sighing, the boy looked at the table. "Sorry, I know it's not any of your faults. If I have a glass of water everything will be forgotten and-"

"Your mad, Potter," Malfoy said with the family sneer on his face.

Voldemort hoped that when he rose to power again that that idiot spawn of Lucius didn't ever get the chance to take his mark. Idiot! Couldn't he see that Harry Potter knew _exactly_ what he was doing?

If the Dark Lord had been paying more attention to what he was thinking he would have thought it extremely odd that he was complimenting the child that had lost him his body. He also would have been disturbed that he was thinking of the boy almost…fondly. Heaven forbid. Especially when he had been planning his revenge on the boy for years- a very painful and bloody revenge.

Harry shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "I know that. Did I ever say I wasn't?"

Dark Lord Voldemort, known to be the most feared sorcerer in all of history, had to shove his goblet back to his mouth as he saw the boy hold a new glass- that hadn't been there a moment ago- up to Malfoy, as though toasting him, and smirk as he drank his water. Voldemort could swear he heard Harry humming. The dark lord inhaled his laugh, causing his drink to go up Quirrell's nose.

To say that Severus Snape was furious when the defense professor coughed and sputtered his drink all over his robes was an understatement.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

As the feast wore on Voldemort found himself fascinated by the conversation between the first-year Slytherins.

After Malfoy's obvious stupidity Greengrass had burst into laughter along with Pomiodes while a pug face girl who was probably a Parkinson scowled and Crabbe and Goyle (it was pathetically obvious who their parents were) guffawed dumbly. Plainly, neither knew what was happening. Voldemort almost pitied them_. Barely_ _Almost._ He was much more revolted.

Malfoy then said, "So _Jack,_" Voldemort had frowned in confusion, "how are your filthy muggle relatives doing? I don't know how you can stand the smell. I suppose that you remember what your mudblood mother smelt like, did you?

Voldemort had felt the sudden desire to _curio_ the bloody idiot.

"Hmm. No, I don't think so. And it's '_don't you_,' not '_did you_.' Just so you know."

Voldemort had thought that that moment would have been an appropriate one to clap.

Malfoy sneered. "Oh, you think _your _grammar is better than mine?"

Harry looked at the pale boy, seemly confused, but Voldemort could see the amusement in his eyes. "Certainly not! I know my grammar sucks like a fat kid with a milkshake. But don't worry, Rodolfo, just as long as you eat your cheese, that won't happen to you."

Voldemort had snorted earning a sharp glance from Snape. _What in the world was Harry on about?_

Malfoy hadn't seemed to know either. "What?"

Pomiodes had then leaned forward with a manic light in her eye. "You wouldn't taste good. You'd be colorless, an albino. Sad. Really sad. I can't _stand_ it when my food is colorless!"

"Ah…" Malfoy had actually leaned back, eyeing the girl warily.

Voldemort hadn't known what was going on.

"I wonder if he'd have red eyes…" Harry had mused.

Pomiodes then hummed in agreement. "That would be interesting. We should test it. Hedwig could have him."

"I don't know. I wouldn't want her to get sick. I'll get you your butterflies tomorrow, by the way."

Pomiodes had beamed. "Yes!" She then looked back at Malfoy. "For some reason he," here she had jerked her head at Harry, "doesn't want to eat any butterflies with me."

Voldemort really didn't have a clue what they were talking about.

"_Anyway_," Harry had said with a roll of his eyes, "I heard that different species of rodents fight all the time. Is that why you and the Weasleys don't get along?"

Voldemort had then choked on his dinner. It took him a few moments of assuring the other professors that he was alright.

"Oh my Shesha! Guess what?"

Voldemort had frowned. He knew that name from somewhere.

"Ooh! I know! Someone is eavesdropping on us!" Harry had said in a sing-song voice.

The Dark Lord had frozen.

"Yep! Guess who?"

"Voldemort!" The two had sung loudly.

Some children gasped and squawked. Some idiot third-year fell off the bench.

The Dark Lord's mind exploded in escape plans and distractions and-

And Voldemort couldn't even think. Was his plan ruined already, just because he wanted to hear what the boy said?

Malfoy, in his usual sneering voice said, "The Dark Lord isn't here."

Harry had laughed. "Yeah he is, Rodolfo. But that's okay. Dumbledore- quite obviously- purposely lured him into the castle so that he could test me. Old coot. But I don't plan on saving whatever he brought here. Oh well." He waved his hand around like he was swiping at a fly.

"You're bloody mad, Potter."

Voldemort had to agree with both of them.

"Weren't we past this? I know that, Draco," Harry had said slowly, like he was speaking to a four year-old. "But I'll make a bet with you that Dumbledore says something about a part of the castle that we're not allowed to go to because it'll cause us to die. And I bet that the older students will say that he never said anything about it before."

"Fine," Malfoy had snapped, "If you lose you have to stand in front of the whole Great Hall and declare that you're insane."

The boy had grinned wickedly. "Okay. If you lose- and you will- you have to tell the whole Great Hall at a feast, so that everyone is there- could be now, could be Halloween, could be the leaving feast- that you were wrong about the Weasleys, how they're the perfect purebloods, and how if it takes everyone to be a blood traitor to bring the Wizarding World back to the way it should be then that is your goal in life. You will also apologize to them about making fun of their finances and you have to be nice the whole time. And not sarcastic. If you aren't then I'm allowed to hang up '_Draco Malfoy Still Sleeps with His Stuffed Dragon_' posters everywhere without a complaint from you, or you trying to take them down whether with the help of someone else or yourself."

Malfoy had gaped. Voldemort wanted to applaud.

"How did you know that!" The Malfoy heir had squeaked out.

"Know what?"

"Everything! The Weasleys and-" He then broke off, pink rushing to his cheeks.

Harry had hummed cheerfully (people seemed to be doing that a lot lately). Voldemort saw all the Slytherins around them peering intently as them with smirks on their faces and he knew that they were gathering black mail notes.

"Draco, Draco, Draco. You silly, silly, little boy. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you were making fun of the weasels. I told you that different species of rodents fight all the time! And for your stuffed dragon… well, it's all in your name. And you just confirmed it."

"No I _didn't_!" Malfoy had snarled.

"Didn't what?"

"I didn't say I have a stuffed dragon!"

"Do you?"

"Yes! I-I mean, _no_!"

Harry had smirked. "Are you sure? I could have sworn you said '_yes_'."

Sniggers had rippled through their little crowd.

Malfoy spawn had glared, his whole face now flushing and leaned in and hissed, "You'll pay for this, Potter."

"I will? How much? I think that was worth a Knut. After all itwas _your _stupidity."

Voldemort had choked on his food again (he couldn't just sit there staring at the boy without moving- it would have caused attention) as he saw Harry toss a little bronze coin at Malfoy. He quickly waved off the concerned professors and turned back to Slytherin table.

Malfoy looked furious.

"Ever heard of Tom Sawyer?"

"What? No!"

"How sad. You kinda remind me of him, except you aren't as smart. And you depend on your father to get what you want. So you take it?"

"Take it? The stupid Knut? No!"

Malfoy had flung the coin back across the table at the boy's head. Harry had caught it with relative ease.

"No," Harry had replied matter-of-factly. "The bet. Do you agree with the conditions?"

"Yes!" Malfoy had then paused and looked at Harry incredulously. "Did you just trick me?"

"Trick you? What's the need in that if you think you are going to win? If you were so confident you would have accepted. And you did. Oh, and just so you know, I would have stood in front of the Great Hall and told everyone I was crazy anyway. You need to learn how to negotiate."

Harry then reached over a grab a cookie, which had just appeared with the deserts, and took a bit while raising an amused eyebrow at Malfoy.

Voldemort had been suddenly glad that if he anyone had be the cause to his loss of body, it was Harry Potter.

Harry and Pomiodes then switched topics to the weather and science, complaining how none of the purebloods knew what they were talking about. When the desert was finished Dumbledore stood up for the annual announcements. Stay away from the forest, restrictions on using magic, and Quidditch. Voldemort always wondered if that moronic sport was to fill the void of intellect, reason, and meaning to life that the fanatic fools seem to have.

Now, Dumbledore was getting to the close of his speech.

"… And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death."

Pomiodes started snickering but it soon grew to full out hysteria which was echoed by everyone that was in hearing distance of Harry and Malfoy's little spat. Harry just smirked at the shell-shocked boy opposite of him. Voldemort snorted into his goblet again.

Oh, for Salazar's sake! He really needed to work on his Occlumeny.

(It doesn't help one's shield to be a spirit that doesn't have or need any shields. It was only when he was possessing Quirrell like this could he feel the dilapidated remains of his ones strong walls were as Quirrell actually had the magic that he was missing)

Dumbledore seemed bemused. His eyes were twinkling, like always. The Dark Lord's lips twitched as the thought of what Dumbledore would say if _he_ found the spell that Dumbledore uses and cast it on himself when they went into battle; just the look on the old man's face would be enough.

"I assure you that what I said was true."

Pomiodes shook her head giggling and said, "That's not what we're laughing at, sir. Though, I think that Draco has an announcement to make. Draco?"

Malfoy shot the girl a fierce glare. Harry started humming that tune again.

A moment of silence expect for the boy's humming which the Dark Lord was sure that none other than himself and Pomiodes could hear.

"Oh!" Harry said loudly, making many children jump. "I have something to say! Though I won, I want to say that I am insane. I know; totally not shocking. We can wait til Halloween for Draco to tell us what he has to- unless, of course, he wants me to hang up-"

"Okay, okay!" Malfoy looked like he swallowed a lemon. It seemed that he knew the consequences would be worse if he said it later. He glanced around the watchful hall and gulped. "I… I apologize," it looked like the words were quite painful, "to the Weasleys. I had… no right… to say anything of your home life and money. If…" Here a disgusted look overtook his features, "If all purebloods were like the Weasleys the world would be a better place. If we all have to accomplish this by being blood traitors then I make it is my… life long goal to turn them all."

The hall was so silent that you could hear a feather if it dropped. The sea of red haired boys at the Gryffindor table were simply gawking at the blonde boy like the rest of the students. Dumbledore looked at the young Malfoy in high astonishment, but his eyes were twinkling madly. Voldemort had to press his lips together in a thin line. He was trying not to laugh so hard he probably made Quirrell look like he was trying to pass a kidney stone.

Then Harry and Pomiodes started to clap slowly. Then all the first years at the Slytherin table were clapping. All the first years at all the tables. And their clapping rose to an earsplitting standing ovation as the older students joined in. Even the Slytherins, though some weren't looking at Malfoy, they were looking at Harry Potter, calculating, just like Voldemort was.

The Dark Lord knew the second that the boy started to clap that he was planning something and that something had to have all the other Houses like Draco Malfoy.

Brilliant. Even if he couldn't fathom way the boy needs to do that.

"Well!" Dumbledore cried joyfully as he settled the students down. "Mr. Malfoy, let me say that it took much courage to admit that you were wrong. I award twenty points to Slytherin for your honesty and conviction (Voldemort snorted into his hand making it look like a cough)." Another round of clapping scattered through the hall. Malfoy was now bright pink, looking dumbstruck. "And now, before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" Dumbledore cried. The other teachers' smiles had become rather fixed. Voldemort could sympathize with that.

As Dumbledore had the school singing that blasted song Harry leaned over to Malfoy and spoke quietly and swiftly so none other then Malfoy could hear- and Voldemort.

"Just so you know, I didn't set the conditions were you had to do it right away. You could have told everyone beforehand that you didn't mean it, even if you had to be nice while saying it. You also didn't have to do it right then because none of the upperclassmen told us that Dumbledore hadn't done that before. So, you ask if I trick you? Well, that's a matter of opinion. To me, no. I gave you the tools to make that little announcement as comfortable as possible and you didn't take it. Remember how I asked you how did you already know if you're on my third-side? Well, your not now. You're on a different one. You just have to figure it out. By the way, I have much more then three sides. And five of them aren't even real."

Voldemort was impressed. And that took lot.

After the old man dismissed the students with a cheerful, "Off you trot!"

"What, are we horses?"Harry muttered before he spoke to a stunned Malfoy again, the scramble of the children covering his voice.

"You might also be wondering why I am actually am telling you this instead of keeping it to myself and gain an upper hand of you not being able to pick out someone manipulating you- mostly me. Well, honestly, it makes you really sloppy to know how much you screwed up. Then again, I must have another motive of telling you this, don't I? But you can never trust me when I say something, can you, since I already told everyone how I'm dishonest and how I'm insane. Who knows how my brain works? So you're gonna have to figure this one out for yourself. Sorry." The boy finished, not sounding sorry at all.

Malfoy looked like someone who was told that Pityocamptes would call himself Sinnis then deny that that's his name, then bend down a tree to fling himself into the air and telepathically force Malfoy to lick Sciron's feet.

_Forget impressive_, Voldemort thought, _forget killing him. Harry Potter is going to be my second whether or not I have to drag him to the top kicking and screaming. _He already had the perfect plan forming in his psychopath head of his on how to get Harry to join his side.

Too bad he didn't know that Harry Potter was already five steps ahead of him- though he was about to find out.

_**Preview:**__ Teachers galore! Oh, I do feel bad for them._

_*Yes it was the Harry Potter Theme Song. I couldn't help it, it just popped into my head at that moment/s and I had to put it down._

_I know I said that I'd put Sophos classes in here but I spent too long on the sorting and I have a really long first week planned out so… To bad!_

_Before someone tells me, I know that Voldemort is OOC! But it will be explained- plus I'm not so sure I can do a good Voldemort anyway. I'll work on it._

_Hah! First look at what Cineraceus Mors might be! When I wrote the school song I had it different but I didn't like it so I changed it to that (which I wrote at one in the morning). Just for the record, I really don't like that poem- ugh._

_Rodolfo was a ferret name that I looked up._

_Hmm… the language thing again. Well, I decided that since the Founders probably did speak Welsh or something old and barely legible (to me)- and I had no idea how to understand that and how I didn't have Sophos learn it before- then I might as well have something weird happen were Sophos can decipher parts. Err. More will be explained in future chapters._

_Am I having the first years overreact to Sophos? Uh, yeah! You should have seen (read- whatever) what I had planned out at first because it included some Unbreakable Vows and a ritual that the ghosts preformed. Heh, and you thought the rant that Sophos gave was over the top, didn't you!_

_What else? Uh, yeah, I sorta got Selynda out of her shock a bit too fast… Oh well._

Krazyfelinelover_ let me just say that you really know how to flatter someone- you should be a sales person._

_And _Nimbus_, first, thanks! And I have to say I completely agree you and when I saw your review I burst out laughing because before I saw what you wrote I had actually changed the summery- but all I can really tell you is that, either way, my summery sucks._ :D

_Thanks for the reviews and actually reading through this story! (Warning: it might drive you as insane as Selynda is- AHH! Just kidding- no one is as insane as Selynda)_

_-Vayah_


	8. What Figures

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

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**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 7: What Figures_

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_I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, _

_But I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant._

_~Robert McCloskey_

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Sophos felt worse than insulted. He felt ready to rip off the face of whoever decided to walk by at the moment.

Not only did he have to share a room with a bunch of mindless children, but he had to actually _talk _to them unless he wanted their complaints to reach Bat Grease's ears and get dragged to a meeting, possibly with the headmaster, and have to deal with a detention that'd he surely get.

He really _hated_ people. He couldn't believe he was just figuring this out. His best friend was a _snake _for Shesha's sake! Sorta obvious that he didn't like humans if the person he liked the most was almost everything opposite of what he could stand. Loud. Annoying. Impatient. Reckless. Loud. Irrational. Loud.

That isn't to say that Sophos didn't know that he could be loud, annoying, impatient, reckless, irrational to logic in favor of his own world but that didn't mean he wasn't allowed to disdain others who had those faults. Human nature, no?

Or fish nature.

Hard to tell. Sophos supposed it depended on the fish.

Like a Siamese Fighting Fish. They couldn't even be in the same tank without devouring each other!

Ah, the wonders of aquatic life. Cuttlefish.

Sophos decided that he needed some time away from Selynda. Maybe just duck tape her mouth.

Or stop watching movies. Shouldn't be too hard as he was at Hogwarts. Without movies. Without TV's. Without the radio. Without electricity.

Sure, he normally didn't use any of that (except electricity) and usually went off with a book, but still…

Sophos was going to go insane here. More so than he already was.

"Hey, Potter-!"

"If you are going to say anything offensive or what may be offensive to me, just shut up. I'm tired and I have a headache. And my name is _Harry_, not _Potter_. Potter was my father. He was also called Sir or Mister, if you were wondering. Granted, my name is awful and was just_ asking_ for me to be hairy which came true with this mope on my head but, quite unfortunately, that so happens to be the title that human beings proclaimed me to be so they wouldn't have to address me as '_the baby_' or '_the boy_' or '_that little kid with the black hair_.' Soo, it's, say it with me now, _Harry_."

Sophos turned to see the black boy that was in the compartment with him, Selynda and the other masochist children. He was just staring at Sophos then said, "I was just going to ask you which bed you wanted."

"Oh. Awkward. But at least we accomplished that my name is Harry." Sophos said cheerfully. "I was confused. Between Jack, Thanatos, James, Avalon, Sophos and Mr. Smith it could get disorienting."

The boy stared at him again. Sophos kept the _'innocent beaming little monkey'_ face on as he dived stealthily into the dark depths. Translucent images flashed through Sophos mind, alien feelings and foreign thoughts were tugged and pushed away.

A smile (more like an evil knowing grin) slowly spread across the boy's face.

"I can see why you were placed in Slytherin."

"What's that supposed to mean, oh Lord of the Flames?"

The boy's smile vanished and his eyes hardened as he looked at Sophos warily. "Lord of the Flames?"

"You know. Blaise Zabini. Like a blaze of fire. Fire has flames. Get it?"

"How did you know my name?" Blaise demanded harshly.

Sophos wondered which one he was referring to.

"Well, you just confirmed it and I was also at the sorting, but that isn't the answer you want. If you must know, I used an ancient art of Dark Magick that lets me read your mind and is illegal. Only if you get caught, of course. Snape and Dumbledore do it all the time. I don't see_ them _hauled off to Azkaban."

Blaise's expression cleared and he snorted. "Good one, Po-Harry. You almost had me for a moment. Like Dumbledore would ever do any Dark Magic. I would have believed you though, if you kept it at Snape."

"Gee really?" Sophos asked, careful to keep his sarcasm out. "And here I thought that Magick was Magick. And that I was eleven. Thanks for the enlightenment. It really helps. Unless I actually told you the truth 'cause I knew you'd never believer it. Then again, I could just be saying that I was telling the truth to make you think I lying so that I could tell you I was telling the truth so that you freak out and make yourself look like an idiot. Or, I could have just said all this to confuse you and make you doubt your judgment."

Blaise stared at him again. Sophos never knew he was so pretty.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos was sure it was about two o'clock. He couldn't sleep.

So far he had exhausted himself with books, drawing, and doing random things, such as doing a handstand leaning against the wall that was behind him. Nothing worked. He had a headache.

Something rustled nearby and the sound of someone moving reached his ears. Sophos frowned. Was someone up already? Maybe it was actually five.

Sophos jumped, letting out a yelp as a head poked through his hangings. Without drawing them back.

_§Shh! Sorry, I just couldn't sleep, so I was wondering if you wanted to explore the castle or something.§_

Sophos heartbeat slowed and he glared up at Selynda. _§It's two in the morning and I really don't want to get a week of detention on my first week.§_

He could make out Selynda rolling her eyes. _§No,§_ She whispered, _§It's only midnight. And do teachers really expect kids to be roaming around on the first night when everyone is really tired?§_

_§Isn't that the point? Someone will be around because they think that the kids will think that it's the perfect time to be out?§_

_§No!§_ Selynda snapped, suddenly impatient. _§They wouldn't because of the feast. People get sleepy from food and everyone is stuffed up. Maybe that's why we couldn't sleep or maybe it's from the Magick around here- it's everywhere.§_

_§Maybe. But I have a really bad headache.§_

_§I did too, until I started walking around. Who knows, who cares?§_

_§Wait!§_ Sophos exclaimed in a whisper,_ §So the castle doesn't prevent you from going through solid objects?§_

_§Uh, I only tired the doors and these curtains or whatever. I'm not so sure about the walls yet. We shouldn't try for a few days so we can study the knitting work with the Magick Strands. C'mon!§_

Selynda seized his arm and yanked him through his hangings and out the door before he could even open his mouth to protest.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_§Oh yeah,§_ Sophos hissed sarcastically next to the faint light so that the spitting of the torches would cover the sound of him speaking, _§You were right. _No one_ would decide to patrol the hallways. I am _so _sorry.§_

_§Oh, shut up.§_

_§What's the point of that if I can still make noise when I close my mouth?§ _Sophos asked snidely.

Selynda shot him a fierce glare and kicked him in the shin. Thankfully, Snape sneezed at the exact same time that Sophos yelped.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A very tired boy with black hair trudged through the common room to go up to the Great Hall. Even when he got back from his early morning stroll with Selynda he couldn't sleep. So he figured six thirty was a reasonable time to be allowed to walk around the castle. Possibly.

As Sophos was about to slouch through the entrance, it opened up reveling someone dressed in all black. Sophos blinked and looked up into the face of ol' Bat Grease.

"Professor," Sophos said in a monotone that covered his sleepiness.

"Potter," Snape said suspiciously. "What, may I ask, are you doing up at this time?"

"I'm an early riser. So I rose early. Strange, don't you think, sir, how that works out?"

Snape glared. "Don't be smart with me, Potter."

Sophos looked up innocently. "So you want me to be stupid, professor? That's a strange teaching method. I'm sure it'll work out for you."

Sophos stepped to the side to walk around him but Bat Grease blocked him again. Bat Grease bent down and looked Sophos in the eye, so close that their noses were almost touching.

"Don't you _dare_ play games with _me_, Potter. I know it was you that was slinking around last night." Sophos wished this man had some breath mints on him. "And be warned, Potter, that you will not get away with it again. If I see you going against my rules I will see to it that you are _expelled_. Clear?"

"Crystal. You are under the impression that I was out of bed yesterday, even though I was in there all night." Completely true. He wasn't out last _night_. He was out today though, early in the morning. "I honestly don't know what made you think of me," That he didn't know. "But I assure you, Professor, that I am not suicidal, and therefore I will not disobey your rules." That he knows of.

Sophos felt a light probing to his shields as he stared into the onyx eyes. Confident in what the hat said, Sophos pushed forward his serenity that he was, in fact, in the dormitory last night.

Some emotion flickered across Snape's face. It could have been surprise or anger, but Sophos didn't know.

"Very well," Snape said grudgingly straightening. "Let this be a warning then, Mr. Potter."

"Of course, Professor."

Sophos loved how all adults were idiots. It was so fun.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Draco tired not to sit across from Sophos, he really did, but he didn't succeed. I hadn't helped that Zabini and Nott had raced him for the opposite end of the table to assure their seats, making it positive that they were far away from the insane Boy-Who-Lives-To-Scare-People.

(They could not just simply sit with the upperclassmen- they'd have to assert themselves in a place of authority or a coveted position of a 'helpful' hand. Then, of course, they'd move on to being equals to the third years, in which the older years would be impressed and decided that they can stay where they are and/or take them under their wing to instill Slytherinness in the future generations. The top of the schoolmates in classes, sports, and politics could not just_ not_ pass on their genius- but they could restrict what they give, naturally. No self respecting Slytherin would just hand in all their cards- that would be _so_ Hufflepuff.)

Sophos didn't mind. In fact, he decided to help those two out by discreetly tripping Malfoy over his robes with a flick of his fingers when it looked as though he would win. And, of course, he had to have his faithful gargoyles protecting him, so Draco ended up right where he was last night. Pity. His bodyguards seemed to forget, or can't comprehend, that harm can come from the front and back of their mast-err- leader.

Right now Sophos was happily eating his paper thin sliver dollar pancakes that were practically drowning in syrup. He thankfully had orange juice, curtsey of the House-Elves, instead of that nasty poison. He wondered vaguely why Voldemort would eavesdrop on his conversation again (a minute ago he felt the listening charm go back up now that he was expecting it). After all, Moldy Shorts heard how they knew it was him and he didn't know how they did, so you'd think he wouldn't in fear of being ferreted out. Maybe he didn't care.

Sophos internally squirmed. Was Voldemort just here to kill him…? No. That wouldn't make any sense. Whatever it was that McGonagall picked up that was now in the third corridor was what he wanted.

(Sophos decided not to pay attention to the voice in his head that said he probably was trying to get whatever it was to kill him, or _so_ that he could kill him. Although it did raise the interesting theory that he'd need a body to murder him- Sophos filed that away for later even when he was sure he was ignoring himself… Erm…)

Voldemort was probably just listening onto his conversations to see how dangerous he was or find his weaknesses-

Oh crap! He was such a smartass yesterday. Great. Just great, now Voldemort would know for sure that he was messing with Bat Grease and Cat Lady! And it wasn't such a comfort that he'd have to go to class in the same room as that man- err, not really man. What does a person call someone who possesses a gullible idiot? A spirit? Opportunist?

Sophos stopped and frowned down at his plate. Oh no! He should have waited until dinner to eat! Now he couldn't. Damn.

Once again, Sophos thoughts traveled off into pondering why people think that some words are so offensive that they began to call them 'curse,' or 'swear,' or 'cuss' (which he just thought sounded like puss- how _revolting_) words. Maybe religious ergot losers decided that some words were '_unholy_' or… something. Or maybe people just needed some words to slander and belittle other people. Who started calling people, 'bitch,' anyway? That's just a female dog. It would be more insulting to say that the woman was a male dog, right? And girls find dogs and puppies with their disgusting slobbery goop and enormous droppings and smelly fur everywhere, cute (Ripper really hadn't made him so fond of pooches), so why is it used as a gab? And a jackass was a horse. Okay, it was a donkey, but close enough. Wasn't he Shrek's sidekick? You'd think that people would warm up to it!

It doesn't make any sense.

Well, it sorta did if you were thinking of how people calling others animals, but it was ironic seeing as humans _are _animals. Shesha, people are stupid!

Sophos viciously stabbed at one of his pancakes in annoyance at the human mind and all of its illogical proneness at the view of the world (he conveniently forgot that he was of the species).

"Judging by the way you're literally attacking your pancakes, you're thinking of something that involves some overblown proportion of vanilla."

Sophos looked glumly up at Selynda as she plopped down next to him.

"Yes," He said solemnly. "Remember that nun from that cat place?"

"Yeah."

"She understands. She had the most amazing vocabulary I've ever heard. Let us pray she rocks the world with her interpretive walking stick."

"Ahem to that, brother." Selynda said just as grimly.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Quirrell slipped unnoticed into the Great Hall and sat at the teachers table. The Potion's Master through a disgusted look at his nervous colleague who was stuttering a greeting and scooted his chair a bit away from him.

The Dark Lord at the moment was tired. He used a lot of energy last night listening to Harry Potter prattle- though it was worth it. And he was going to have to use even more now that he figured out how to without Quirrell listening in while Quirrell had control of the body.

Lord Voldemort had fabricated what he thought was his most brilliant plan (therefore, the most brilliant plan the world had ever known) to get Harry Potter to join his side. And all right under the old coots crooked nose!

If Voldemort had been the dominant spirit in Quirrell's body at the moment he would have been unable to stop an evil cackle.

About thirty minutes later, Harry Potter slouched in, looking distantly grumpy and sleep deprived. Voldemort, with the finesse that could only come with years of practice, maneuvered his way through Quirrell's mind and right into his magical reserves where he took just enough for his usage. Carefully, he shot a charm at the Slytherin table, creating in an eclipse in Quirrell's senses, visual and auditory, so that the effects of the spells would be lost on the fool.

The boy sat down, narrowed his eyes suspiciously at nothing in particular and raised a hand to his forehead. Then he suddenly clasped both hands in his lap and just stared unseeing at the ceiling for about five minutes, and before Voldemort could properly ponder on the boy's strange behavior, Harry looked at the table and spoke. "Hey, can I have orange juice, and sliver dollar pancakes? But I want them to be thin, really, really thin because it doesn't make sense to have a puffy pancake when the saying is, 'it's as flat as a pancake,' know what I mean? Syrup, too, of course, but no butter, please, because that's just gross. You can take your time; I'm not in any hurry."

That surprisingly made sense. Voldemort was expecting something more interesting after last night.

As the Dark Lord watched him, he began to grow impatient. So far, all he learned was that Harry Potter liked to dump his syrup in designs and make a puddle for them to be dipped in even though the pancakes were already drowning in the syrup.

Just as Voldemort was starting to get twitchy and maybe consider sending a jinx or two over to the boy and see how he'd react, Malfoy, a weedy-looking boy who he thought was a Nott, and who was likely a Zabini plowed through children who were in the way, shoving and jostling each other, obviously racing to get a seat. He watched bemused, figuring they were trying to get a seat near Harry but was mildly surprised when it became apparent that they were attempting to get_ away _from the boy.

So he was downright shocked when the boy flicked his fingers vaguely in their direction and saw the Malfoy spawn trip over his robes and land on the stone with an _oomph_. Harry smirked devilishly. Voldemort felt elated.

About twenty minutes after the little sprint (with Voldemort furiously thinking on Harry's abilities. Wandless Magic for Salazar's sake! True, he could do some when he was the boy's age, but that wasn't the point), a very reluctant Malfoy was slumped in his spot picking at his food, a sour look on his pointy face, as his two cronies lumbered in and sat in the available spots on either side of the blonde. Harry went on eating, apparently oblivious to the hostile looks Malfoy kept sending his way. Voldemort didn't know that there could be so many pancakes.

As the Dark Lord watched, Harry's face became increasingly agitated with each passing moment as he vehemently stabbed his pancakes. He wondered if the boy actually noticed the looks Malfoy was giving him, but the boy didn't seem concentrated on that; his eyes where glazed over and he wasn't looking at all in the brat's direction.

_What was he thinking?_

"Judging by the way you're literally attacking your pancakes, you're thinking of something that involves some overblown proportion of vanilla."

Voldemort started (mentally). He hadn't seen Pomiodes approach the boy; he was too focused on trying to figure out what the boy was upset over that he forgot to be aware of his surroundings. Spending a decade in solitude could do that to a person- even the greatest sorcerer in the history of magic.

Only after he made a mental note to pay more attention did he go over what the girl had said. _Vanilla_? Really?

Pomiodes sat herself on his left, like she had at the sorting. Harry looked at her despondently, Voldemort amusingly noted. It was a far cry from the furious expression that was upon his features a moment ago.

"Yes," Harry said gravely despite the absurdity of the statement. "Remember that nun from that cat place?"

Voldemort did the equivalent of raising his eyebrows without a body. _Please don't tell me he is going to go off on a Gryffindoreish rant of the holiness and goodness of the church or start on about some poor old lady needing help._

"Yeah." Pomiodes promoted.

Harry, naturally, surprised the Dark Lord again.

"She understands. She had the most amazing vocabulary I've ever heard. Let us pray she rocks the world with her interpretive walking stick."

"Ahem to that, brother." Pomiodes agreed grimly.

Voldemort didn't even think he really wanted to know.

"Good morning," Voldemort started again as he saw Greengrass coldly take the seat on Harry's right like yesterday. "How did you two make it in here so fast? I got lost twice."

"All you have to do was follow the main corridor and go up. It wasn't so hard."

Greengrass huffed hauntingly and waved her hand in dismissal and leaned around the boy to look at Pomiodes. "So, Selynda, where were you last night? I had to use the loo and when I got back I noticed you weren't in bed."

The Dark Lord set his attention to the girls, taking his eyes away from the boy as he mouthed something to the ceiling.

Pomiodes didn't answer Greengrass, just stared at her before she said, "Did you honestly just say, 'loo?'"

Greengrass just raised an elegant eyebrow. "Bathroom?"

"Yeah, I know, but why '_loo_?'"

"British, Selynda." Harry said idly.

"I _know_. But it's still weird." Pomiodes finished with a shrug.

"Why do you have American accents?" Greengrass asked interestingly, seeming to forget to be an ice queen, looking from Pomiodes to Harry. "I heard you went to live with muggles, but I didn't hear that you left the country."

Voldemort leaned forward- or he would have- and looked intently at the boy.

"Oh, I didn't. I only really talk to Selynda so her accent stuck with me."

Greengrass looked slightly puzzled and turned to Pomiodes and asked, "So, you lived in the States?"

"For a bit. I was born in Australia. I think. I'm not too sure… It might have been South America or around here."

Greengrass raised her eyebrow again and looked on the verge of asking how she didn't know where she was born and how she could believe it was on three entirely different places, but decided against it. "Half-Blood?"

"You could say that."

Greengrass frowned a fraction but kept her pureblood mask up. Pomiodes continued.

"Technically you could say I'm a half-_breed_."

Greengrass looked startled and shot the girl a wary glance. Harry sighed.

"Can you ever keep your mouth shut, Sasha?"

"Sure. Um. Why Sasha?"

"It's a diminutive of Alexandra."

"Ah. But my middle name is just Alexa."

Harry shrugged and causally sipped his orange juice. "Do I look like I care?"

Pomiodes peered intently at him. "Yes. Yes you do. Change it around a bit. Then you'll like it. When am I getting my butterfly?"

"Today, like I said. We have Herbology later, I think. What about Shia?"

"SHY-uh? How you spell that? Like the branch in orthodox Islam? S-H-I-A?"

"Yup."

Voldemort raised his eyebrows. He was sure that normal eleven year olds didn't know about Muhammad or the Ahl al-Bayt.

"Hmm…" Pomiodes said thoughtfully, "What about, SHY-luh? Spelt S-H-I-L-A instead of with a Y."

"Is that even a real name?"

"Yeah, I think so. Besides, is my first name a real name?"

"…Good Point. Shila it is then."

Pomiodes beamed. "Good, but only you. Anyone else would be really weird."

Harry nodded and smirked. "You realize that you have eight names now."

Pomiodes raised her brow. "No. It's a nickname, so I still have seven."

"You sure? When you named me it was official."

"I…" Pomiodes trailed off, a faraway look of confusion on her face. "I don't know. But I shouldn't have eight, its bad luck."

"Okay. That could be your code name."

Pomiodes raised her eyebrows. "And the people who are listening?"

Harry paused. "Marv and Marzanne. Marv is shortened from his name, and Marzanne from the Slavic Goddess of Death and Winter."

Pomiodes grinned evilly. "Me like."

Greengrass looked outraged, completely dropping all her pureblood upbringings masks. "What did you call me!"

Voldemort stared. Marv. Marvolo. He feebly wondered how this kid could know his real name when he obviously doesn't have a relationship with the old man.

(Of course, he'd never admit that he'd done anything _feebly_. Heaven Forbid.)

"Marzanne," Harry said slowly, like how he spoke to Malfoy yesterday. "I called you Marzanne."

"Wait!" Pomiodes said. "Don't forget the Bardus Bestia's and Superbus. But they aren't able to, at the moment obviously."

"Wha- oh!" Harry laughed.

The Dark Lord puzzled over these words for a moment before it came to him. It was Latin roughly translated for, Stupid Animals and Arrogant.

"Io bisogno stai per iniziare italiano, Sophos." Pomiodes said thoughtfully, changing the subject.

Voldemort knew enough Italian to know that she said, 'I need you to start Italian, Sophos.' Although he didn't know where she got 'Sophos' from. That is what she probably calls Harry. Isn't that what the goblins also named him? Sophos… a Biblical name meaning wise and sagacious? Or is it also the term sophos, or "wise men?" Or the Greek name Σοφός, meaning clever and skilled?

(Just because he didn't believe in God and hated muggles didn't mean he didn't read the bible to see human idiocy and clues to history and Old Magic ways. For one thing, Voldemort was thoroughly convinced that Jesus was a Necromancer, but that's a story for another time.)

"Um… you want to teach me Italian."

"What gave it away?"

"Italiano. And the language."

"Figures."

"So what's my name?"

Pomiodes raised an eyebrow. "Sophos."

"_Noo_. I need a nickname, too."

"I'll think on it. Anything you want to ask, Daphne?"

Voldemort looked to Greengrass and was interested to see the girl with wide eyes and a slightly constipated look. She jumped when Pomiodes called on her.

"Oh, no, no. I'm fine." Her voice was too high.

Pomiodes lips twisted in a wry smile. "Your wondering what half-breed I am, aren't you? I'm not a werewolf, not a vampire, not a giant- obviously- not an elf, not a Veela- though I'm flattered if you thought I was- not a… What else is there? Not a centaur, not a mermaid, not an angel (Harry snorted and sniggered, "No kidding") not a-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just say it already, Selynda."

Pomiodes shot Harry an annoyed look. "I'm half Basilisk."

If Voldemort was in control of Quirrell's body he would have fallen off of the chair and had a stroke.

Greengrass was staring at the girl in horror and making strange chocking noises.

Harry sniggered.

"No your not. You're only a one third Basilisk."

"A half, a third, what's the difference?"

_What's the difference, she says,_ Voldemort thought faintly.

"Well, for one, you can't kill will your eyes."

"I can petrify if I want to. I can probably do it when I get older. And I definitely have the venom."

"And you can make it rain with pretty little rainbows. How lovely."

"_Hey_! That's not from the Basilisk part!"

"Soo? Besides, I doubt your venom is as potent as a full Basilisk."

"But it's still the venom."

"Yeah, but not_ good_ venom."

_§What freaking fifty year old Basilisk has extremely potent venom? Do tell, I'd love to know!§_

Voldemort started in Quirrell's mind so violently that Quirrell jerked and dumped his breakfast all over Snape.

Ignoring Snape's snarling and the students' stares, he left Quirrell to deal with the man and focused back on the first-years.

Thinking that Harry was about to talk in English, the Dark Lord was startled again.

(Quirrell was _not _happy. His master was either having an emotional crisis or he was deliberately trying to have Snape commit manslaughter. He was betting on the latter.)

_§How should I know? You're the snake, not me! Besides, the Wonambi in you probably diluted the effects also.§_

The girl was part snake, a combination of the King of the Serpents and the fabled Rainbow Snake that had been extinct for thousands of years. And the boy was a Parseltongue. And now he was speaking to him. The Dark Lord was obviously having a mental breakdown.

_§What do you think, Marv? Aren't you about, like, _seventy_? You should know, you hero worship Salazar Slytherin.§_

_§But he is an idiot, Sophos,§_ Pomiodes said, nodding her head wisely. She seemed to be over her anger in record time and now was amused. _§I mean, he did the stupid-ass ritual, after all.§_

_§But you barely even know what it is. Basically, you know it's a ritual.§_

Pomiodes sniffed. _§Your point? It was stupid.§_

Pomiodes glanced at Greengrass. Voldemort looked to her automatically. She seemed in shock. He would bet that he was, too.

_§You think we shouldn't have let her hear, like Malfoy and his pets?§_

The Dark Lord started again. He completely forgot that Malfoy was there at all. Now that he thought of it, he was taking the news well- too well. Obviously Harry and Pomiodes did something while Voldemort wasn't paying attention. He didn't know when that was- he was watching them the whole time.

_§Eh, I think it was nice of her to hear. She's neutral, right? Not we have awesome blackmail.§_

_§You mean good blackmail for _her_. All we can do is threaten her with being a stone until someone makes Restorative Draught.§_

_§Don't forget being crushed to death, and injected with extremely painful venom.§_

_§True. But, Snake-child, she so happens to be a Slytherin.§_

_§Yeah, but if she gets the DRCMC do you really believe they can take us?§_

Pomiodes paused. _§Well, no. But it's an inconvenience.§_

_§So is having the Dark Lord know.§_

_§Whose he going to tell? His host? _Boo hoo_! I'm_ sooo_ scared.§_

Harry laughed and said, "Okay. Anyway, Marv, I'm sure we'll talk later."

Harry and Pomiodes got up and bounced out of the hall, seemingly oblivious to the terrified stare of  
Daphne Greengrass, the confused gazes of Malfoy and his cronies (who were eating again), and the thoroughly shell-shocked Dark Lord.

As they disappeared around the corner, Voldemort's brain caught up with him.

(Not that he technically has a brain)

If those two let him and Greengrass hear them and know their secrets, then they were a part of their scheme, also. He thought of the facts.

One. Harry Potter pretends to have a British accent/pretends to have an American accent.

Two. Harry Potter pretended to be James Bond to deliberately confuse his new professors.

Three. Harry Potter- and most likely Selynda Pomiodes- knows about the stone/knows that Dumbledore is keeping something safe in the castle that he wants to steal. They also don't seem to care if he does steal it.

Four. They know that Quirrell is his host.

Five. Harry Potter is using Malfoy in some sort of recruitment/is a pawn in his game. Harry needs the boy to be liked by the other Houses and possibly disliked by Slytherin who aren't around their age level.

Six. Harry Potter wanted the upperclassmen Slytherins to notice him and see his game.

Seven. Harry Potter also goes by 'Sophos.'

Eight. Selynda Pomiodes has seven names and now the 'codename,' Shila.

Nine. Harry Potter brings up secrets to hide other secrets, such as his master plan.

Ten. Harry Potter can deduce… practically anything.

Eleven. Selynda Pomiodes is half snake- Half Basilisk and Wonambi. Unknown how she looks human if half of her blood is serpent.

Twelve. He didn't know how humans and snakes could have offspring.

Thirteen. Both children are insane, and irrational, but also logical- which doesn't make much sense, so it goes along with them nicely.

Fourteen. The boy is a Parselmouth. A possible blood relative? Or taught?

Fifteen. Harry Potter likes to confuse people.

Sixteen. When they sound sane, it is most likely a setup- like the conversation they had.

Seventeen. He wasn't entirely sure they sounded sane- his mind was fuzzy. Likely from shock.

Eighteen. He felt like an idiot because snakes and humans probably have offspring through magic- he never heard of any from a nonmagical snake (the legends of the Naga and the like) and what muggle would try?

Nineteen. Both were highly intelligent. What else is to be expected from Selynda Pomiodes if she is fifty years old?

Twenty. They were telling the truth- at least when they were talking in the ancient tongue; it is impossible to lie while Speaking.

Twenty-one. He wasn't so sure if he was repeating himself, but Harry Potter likes to confuse people, so he was probably trying to purposely befuddle_ him_.

Twenty-Two. He wondered why he_ ever_ used the word _befuddle_.

Twenty-Three. They called him Marv. They knew his name.

Twenty-Four. They seemed completely at ease knowing the Dark Lord was among them and one of their teachers.

Twenty-Five. Malfoy was looking really confused.

Twenty-Six. His two bodyguards were stuffing there maws and hadn't noticed anything amiss.

Twenty-Seven. … He couldn't remember what he was just thinking.

Twenty-Eight. Harry Potter was certainty going to give him some awful headaches in the near future.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Selynda, we forgot to get our schedules!"

"What?"

"They give them out at the Great Hall!"

"Oh…Bummer. We can't just go back in; we made an awesome dramatic exit!"

"Selynda, it wasn't such a great exit. And we can't miss our first day of school!"

"And why not? All it's going to be is, the rules _this_, and the rules _that _and what's going to be expected of the class- who cares? You already know it all!"

"_So_? We're not supposed to be attracting attention!"

A snort. "We're doing a fabulous job at it."

"Not the point!"

"Yeah it is!"

"No! We'll get in trouble- and besides, what are we going to do for the _whole day_?"

"Why the whole day?"

"Because we'll have to avoid everyone." The tone implied a _duh_.

Selynda's eyes suddenly lit up in a way that made Sophos wish he was in bed with the cover over his head.

"Hmm. My dear, sweet, Snake-child. You _love_ the truth right? When you find someone who you want an answer from, what do you do?"

"…Torture them?"

A pause. "Well, yeah, but what else?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Headmaster's Office, _

_9:30pm_

_Staff Meeting  
_

One could say that Voldemort was _not happy_.

Then you'd have to argue how it is very unlikely that he is _ever_ happy.

Then another should point out how he is a spirit who was ripped away from his body and currently possessing an idiot that is continually in Albus Dumbledore's presence.

Well, if they're going to put it_ that_ way….

Today was supposed to be the first-year Slytherin and Ravenclaw DADA class, and _guess who_ was missing.

After that class, Voldemort had swept the halls looking for those two…

_What good insults were there for two demons who liked being called names because they thought it was funny?_

… brilliant children…

_Can Pomiodes be considered a child?_

… and could find neither hair nor hide of them anywhere.

He checked the empty classroom,_ all_ the common rooms as it was a usual and idiotic mistake to not look for them there, bathrooms, kitchen and even the third door corridor! They were no where, they vanished, disappeared into-

Voldemort had to stop to consider the very real possibility that they really _had_ disappeared.

Uh no. That seemed too much like them for it_ not_ to happen.

(He couldn't believe he just thought '_uh oh_.')

If he were a ridiculously brilliant child who had insane and irrational things happen to him, where would he be?

_The Chamber of course_, he mind spoke up to him matter-of-factly, _insane and irrational things _did_ happen to you and you ended up there._

Voldemort snorted out loud (Snape whipped around with a snarl on his face). He had searched for Salazar's secret for five years, not five hours.

_No, he's been gone for _eleven _and a half hours. If Harry Potter can get all of the first years wrapped around his fingers in thirty minutes, when what do you think he's capable of for almost a _whole day_?_

The Dark Lord mentally scoffed at himself. Harry was on the train ride for hours; he had the time then to gain allies. Besides, if you were thinking like that then you'd might as well go as far as to conclude that Harry Potter had already taken over the world.

_You can't fit about thirty children in one compartment, can you? So when you think about it, the only time when he'd have time to get the children under his control would be the time that McGonagall had informed Dumbledore that the students were here and well. And Harry Potter had to have time to learn, didn't he? Wonambis were known to have an undying curiosity about magic so they stayed where it was, which is what made them easy for wizards to hunt. Basilisks were known to hide away and not be seen for hundreds of years. Put that together and what do you get? A teacher that has the knowledge of the deepest forms of magic in existence. So why waste a day learning something you already knew?_

Voldemort was about to lurch to his feet and run out of the office when Dumbledore strolled in, beaming.

Late, twinkly bastard.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom,_

_10:57pm  
_

"No, no, Sophos, your not supposed to put shilajit in… wait, no, it was a good idea, mixing it with the kava can make sedative strengthen while also causing mental clarity to gain so that the person will be somewhat unconscious while giving a thorough description of what we need."

Sophos frowned as he peered at the text.

"But it's still not part of the instructions- this is the first potion either of us have ever made, I'd rather not have to visit the hospital wing so soon."

Selynda shrugged unconcernedly. "You knew what it was."

"That doesn't change the fact that we're not sure what it'll do to the potion."

"Everything needs variations, Sophos," Selynda said calmly. "You knew what it was, so you thought it was logical to put it in. We're making it better, not worse. You're forgetting one of my first lessons."

Sophos glanced over to her, still frowning, raising an eyebrow. "Never walk behind a giant snake because you may just get hit?

Selynda huffed and rolled her eyes. "_No_. Numbers equal precision, feelings make pressure, tangible is chaotic (NFT). The exact amount of thrust makes corporeal chaos. The manifestation can't endure without flow which can't continue without authenticity."

Ah. Sophos remembered _that_. It was a memorable lesson.

The level of feeling gives the oomph to expel magic though it can't be consistently at that level without it to be part of your beliefs and without it being a certain amount of your belief. If the level is high enough, there is so much magic that it oversteps the balance scale. All magic becomes a part of Chaotic Magick, which is the magic left over- like the heat that is lost that is given off by energy. If that scale is tipped to where the Chaotic Magick gets a distinct form that can be observed by man…

Well, Sophos didn't know, Selynda never really got to it. But the point was, was that nothing could actually reach Chaotic Magick Imbalance (CMI) because it wasn't a part of anyone's views in the natural universe, and no one was stupid enough to try it even if it did have an exact number that _could possibly_ be reached. Like absolute zero. No one's gotten there just yet, or could ever, but it has probability.

But a single person couldn't grasp it because humans had flaws, and one of those flaws was that people think they're powerful enough, but aren't, and continue to believe they control magic rather then just bending it. Also, people give off magic regularly throughout the day- like a… fan. It keeps you cold, but the mechanical energy makes heat and the heat continues because the fan continues to work, just like a human body.

Sophos thought that the Earth might be a better example because it has its own heat inside it, as in geothermal, but…

So no one has enough Magick inside of them to ever put a hundred percent into NFT to make it change into the CMI.

Who knew that those three rules, NFT, were one of the deepest laws of Magick, forever in an ongoing cycle?

Selynda, apparently.

"So," Selynda continued, "Nothing really bad can happen to us because we know the fundamentals of Magick and its properties. You knew that the ingredients would bond together nicely, without any explosions, and you knew it wouldn't react to the other ingredients because none of the corresponded with the magic."

"Yeah, but it could still cause an explosion that will make up lose our eyebrows for… however long it takes to grow them back."

"Whatever," Selynda said flapping her hand vaguely. "Point is, is that you knew what to do, so shut the Hell up."

Sophos sighed and began to chop the roots that Selynda placed in front of him, forgetting what they were called.

"So what happens if you get to Chaotic Magick Imbalance, anyway?"

Selynda's reaction was _not_ what he expected.

She jumped, like he tasered her, and blanched so dramatically that he thought she was going to throw up in the potion.

(He was _sure _that snake throw up would _not_ work with their concoction.)

Wild eyes looked at him and if he wasn't in a locked bathroom stall he would have run away.

(He _was _a Slytherin after all- he had _some_ self preservation instincts.)

"Why do you ask that?" Selynda cried out in what Sophos thought she meant to be a jaunty throw-away type of voice.

Sophos just stared at her.

"Err… Never mind."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Headmaster's Office,_

_10:28pm  
_

The Dark Lord always wondered how he would die.

Of course, he took steps to prevent that, but if he ever did have to die (Which he wouldn't, of course. Not _ever_!) he hoped it wasn't _this_ way.

Even if it had to feel like it did when he was ripped from his body. Aaah. Pain beyond pain. But this was so much worse!

He didn't know how much longer he could take listening to that man talk about raspberry jam and whatever else inane thing he was prattling on about before he snapped and AK that stupid old coot. He was so homicidal that he was literally twitching from restraining himself.

"… and the color of it is just lovely, it reminds me of the time that Jake Shubter had…"

Whoever Jake Shubter was, he was going to hunt him down and kill him just because of this torture.

"…who ever thought of making the spatula that shape had to be a genius, but…"

Snape was looking like he was feeling.

"… and after that little kerfuffle, if you'd believe it, he took that water jug and…"

Voldemort wondered if the old man had made up the word, _kerfuffle_.*

"…dashing, no? What say you, Quirinus?"

It took a moment for Voldemort realized he was being spoken to.

"What say me?" The Dark Lord snapped, not even bothering to act nervous. "I say that you really need to get on with this staff meeting before I decide that Jake Shubter has seen too many days!"

Which he already had!

Oh… Not good.

The Dark Lord was about to open his mouth to try to convince Dumbledore that he didn't really mean what he had said without even the slightest idea of what he was going to say, when-

"I know!" the wizened man cried. "Ridiculous behavior if I've ever seen it! I was positively _furious_. It seemed as though they were fine, they were getting along so well." The old man shook his sadly. "And now we won't ever know what happened to Patrick!"

…What?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Four Years Later,_

_Place Unknown  
_

"What the Hell is _wrong _with Dumbledore?"

"Don't think about it. All it does is gives you a headache. Trust me, I know."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Four Years before,_

_Moaning Myrtle's Bathroom,_

_11:01pm  
_

Thankfully, after Selynda little freak out, they went back to the potion and back to a comfortable silence. Sophos was trying not to think of what made Selynda lose it (Err… could he rephrase that?).

As the liquid shimmered, the gentle simmering of the boiling surface was oddly soothing. Even the smell was pleasant, light and somewhat spicy.

The peace was broken by Selynda. "Hey, Sophos?"

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about blood?"

Sometimes Selynda had a question that would make him question hissanity about hearing the question.

"Um. It's red. And… very, um… useful."

He wouldn't even bother to inquire why she'd ask that.

"That's it?"

"What's it?"

"Don't you think it's, I don't know,_ beautiful_?"

Sophos stared at her. It felt like a trick question.

"Well, yeah, I guess. If you thought of it as paint and not someone's life force draining out of them." He sneered sarcastically.

"Ah ha!" Selynda exclaimed triumphantly. "See, see? You need therapy!"

Sophos opened his mouth to rip Selynda a new one, but he was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open and the clamber of boots. The door slammed shut and the heavy footfalls rushed over to roughly where the sink was.

Sophos and Selynda subconsciously moved closer together and Sophos held his breath.

Whoever was there couldn't really hear them- they had already silenced their stall and put on an illusion so their feet wouldn't be visible. The door was also locked, the entire thing magically sealed so that no one would be able to get in anyway, but that didn't really make him feel better.

Sophos thought that the walk had too much weight for a girl or a student- well, excluding a stocky seventh year. So he had to conclude it was a man, most likely a professor, who was raiding the girl's bathroom.

Gross.

Wizarding World officials arrest pedophiles, right?

Well, if they did, then shouldn't Dumbledore have been investigated already?

Then again, this man should know that no one would be in here because of the 'Out of Order' sign on it.

Sophos glanced over to Selynda to see her with her mouth open and her eyes closed, taking in deep, silent breaths, testing the scents. She opened her eyes and mouthed to him, '_male, late twenties_.'

So it was either Snape or Quirrell.

Snape, going into a girl's lavatory at eleven at night, for no reason? _Please_!

Quirrell who was now Quirrellmort sneaking into an abandoned part of school, where it is impossible for any magical eavesdropping devices or spells to work?

(In _Hogwarts, a History_, it explained that the Founders twisted the wards so that the bathrooms and dormitories would remain private. A blessing and a curse.)

Much more likely.

Sophos started when Selynda's hand moved in front of his face and lightly brushed against the stall wall and door. The wood rippled oddly and it was as though he could suddenly see out of a window.

Sophos glanced incredulously at Selynda and mouthed, '_How did you do that_!' but Selynda waved impatiently at the wall, turning his attention to intruder.

Yep. It was Quirrellmort. He had a weird expression on his face like he was trying to decide something important. Or like he was arguing with himself.

Then he sighed wearily and bended a little at the waist and whispered, _§Open, Chamber of Secrets.§_

Sophos and Selynda gaped as the copper tap began to glow with brilliant white light and started to spin. The next second, the sink sank right out of sight leaving what looked like a pitch black hole- probably a pipe- wide enough for a man to slide into.

Quirrellmort muttered, _§Stairs.§_

The stone creaked and then a gritty, grinding sound of rock shifting made itself be heard.

Quirrellmort stepped down into the hole, his boots slapping on the stone. He murmured in Parseltongue for the entrance to close, which it did, the sink slowly emerging from the floor.

Sophos turned, speechless, to Selynda. She looked just as shocked as he did.

They gawked at each other for at least three minutes before Sophos snapped his jaw shut and said, "Looks like I don't have to talk to the ghosts anymore."

Selynda stared at him silently for a moment before she blurted, "You've got to go down there."

Sophos through a puzzled glance her way. "Yeah, I know. The Sorting Hat said so."

"No," she said slowly and carefully. "I meant that the Naga have to bind, or whatever it said."

"What?"

"The song. You and Riddle. You have to- you know- be all buddy-buddy, unless you want Cineraceus Mors to happen."

Sophos stared at her for a moment. "What_ is_ Ciner… whatever it is?"

Her jade eyes just looked at him. "You have to be friends with the Dark Lord."

Sophos wondered when in her life she had gotten lead poisoning.

"Friends with Moldy Shorts? You may not remember this, but he _killed my parents_!"

Selynda hissed and glared at him, suddenly looking like the fearsome predatory she really was. Her eyes were beginning to glow sliver.

"You don't even care about that, and don't you dare say you do! They're just strangers to you, strangers that died in a sad way. You feel bad for them, but not enough were your going to start crying on their Death Day or on their Birthday. Even if you visit their graves you aren't going to be so sad! You're just going to feel sorry for yourself for having to live with those disgusting creatures! And yeah, he may have tired to kill you before, but it's possible that he wants you on his side now! So go down there and WORK IT OUT BECAUSE IF CINERACEUS MORS DOES HAPPEN AND YOU DIDN'T TRY THEN IT'D BE YOUR FAULT!"

Selynda seized Sophos arm painfully, burst out of the stall, opened the entrance, and flung him down without calling up the stairs. Sophos was so shocked that he didn't realize what was happening until he was falling. He heard Selynda calling:

"And you didn't get me a butterfly today, so you're getting me two tomorrow, you annoying idiot!"

* * *

_GAHHHH! WHAT IS_ WRONG_ WITH ME?_

_I know, I know! I said I would put the classes today but…. AHH! I JUST DIDN'T!_

_I _PROMISE _that I will put in the classes at the next chapter. And no, he didn't miss Transfiguration, Charms, or Potions. Actually the next chapter is going to start off with a meeting with Snape, McGonagall and Dumbledore. Yes, you will find out what happened in the Chamber._

_This chapter had a lot of potentially hurtful stuff. I really hope it wasn't offense to anyone, because that's just how I saw the characters would react and think. Sorry to those people who want me dead because I said that Jesus was a Necromancer. And I didn't even read the bible, so don't take me seriously._

_I'm sure some of you are annoyed with the names and languages. Well, so am I! I don't even know why I keep putting it in! I just saw this thing where it said that Sasha was a diminutive of Alexandra and I ended up putting it in there, for really no real reason at all. Grr! And I also didn't mean to make Voldemort and Daphne know about Selynda, but I thought of this awesome adventure that Daphne would need to know what she was, and I couldn't just leave Voldemort out because he was suppose to be listening in! And that stupid list I had Voldemort make? After I made it I didn't even read it because I was just like, 'Oh, whatever, I'll leave it in!' _

_Oh and don't think too much about my explanation about CMI and NFT because I'm not so sure I made so much sense to anyone but myself. It will be explained more later on anyway._

_Sorry for such a long wait, but school started and before that I had to shop and everything. Sigh. School's okay, but I think I do better just writing stories all day. Summer was nice._

_Thanks for the great reviews! Oh, and I know that I have a lot of errors in this story so far, but I'm not going to edit them until the whole thing is done, just incase I want to change something._

_-Vayah_


	9. Twisty Turns

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Thoughts- _Blah_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 8: Twisty Turns_

_

* * *

_

_The most effective teacher will always be biased,_

_for the chief force in teaching is confidence and enthusiasm._

_~Joyce Cary_

* * *

_Headmaster's Office_

_10:48pm_

Severus Snape breathed an inaudible sigh of relief as the blasted dunderhead, Quirrell, hurried out of the room. It was the closure to the staff meeting and Albus asked him and Minerva to stay behind.

After the door closed, Albus pulled out his wand from his sleeved and cast what Severus recognized as privacy and security wards.

Albus turned to them. "What do you think?"

"Think about what?" Minerva asked exasperatedly.

"Quirinus, of course."

"I think," Severus sneered, "That you have to switch the seating at the Great Hall, unless you want me to commit murder."

"Severus!"

Severus had to stop himself from snapping at the tabby cat that, yes, he had murdered people before and, yes, that loathsome idiot was likely to be the next one.

"But," the old man said sounding puzzled, "if we change the House Tables, how will that make you feel any better? And what does that have to do with Quirinus?"

"I meant the teachers seating! And it has to do with that disgusting excuse for a man by the fact that he can't seem to hold in his food, won't stop coughing and sneezing on me and can't even speak without that blasted stuttering!"

"Is he ill?"

Severus growled. "I never said he was, though I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he is touched in the head."

"Why do you ask anyway, Albus?" Minerva cut in impatiently. "He seems fine. Of course he is more…"

"Cowardly? Yes, I was thinking so, too."

Minerva shot a glare at Severus.

"He should have kept to Muggle Studies- that way he wouldn't have encountered the vampires in Albania."

"That," Albus said gravely, "Is exactly why I wanted to discuss with the both of you. Severus," he turned to Snape, "You remember, I trust, what I asked of you this year?"

"To keep an eye on the stuttering mess, yes." Was the dry reply.

McGonagall looked indignant, but before she could speak Dumbledore spoke.

"I do not believe that he had found vampires."

_Amazing,_ Severus thought. _That was so monumental we just had to know about it._

"Nor do I believe that his new turban had come from an African prince."

Severus just couldn't help himself.

"Of course he didn't! A bothersome zombie? What a load of dragon dune."

"Severus," Minerva said dangerously, glasses flashing. Severus wondered if she practiced that. "You may no longer be a student, but I expect you to respect your colleagues."

Severus pondered on a moment of how he could continue to anger the old cat without her attacking but the chance was taken by Dumbledore.

"Now, now, let's stay on track." Albus had a 'no nonsense' tone that Severus rarely ever heard. Only when he was speaking of-

Severus felt suddenly sick.

"For many years I have expected that Albania holds something much worse then a few vampires…"

Severus was feeling _very_ sick.

"You see," Albus continued gravely. "It is my belief that Quirinus has encountered on his traveling… Lord Voldemort."

Minerva gasped and slowing sat down with her hand over her mouth. Severus just sat frozen looking intently at the leader of the Light.

"W-what-" Minerva's voice wobbled. "What did he do to Quirinus? Why hasn't he said anything?"

Albus looked sadly at the woman. "I think that Tom has Quirinus under possession."

Minerva gasped again and held a hand to her heart. Severus was still frozen.

"That's why Quirinus is- _He _ruined his mind?"

"No, I believe that Quirinus is merely acting as the body and Tom as the mind."

That got Severus to respond. How utterly ridiculous!

"You _cannot_ be serious, Headmaster. Quirrell, the Dark Lord?" He snorted. "No matter how well the Dark Lord may have been at acting, he would never have been able to pull off the sheer idiocy and the absolute pathetic state of that dunderhead. The Dark Lord wouldn't put down his pride just to throw up his food all over me every time he sits down!"

Dumbledore peered_ very_ seriously above his half-moon spectacles at Snape. "Yes, my boy, I'm afraid it's true. Didn't you see how he reacted to my story? He was rude and impatient and claimed that he would hunt down Jake Shubter if I didn't end the staff meeting."

Severus glared. "Jake Shubter is from your soap opera; therefore, _no one_ can hunt down a fictional character. I was getting ready to tell you nearly the same thing. Besides, that was more like Quirrell. Being bored out of his mind by your stories must have been what snapped him of his fright for that moment."

Dumbledore shook his head, seemly exasperated. "The stone is in danger and that is why it is here. I wouldn't have moved it unless I thought it was a dire circumstance. I wouldn't have been worried about anyone short of Lord Voldemort."

"But no one did try to steal it!" Severus snapped. "None of the Goblins reported anything!"

But Minerva gasped. "He was with us that day! With Harry that day! Quirrell spotted us and Harry invited him to come along. If Harry hadn't…"

"If Harry hadn't what, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked urgently.

Severus wondered if Albus watched so many soap operas that he had begun to do everything dramatically.

"Harry told me to put enchantments and wards around the stone! He said… he said…"

"Here!" Albus rushed over to a cabinet and emerged with his pensive.

McGonagall pulled a strand of memory from her mind without even hesitating. The slivery substance floated leisurely down to the bowl. When he hit the surface, it rippled, like a basin full of water, as it joined the rest.

Dumbledore pulled out his wand and swirled it around until the mist came up and formed a picture.

In the image they saw the goblin open the vault and McGonagall tuck the stone into her robes with Quirrell and Potter watching intently. Severus saw, with satisfaction, that his image looked bored and impatient with the proceedings, like how he felt now.

"_Professor?"_ the brat's voice echoed through the room. He was smiling politely. _"Shouldn't you put some spells or something to make sure it doesn't fall out or that nobody is able steal it? I mean, if it was so important to have this kind of protection, surely someone would try to take it, even if you had it, right?"_

Other McGonagall looked thoughtful for a moment before she spoke with the same echoing voice,_ "Yes, I suppose. Though I assure you, Mr. Potter, none would try to steal it off of me."_

"_Whatever you say, Professor McGonagall."_

The image disputed.

"My, my. That was enlightening." Severus said snidely.

"That it was, Severus." The headmaster said gravely. "It seems that young Harry knows exactly who he was dealing with."

Severus snorted. "How so?"

Albus looked at Snape. "Because, my boy, didn't you see how Harry looked over to Quirinus when he said someone was going to take it?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "No, I don't suppose I did. He was looking at Minerva the entire time."

"His eyes went to Quirinus."

"Oh," Severus said sarcastically, "Right. His eyes did. That proves a murder mystery right there."

Dumbledore's eyes widened drastically. Severus wished he hadn't said anything.

"In the muggle newspapers it said that Danielle Bishop had been killed in her own home a month ago. It must have been Dennis Bishop's daughter! Oh, this explains everything! Tom did it!"

Snape wanted to bang his head against a stone wall. Hard.

"Albus, you are making no sense!"

"Oh, I knew I should have kept track of those two poor children…"

"Albus! We were talking about Potter!"

"Oh yes! Were they alone at anytime during the trip? Anytime at all?"

"No," McGonagall frowned. "Quirrell left after the-" She gasped again. "They must have been alone in the book shop! Harry was gone for ages and so was Quirrell!"

Snape wondered when his torture would end. He already had to endure the meeting, why couldn't he leave?

They extracted another memory.

They saw how when they got into the shop, Potter just stared around him with big eyes and a dreamy smile and wander off what looked like deep into the shop, his hands gliding over the spins as he went.

Quirrell was a distance behind him, but went in the same general direction that Potter had. Quirrell was staring at the boy the entire time. Not stuttering. Not squirming. Not twitching. Nothing.

Snape chose to ignore this and what it could mean.

The memory sent off another one of 'He is Lord Voldemort!' from Albus while Severus swiftly denied it. He was getting a book on vampires, it was back that far! Potter was a Potter, yes, but he had enough Evan's genes to know that being stalked by a Dark Lord was _bad_ and would report it if he knew!

That didn't seem to ease the old man.

"Wait!" McGonagall said so melodramatically that it was as though she was begging for a loved one to stay out of a war. "I haven't seen Harry since breakfast! Quirrell went out right after him! I overheard Pomona say that Miss. Pomiodes wasn't in class that evening, and she said someone else wasn't either and I bet that was Harry! I haven't seen them apart since they got here."

Dumbledore looked alarmed but Snape snorted. "And why didn't you take it upon yourself to find out where the girl was?"

"Because, Severus, I am not their Head of House, therefore it wasn't my responsibility to punish them for skipping a class."

"And here I thought you were the Deputy Headmistress."

"Have either of you seen Quirinus before the meeting and breakfast?"

Both shook their head in the negative, Snape with a sneer.

"Albus," Minerva said urgently, fear lacing her words. "Quirrell really wanted this meeting over and left immediately. What if he- if he-"

"Quickly," Dumbledore said, looking dangerous and ready for battle, gripping his wand. "We must find them."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_The Chamber of Secrets_

_11:21pm_

Voldemort stepped off the last stair and glanced around and waved his hand to light the torches. It looked the same, but had more dust, slime, and corpses. He wondered why the basilisk couldn't at least _try _to be more hygienic.

There was no sign whatsoever that anyone had came through here in the last fifty years.

The Dark Lord frowned. No, it was forty nine years ago. He thought. He wasn't sure what the dates were anymore. He _really_ needed to work on his Occlumeny; everything was jumbled up.

Selynda Pomiodes didn't seem all that clean, either. Not that she was _dirty_, but she had an air about her that said that she wouldn't willingly wash her hands twice a day.

It was another thing to add to his understanding of basilisk. They liked slime and hated people who were too clean. Pomiodes, after all, seemed to hate Malfoy.

Then again, with the amount of gel and grease that kid puts in his hair…

The Dark Lord was interrupted from his musing by the sound of grinding stone from up where the entrance was.

He looked at the hole in bewilderment as strange echoes reached his ears that sounded like yelling and a distant, 'idiot.'

Then the sound of a thump and something sliding on stone.

His eyes widened as he realized what it was and was about to leap out of the way when a dark shape shot out. Right at him.

The dark blur slammed into his chest, knocking the breath out of the Dark Lord.

His head spun and his vision was clouded by a black haze as he had hit the back of his head on the floor.

(Which was also his _face_.)

When he could focus, he thought, for a moment, he had been knocked silly by the fall.

(Not that he'd_ ever_ be '_knocked silly_.' That was just _ridiculous_. Ahem.)

Harry Potter was blinking dazedly on top of him, his nose about two inches from his own, with wide Slytherin eyes, right down to the small golden ring around the pupil to show that he had the Gift.

Harry seemed to focus and the boy looked down at him in surprise and glanced around the Chamber.

"Well…Nice place you've got here, Marv," Harry was looking at the slime covered bones of dead animals on the ground. He looked back at him, and with a nervous little laugh said, "Just thought I'd…drop in."

The Dark Lord felt like he should have expected this. He really should have.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Gryffindor Common Room,_

_After Breakfast_

"Oh no!"

Hermione Granger groaned as she came to the realization that she wouldn't be able to fit all her books in her book.

True, she only had Transfiguration and Charms today but that didn't mean she shouldn't bring more and be prepared.

Sighing, she pulled out, _Hogwarts, a History_, _Kelway's Guide to Understanding Your World_, _Reasoning the Unreasonable_, _Pleasant Potions_ and more that she didn't see the name of.

Checking her watch she gasped and scrambled out of the portrait hole. She was going to be late! Hermione blinked back shame filled tears (she had never been late for anything) and hurried along as fast as she could without actually running; that would be against the rules.

Somehow, she found herself to be the first in the classroom.

Hermione immediately took out her books, parchment, wand and quills and set up her work station, breathing a sigh of relief. That had been close.

It seemed forever that other students started trickling in. The odd thing was that Slytherins seemed to be coming in too, though the Gryffindores were suppose to have this class with the Ravenclaws. She kept her mouth shut while she squirmed with curiosity as she saw Malfoy and Greengrass hurry through the doors. Both seemed to be trying to get away from someone.

Hermione's eyes instantly found a girl and boy with black hair as they glided into the room. She gritted her teeth. Of course. It made sense now. It was _him_!

Jack Sparrow, a.k.a. Harry Potter, the hero against the Dark Lord. She didn't even recognize him when he was giving the other first years that speech.

Hermione wouldn't admit it but she was jealous of him. He seemed to know so much and she didn't even know what he was talking about!

Before she could continue her thoughts, Selynda Pomiodes plopped right down into the chair next to hers with Harry Potter sitting next to the girl.

"_What_?" Hermione snapped, shocking herself with the venom in her voice.

Selynda simply looked at her with an eyebrow raised and said, "That was a horrible question. You need to be more specific."

Hermione felt her face twist into a snarl and was about to start yelling without knowing what she was going to say when Professor Flitwick breezed into the room.

"Hello, students! This was originally a Ravenclaw/Gryffindor class but as of recent events," here Hermione noticed his eyes went to Harry Potter, "the Slytherins with be joining you, not only in this class but in quite a few others, as well."

Hermione suddenly felt the desire to run out of the classroom. It frightened her; she never felt like that in an institution setting before.

Professor Flitwick took roll, squealing excitingly when he got to Harry Potter's name and toppling over backwards. Hermione grounded her teeth together angrily.

"Now! Copy the notes, I'll go over them and then you can give it a shot!"

Students immediately scrambled to their bags, taking out the necessary tools. After the professor demonstrated he passed around feathers and reminded them of the wizard who ended up with a buffalo on his chest. Hermione took this all very seriously and copied word for word of what he said.

She was infuriated to see that Selynda and Harry weren't even paying attention.

Hermione decided to ignore this (while she fought the desire to break something) and looked intently at the feather and then went over the pronunciation in her head, coupled with the wand movements. She swished and flicked and said slowly and carefully, "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The feather twitched then went still.

For a second, Hermione thought she heard Selynda snicker but when she snapped her head around (scowl already in place) the girl wasn't even looking in her direction but was whispering to Harry, so lowly is sounded like hisses.

They weren't even _trying_ to levitate the feather!

"What are you two doing?" She spat. "You're not even attempting to do the class work!"

In sync both, shooting an arrogant look at Hermione, said, "We don't see how that's any of _your_ business."

Hermione glared at them. "You're distracting me!"

Harry gazed at her coldly. Hermione had to surpass as shiver that went up her spine at the look he was giving her. "Just because you can't do a spell doesn't mean that you can balm other people."

"I need concentration-"

"So concentrate. If you were so great you would be able to do it without needing quiet," Harry glanced around and turned back to her, raising his eyebrow. "I don't see anyone but _you_ complaining about us. Besides, your concentration wasn't what you went wrong with."

"Oh, really?" Hermione snarled. She didn't like him telling her she did something wrong, especially since he didn't know what he was talking about. He wasn't the teacher! "If you're so clever, why don't _you _do it? Let's see it then."

Harry simply smirked at her and turned to Selynda. "Together?"

"Of course."

Both pointed at their own feathers with their wands, not even swishing and flicking, and said calmly, "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

At once the two feathers that were on the table it front of them shot up and hovered steadily about three feet above their heads.

"Bravo!" The professor was suddenly there, clapping and squeaking excitedly. "Look here, class! Mr. Potter and Miss. Pomiodes' have done it!"

All the students turned to look at the white feathers that were still floating in the air. Whispers and mummers immediately began to spread through the room.

"That's a twenty points well earned- each- to Slytherin. Very, very well done you two!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed, beaming.

Just then the bell rung and children scurried out of the room.

"Homework, write a foot on the proper way to do the Levitation Charm and why the wand movements are important. Mr. Potter and Miss. Pomiodes," Hermione saw them turn around to look at the professor. "Both of you are exempted."

Harry and Selynda grinned at the man and thanked him before leaving.

Hermione was surprised she didn't explode in fury.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Three thousand miles away a teenage girl froze with her turkey sandwich half-way to her open mouth.

Maria stared at a blank wall, puzzled.

"I think I forgot to do something…"

She thought about it for a minute before here eyes went wide.

Pushing her chair back violently, she dashed to the front door yelling, "Son of a _Bitch_-!" leaving her poor sandwich- that hadn't even had a bite taken out- behind.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Come here, Mr. Kitty Kitty." A boy hissed.

"_Meeoww_…"

A girl scoffed quietly, "No, that'd be stupid-"

The puffy little fur ball snorted, sneezed and nimbly twisted around the little boy's legs, its claws tapping the stone floor. It purred.

"_Yess_! Brilliant idea. Now tell Mr. Squirrel that the mango has been set, the orange had been eaten and the pair is getting rotten. After," The girl whispered, leaning in to the fluffy ear so only the little beast could hear. "We need to go into the Headmaster's office and…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Malfoy Manor_

Lucius Malfoy, yes of the esteemed House of Malfoy- the Head, in fact- was currently nursing a tea as he perused the morning's Daily Prophet. The blundering fool, Fudge, had told him suspicions about that blood-traitor, Weasley, and told him that it would appear in the newspaper the next day on page six. So Lucius immediately skipped to the article without even glancing at the cover.

Lucius was disappointed. It just talked about how the Ministry was scouting out incompetent workers.

Sighing at the missed chance to make Arthur Weasley's life more difficult then it already was, Lucius turned back to his tea.

Narcissa was out with Lady Greengrass looking for dress robes for Christmas. Even though it was months away. Lucius always found it more prudent to never question his wife.

He flipped the paper back to the front and dropped it on the coffee table, leaning back into the plushy armchair, picking up a crumpet and the letter that had arrived from Draco this morning. He broke the seal. The letter read:

_Dear Father,_

_I've been sorted into Slytherin. You were right, of course; it is by far the best House. _

_I have not had Potions yet, so I haven't seen much of Severus but I've been to History of Magic and Herbology._

_Binns is awful. I could barely stay awake and I only didn't because I read my potions text. He's not even alive! Dumbledore is a fool for not expelling him. I've heard my dorm mates talk about bringing pillows to class._

_Sprout is a suitable teacher, I suppose, though she isn't presentable at all, which is a shame, really, as she is from a respected family. _

_Do you remember that boy that I was talking to in the robe shop? James Bond? Well, it turns out that isn't his real name. He's Harry Potter._

_When Potter got on the train he was dressed in ridiculous looking custom along with another student. He claimed that his name was 'Jack Sparrow'- I, of course, knew this was a ruse and called him out on it. He seemed to take offense and (he was sorted into Slytherin also- I know, shocking. Who would have guessed that the Golden Boy would end up with the snakes?) __somehow__ managed to trick me into apologizing to the Weasels. It was pathetic, really, I should have seen it coming, but I didn't expect anything more complicated from Potter then the obvious. But don't worry, father. None of any possible allies are against what happened and they know the truth- they seemed to be amused by it all, actually._

_I'll be writing to you soon for updates on my classes._

_Draco_

Lucius stared down at the letter. A Potter. In Slytherin.

If there was one thing that Lucius knew, it was that Draco didn't like to fail and always skated over the more ugly parts of the truth which meant that Potter _wasn't _some pathetic little boy. Lucius pressed his lips into a thin line. If his persona of James Bond was anything to go by, he wasn't at all. And _what_ about a custom?

Before Lucius could think any more on the matter an owl flew in (_Who the bloody hell opened the windows_?) and dropped the letter before immediately flying off.

Lucius looked on curiously. It was pitch black with his name on the outside. He reached over and plucked it from the side table. He casually checked for curses- habit from his time as a Death Eater- and, finding none turned over the letter, about to break the seal.

He very nearly had an apoplexy.

If anyone was to walk into the room at the moment, Lucius wouldn't have noticed. He had gone deathly pale- which seemed almost impossible considering how pale he was already- his heart was hammering in his chest and he was quite suddenly sweating.

And Malfoys' _never_ sweat.

The Slytherin Family Crest.

He knew only one man to ever bare those arms.

Lucius sat frozen. It could have been for a moment, it could have been for an hour. Either way, Lucius hadn't the foggiest clue.

Fingers trembling, not even daring to breath, Lucius broke the seal and slowly raised the letter to his face to read its contents which he could already see was in a sharp cursive.

_Dear Lucius,_

_I certainly hope you have opened this letter instead of staring at the thing like the idiot you are._

_I have a certain task I wish completed, and I want you to do it. _

_Firstly, tell your boy, Draco I believe, to keep an eye on Harry Potter. Tell him not to harm him, not to interfere with anything Potter manages to get himself into. This is of the upmost important. Failure will result in dire consequences. Anything Potter tells him to do, he is to do it. You have been warned._

_As for you. Find out everything you possibly can about the Department of Mysteries, Gringotts and Cineraceus Mors. If you don't you will be wishing the Malfoys had never come into existence._

_Tell of this to no one. Not even your wife._

_I also hope you haven't blundered up with the possession I had placed in your care._

_Sincerely from,_

_Your Master,_

_Dark Lord Voldemort_

Lucius finally understood the muggle saying, _Dead man walking_. He just wasn't sure if it was about the Dark Lord or himself.

As Lucius gingerly put down the letter as though it could explode at moments notice and just gazed into space, he suddenly realized he was staring at the cover of the Daily Prophet. His incredulity of what the blaring headline said shocked him out of his terror of the Dark Lord and into a spiraling disbelief.

_Oh bloody_-!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Marv! Marv, wait up!"

The Dark Lord stopped walking and looked behind him.

Harry- or Sophos, as he insisted- was squeezing through a group of Ravenclaw seventh years who protested indignantly as the boy sent their books- which they were animatedly discussing- flying, parchment seeming to explode out of nowhere and ripple like a ribbon back to the stone ground. Ha- Sophos just sent an apologetic look over at them that Voldemort thought was more of an amused grin.

The boy bounded over to him, positively beaming.

After it didn't seem like he would say anything, Voldemort drawled, "Yes, did you need something?"

A third year Hufflepuff- who was hurrying in the other direction to get to class - stumbled with her jaw hanging open, showing some unfortunate teeth filled with cavities. Voldemort would have chuckled- darkly, of course- if he wasn't trying to control himself and build up a decent shield once more. It was a good thing the old man didn't know that they were practically nonexistent.

"Sorta!" Sophos chirped cheerfully.

The Dark Lord started walking again. Partly because the Ravenclaws and that Hufflepuff were staring unashamedly and partly because he didn't think he could look at that disturbing look on Sophos' face for very long. He looked quite deranged.

"Well? What is it?"

The boy seemed to be doing a sort of half skip. "Will you promise not to be angry?"

Voldemort shot a sharp look at the boy. "Will it _make _me angry?"

"No."

The Dark Lord simply gazed at him, exasperated. He wasn't_ so_ annoying last night, but Voldemort could clearly see his mind didn't function normally. Perhaps Dumbledore did something to him. Or maybe getting hit with the Killing Curse was enough to do it. On the other hand- or foot as Voldemort amusedly thought Sophos might say- this could just be how the boy is. Not such a comforting thought. But as the boy said, the Dark Lord wouldn't be able to stand the boy unless he _was _crazy.

Voldemort had to grudgingly agree.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to know if you knew Old Beard's worst fear."

Voldemort paused. He _almost _didn't even want to know why Sophos wanted to know. He wasn't really sure, anyway. "You didn't come up the best insult, you know. I would have thought you'd pick something better."

"I _think _Selynda came up with it. I wanted to call McGonagall, Fur Ball, and Snape, Slimy, but…" The boy trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. "It's Selynda. You shouldn't argue with her. It's pointless."

_That was probably how it was to argue with the boy_, Voldemort thought dryly.

"Anyway, I decided it would be really funny to do the opposite of what… the BIG B was scared of."

"Big Bee?" The Dark Lord said raising an eyebrow before he recalled what the boy said. "The_ opposite_?" He asked, incredulity leaking through. "What are you going to do? Give him all the lemon drops in the world?"

Sophos face went from maniacal cheerfulness to evil delight.

Voldemort had to stop walking to lock his legs so he didn't bolt.

"Why, Balbutient Ignotist Goat Bastard, of course." The beast of a child's face smoothed out and smiled disarmingly at the Dark Lord, Slytherin eyes shinning happily. "Lemon drops? I could work with that."

"You're a demon child." Voldemort stated blankly as he couldn't think of anything at the moment because he had an awful feeling that- just this once- Sophos wasn't acting or putting up any masks.

Selynda had came by before for a quick_ chat_ (which actually meant that she speed through the whole thing while glancing repeatedly over her shoulder) and informed him that Sophos was a _bit_ mental and that she believes he needs a therapist, one that dealt with the celebrities who wanted to commit suicide as they were suspended in misery because of boredom. _It's practically who he is. Except he's barely began with the fame_, Selynda had said matter-of-factly.

The Dark Lord was thinking Selynda was right.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Draco Malfoy was having what had to be the most bizarre day of his life.

Not only were the Slytherins lining up to be his 'friend' (that wasn't_ so_ surprising as Father told him they'd do that anyway) but so were the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and- believe it or not- the _Gryffindores_.

He was starting to get creeped out. Not that he'd ever admit it.

And it was all because of_ Potter_.

The worst part was that he didn't know _how_ he did it!

"Hey! You're _Draco Malfoy_, aren't you?"

A brown haired fourth year Ravenclaw appeared so suddenly that Draco would have thought she had Apparated if it wasn't for the wards around the school. The girl was rambling excitedly.

"I just knew it! This is _soo_ awesome, Jenna will be so jealous! How did you learn it? Was it easy? Can you teach me?_ Ohmymerlin_! Where you_ really_ named after _the_ dragon? That is so flipping cool! My name is sooo_ booorring_!"

Draco wanted to know what she was babbling about, but at the same time he didn't want her to keep talking. Or have her within a Quidditch field of him.

"_AWWW_!"

She screamed this so loudly that Draco jumped backwards and looked desperately for an escape route.

"YOU ARE SO CUTE, DRACO!"

Her extremely loud shout echoed through the empty halls.

The silence started rumbling.

Draco gazed with wide eyes at his feet as the ground started shaking.

The girl was still shrieking how '_freaking adorable_' he was.

Earsplitting squeals and shrieking were beginning to be transformed into words.

"HE'S OVER THERE!"

"MOVE OUT OF MY-"

"DRACO!_ WE LOVE YOOUUU_!"

Within a blink of an eye both sides of the corridors were spilling with a noisy, insanely happy, in some cases, crying students and flashes of bright white light all coming towards him. They were carrying quills and parchment, and cameras. Draco saw, with a thrill of horror, that a lot had I LOVE DRACO MALFOY t-shirts, like muggles. Draco could see that one seventh-year had one that had a picture of him slicking back his hair, winking, with the family sneer in place. The caption read: NO ONE CAN DO… LIKE ME. When the guy turned to his friend to scream- just _scream_- he saw that SEXY was on the boy's back surrounded by flames.

Draco Malfoy decided then and there that he'd make Harry Potter_ suffer_.

"What's going on here?"

The voice was quiet. It was as cold as ice and seemed to cut there the riot like it was made out of butter. It shouldn't have been humanly possible, yet everyone heard.

People started moving away as though confronted by a dementer. As if Draco's thought had summoned him, Harry Potter walked with his cloak billowing dramatically out behind him, reminiscent of Professor Snape though Harry Potter made it look even _eerier_. To Draco it seemed like he was parting a red sea of hysterical idiots.

(Draco had no idea that muggles would be able to understand what he had thought as he didn't know that Moses- one of the only remembered Mages- had made it into the bible. Not that he knew what that was.)

Potter stopped gazed around him with no emotion, just his eyes slightly narrowed. No one seemed to notice that he was the smallest one there.

"Leave," Harry Potter said even quieter then before. It was almost_ too_ soft to be a whisper. "You have ten seconds to leave from here, or_ else_."

Nobody moved, just stared at Potter in a fearful silence as though he was the predator about the eat them alive.

Draco didn't understand.

It should be _Potter _who was mobbed not _him_! It should be _Draco _who was feared not a_ Potter_!

Draco suddenly wished that Father was here so that he could ask him _how on bloody Earth had it happen?_

"Six," Potter said clearly, his voice dripping with venom. "Five."

People bolted and pushed and jostled and by the time Potter said, "Two," the hall was deserted.

It was only with years of pureblood etiquette instilled into his brain did Draco stop himself from gaping at Harry Potter and possibly ask if he could teach him how to do that.

Instead he snapped, "_What did you do_?" Which was against the Malfoy code but it was better then drooling.

Potter cocked his head to the side. "Me? A lot. I could start from the last memory I remember as a baby, but that'd take a long time. How about from the summer? Well, I read a bunch of books and got my school letter. I trick the Dursleys in a very straightforward way to let me come to Hogwarts. Then I sent some letters to Miss. McGonagall, Gringotts, an old guy named Frank, a ministry worker in America, and one to Hersey's Chocolate Factory. Then I went to Diagon Ally with Selynda where she was made into-"

"Stop it!" Draco yelled. He didn't bloody want to know about his summer! "_I meant_, what did you do to make the school go _nuts_!"

Potter blinked. "Would you get very mad at me if I simply said it always was and you had nothing to compare it to as you haven't been here before?"

Draco gritted his teeth. "I already am mad at you."

"Oh!" Potter's voice was bright now and he was smiling, eyes dancing. "In that case, Hogwarts has been like this since the Founders left- all the children are idiots, taught by idiots. It's a shame, really. They were just _waiting _for someone to jump on."

Draco snarled.

"_Ooh_," the black haired boy exclaimed. "You sounded just like a lizard! It's too bad that your name was chosen before you were born, because if it was a _real _name you would have been the world's first albino dragon!"

Draco was too angry to speak. He didn't even have a clue what Potter was prattling on about. He was almost as bad as that girl. He turned on his dragon hide boots' heels and stalked away. He heard Potter call out to him, "Next time this happens you should wear pants with suspenders because they'll try to get your robes, Rodolfo!"

Draco decided that in addition to making Potter suffer he'd bring back the Dark Lord so that he could be _murdered_.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sophos Slytherin smiled triumphantly in the empty corridor, with his emerald eyes glittering darkly.

He needed some frogs, mud, and bhut jolokia.

Everything was going according to plan.

Now, what to do with Bat Grease…?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_The Next Day…_

Severus saw that insufferable brat's hand shot up into the air again, waving energetically.

He gritted his teeth. That was the- what- tenth time in the last two minutes that the boy had interrupted him?

So this time he just ignored the boy.

"The instructions are on the board," He said coolly, glaring at all the dunderheaded children. Severus would have also scowled at Potter and Pomiodes, but he didn't want to get dragged into one of their situations. Again. Finding both children at five in the morning after that horrid meeting asleep in the common room in a secluded corner with the book, _Overlooking the Obvious_, after looking for them the entire night just about pushed him over the edge. Then waking them up and learning the reason_ why_ they weren't in their dormitories.

"_But it's all wet and cold in there, professor!"_

"_And it smells like Francis Everwood all over again!"_

"_What are you two dunderheads going on about? Get to bed!"_

"_But, professor, you don't un-!"_

"_Hey, you know there's an art-"_

"_Both of you shut up and go to sleep!"_

_Both had looked at each other and trudged up the _boy's _passageway which caused Severus to ask _what _Pomiodes thought she was doing and she replied that he might as well see the boy's first and she didn't feel like waiting for him to hurry up. Before he had a chance to reply they disappeared around the corner. When he got into the first-years boy dormitory he stopped short, shocked. _

_It was as though a rain forest and the tundra had vomited at the same time._

_Dead thick vines and plants twisted around the furniture, trees randomly coming out of the floor and ceiling. Snow blanketed over the ground and tops of the objects that were still visible. Giant ice stalactites and stalagmites somehow managed to stick out of the walls. The boys in bed were still asleep, Crabbe and Goyle snoring amazingly loud._

_Speechless, he turned incredulously to the two children that were behind him. Severus was without the faintest clue how they got there._

"_I tired to make them get out but they keep on saying they didn't know what I was talking about even though they kept on banging into stuff. So I got a perfect and he didn't see anything either! I tired to find you, or any teacher, really, but no one was around, professor!"_

"_I did the same as well, professor, except I dumped water over one of my dorm mates to see if it'd shock her out of it. Pansy wasn't so happy with me, neither was the perfect I got, so now I have detention. It's no fair! You can take it away, can't you, sir? It wasn't my fault, I was trying to help!"_

Which is how Severus had gotten the Headmaster, McGonagall, Sprout, and Flitwick, discovered that everyone how was in the 'Snake Den' at exactly curfew was cast under a Confounding Charm, a Memory Modifying Charm and a Controlling Curse just short of the Unforgiveable. _Luckily_, Potter and Pomiodes were late for curfew by ten minutes, making them arrive at nine-ten. Not even Dumbledore knew how all the dormitories were jinxed and if Severus hadn't actually saw what had happened, got the other teachers and got all the students out of bed, many would have been dead by breakfast. As it was, all who were in bed- which was everyone other then Potter and Pomiodes because it had only been the first day of school and none were foolish enough to try and sneak out- had to be treated by Poppy for frostbite, hypothermia, nerve damage, or in some cases, bloody wounds as they had fallen or stumbled into the ice prodding from the walls. And that was just the basics of what Severus knew. Dumbledore had to conjure up sleeping bags in the library.

Now all his snakes would be staying at the other Houses until they found a way to rid Slytherin of its climate change.

Apparently Severus had momentarily spaced out as that blasted boy was babbling about something to the class.

"…then you just use the spatula and flip it over so-"

"Enough!" Severus would not hear anything about a spatula _ever_ again. "Get to work!"

"_So the students immediately started scrambling to the potions supply cabinet, girls and boys alike tripping over their medieval dresses as to not face Bat Grease's wrath_-"

"Potter, _what are you doing_?"

The entire class was staring at the whelp as he looked around in a daze, beaming happily. Then his eyes _somewhat_ focused in on Severus.

"I thought it would be more interesting to narrate the class for you, professor!" The boy chirped, "Besides, I wanted to ask you what they safety rules were because, knowing myself, I'll explode something if I don't know."

Severus stared at him. Then slowly, "Do you understand Ligodipashf?"

"No."

"Good. Three points to Slytherin. As for safety rules," Severus sneered, "Any dunderhead should know whether something is dangerous or not. But if you're going to disrupt the class so much you might as well be productive. Potter, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?" Severus didn't particularly care it was a O.W.L. level question. Or that they all were.

"A mixture, sir."

Nobody moved for a moment. Then Pomiodes sniggered.

Severus felt a vein in his forehead throb. "Wrong, Potter. Where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

The boy cocked his head to the side, his painted streaks seeming to ripple like water. "Assuming you're asking me because you ran out, professor, I'd go to an apothecary."

Severus gritted his teeth. "Wrong." He knew, just _knew_ the boy was doing this on purpose. "What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"The name, sir."

"Wro-" Severus blinked. "Right."

"Ooh!" The boy exclaimed happily. "So your method of teaching _is _working! And here I thought it was _pointless_!"

Severus stared at the boy for a moment before glaring. How _dare _that brat? "Are you saying you _do _know the answers to those questions, Potter?" He spat.

"Of course, professor," The boy said seriously. "But you told be not to be smart to you, so I tried not to be. But the last one you kinda have to know unless you wanted me to say it was ozostomia." Potter paused. "But that's what you have, so…" The boy shrugged.

Ozostomia? _What_ in the world was that?

Severus sighed and resisted the urge to rub his temples.

"Mr. Potter, for now on, _be_ smart," Severus had to pause at the absurdity of the statement. "Now, what are the answers to the previous asked questions?"

The boy was suddenly squirming in his seat in apparent excitement. "Draught of the Living Death, which is a sleeping potion so powerful it makes you seem… well, dead. From the stomach of a goat." The boy paused. "I for one would like to know who is gross enough to feel around in animals' intestines for no reason. Anyway, it can save a person from most poisons. And yeah, they're the same plant. Also called aconite, which muggle know about as a lovely spice."

"Twenty points to Slytherin," Severus said tiredly. No one said that just because he didn't really like the boy didn't mean he couldn't help his house out.

The rest of the lesson was going smoother, much to Severus' satisfaction. Of course, until-

CRASH!

Then-

_BOOM_!

The room was suddenly filled like chaos as green goop exploded from someone's caldron (Severus strongly suspected Longbottom) and people started screaming.

He was about to whip out his when to vanish the… whatever it was- it seemed to be rising up like a giant blob monster Severus once saw in a muggle movie- away when he saw Potter stand up with a weird expression on his face that Severus couldn't decipher.

"Stop, Mr. Slime! We brew in peace!"

The boy made a strange gesture with both his hands, his middle and pointer finger spread away from his ring and pinky finger that seemed to also be glue to each other.

The…Mr. Slime stopped. Severus swore he could hear a gurgling sound.

"No, he didn't really att-"

The boy stopped as more gurgling filled the air.

"Actually, Sophos fell," Pomiodes suddenly jumped into, stepping forward, a bit in front of Potter. "Anyway, think of the drains. Talk about a pain in the-"

"We can come to a compromise," The boy said quickly.

Silence. Then the gurgling filled the air again.

Both boy and girl suddenly grinned- more like bared their teeth- before bellowing, "CLEAN UP, CLEAN UP, EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE!"

And the…Mr. Slime exploded, showering the entire class in green goop.

The students who were just staring at the scene, obviously at loss of what to do- panic, or… well, panic- began screaming again, with the "EWWW!" from most of the girls.

Severus saw Potter turn to him, so he took his attention from the other children (after whipping his face with his sleeve as he had gotten a face full of the goop) and turned to the boy.

"I told you I needed some safety directions, professor," The boy said solemnly. "I was chopping up… whatever, I forgot, and I reached to get something but I leaned over too far and my stool tilted, I fell, and my… whatever flew into Neville's… err, potion. _Now _look what happened. Poor Mr. Slime."

All Severus could do was stare.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Unbeknown to anyone in the castle- expect for Hogwarts herself- a clearly magical creature stalked the hallways.

It looked almost like a small panther- obviously not full grown- with bright, jewel-like eyes. But it wasn't a cat. Just no other word could describe its species. Its paws were gold, along with the tips of its ears and tail. On the center of its head was the symbol of power. It seemed to fluidly move within a living shadow.

In front of it was a gargoyle. It shifted and looked down at the creature whose eyes pierced the rock.

_Guardian of Cineraceus_, the gargoyle projected to the beast.

The cat looked at the stone with its head cocked to the side. _Forever. May I enter?_

Its answer was the gargoyle immediately jumping to the side, admitting the cat.

The moving stairway didn't faze the creature in the slightest. When it stopped moving, the beast gracefully moved toward the door which opened without a touch.

No one was there but Godric's phoenix.

_Guardian. What is it you seek?_

The beast seemed to smile.

_Well…_

The cat left with a slivery material in between its razor sharp teeth.

If anyone was to see it, they'd swear it was smirking.

* * *

_Err. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I'm sorta got tired with it. Don't worry, next will be up sooner._

_Yes, I realize that Hermione was supposed to be able to do it on the first try. Deal with it._

_I don't really like this chapter, but at the same time it's my favorite. Other then Unhelpful Fakers (just because I love Jack Sparrow). And I sorta didn't plan that potions scene, I just sorta did that to do something. And I wanted a blob monster. Oh, and I wrote charms class when I was not in a writing mood so it was, yes, pitiful. Lucius' take, too. I don't think I write him very well. Or the letters. Falling and hitting Marv…? Eh. Whatever._

_OH! Kerfuffle from last chapter. Well, I found that in OotP and I thought it was so weird!_

_Oh, and I agree with the Italian thing from last chapter. I wrote that before I took any classes, okay? Now that I actually have a teacher I feel really stupid for not using idiomatic expressions or whatever. Admittedly, I got that from a translator online. I'm ashamed._

_Ummm… I can't think of anything else right now 'cause I'm tired and need to take a shower._

_OH, OH! And Jake Shubter _isn't real_, people!_

_Thanks for the awesome reviews!_

_-Vayah_


	10. The Taste of Madness, Part 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Warning: Language, and anything else in case I don't put something in and I get in trouble… Whatever.**

Normal- Blah

Thoughts- _Blah_

Speaking - "Blah"

Latin- _*Blah*_

Greek- _~Blah~_

Mind Speech-_ ::Blah::_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Gobbledegook- ^_Blah_^

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

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**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 9: The Taste of Madness_

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* * *

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_Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, _

_But still,_

_Somehow,_

_You just can't stop it._

_~Elizabeth Wurtzel_

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_Their laughs swirled around serenely, rising and swaying with the lilies in the breeze. The two twelve year-old boys lay stretched out on their stomachs, their faces turning pink. _

"_Oh, c'mon, Spyro!" The boy with the light, curly brown hair gasped, his mouth stretched wide in a grin. "Seriously, what do you want to be? And if you say, a pidgin one more time I'm gonna…"_

"_You don't look too serious, Koru. Besides, what's wrong with pidgins? I want to fly; therefore, I want to be a pidgin. Or any bird, really. Well, one that can actually lift its body weight. And I seem to remember listening to_ you_ for hours, complaining about how _you_ really wanted to fly also, and how you're father is so unfair, blah, blah, blah..."_

_Koru just stuck his tongue out and looked at the dark haired boy expectantly._

_Spyro stayed silent._

"_Spyro! You're killing me here! You hate me! I thought- I thought we were _best friends_. I t-thought we were _brothers_!" Koru wailed dramatically._

_Emerald green eyes danced with mirth as the sunlight light up the luminous golden ring that surrounded the boy's pupil. _

"_Oh, Koru. It's siblings' job to irritate each other to death, no? I just so happen to be better at it then you."_

_Koru sat up and pouted, "Please? Pretty please?"_

"_With what on top?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_I said, 'With what on top?"_

_Koru looked at him funnily before understanding came over his features._

"_Oh, the future. Odd."_

_Spyro hummed in agreement, smirking._

"_So what is it?"_

"_Pretty please with a sugar on top. Or a cherry, but some people cannot seem to make up their mind."_

"_What is this cherry?" Koru asked, frowning. _

"_A fruit. Around the end of this age they'll become more popular in Europe, but we could probably find some wild ones if we really wanted."_

_Koru snorted loudly. "Why is it that you know only the useless things?"_

"_What!" the black haired boy shot up and looked at his friend incredulously. "I just told an entire shift in the wealth of our homeland and its resources, and you're telling me it's _useless_?"_

_Both stared at the other for a moment before bursting into laughter._

"_Yes," Spyro admitted with a small grin after they calmed. "It's pretty useless- just like that thing about a bumble bee, or something."_

_Koru chuckled. "Yeah, or that premonition about the beginning of Cineraceus Mors. Like _that'd_ ever happen- it's just impossible."_

_The black hair boy squirmed, uncomfortable for a moment before he relaxed and smiled lazily, eyes fixed on a butterfly that fluttered past his nose. _

"_You're right. Impossible."_

"_So tell me!" Koru said suddenly, making the smaller boy jump._

"_What?"_

"_What the bloody hell are you going to be!" He exclaimed, obviously frustrated._

_A sly expression came over Spyro's features as his eyes danced again. "Language," He chastised lightly. "You wouldn't want me to tell Mumsy dearest, now would you?"_

_Koru scowled. "What if I find your mother and see how you like it?"_

_But Spyro just laughed and he drawled, "Good luck with that, brother. She'd probably just eat you. Do you mind coming back as a ghost so you can tell me what color scales she has? I always thought it was either violet or a dark fuchsia."_

_Koru sighed loudly, abruptly exasperated. "Fine. Don't tell me. Now I'm not going to tell you what I _know_ I'm going to be."_

_Spyro chuckled. "You don't need to. A knight, a great warrior, off to rescue the fair maiden that's held captive in the arms of your enemy."_

"_What?" The light haired boy asked, looking concerned. "There's a girl being held hostage?"_

_Spyro looked to the heavens as though to ask why he was friends with such a moron. "I was joking."_

"_That was a bad joke."_

"_No. It was funny because you're such a noble prat."_

_Koru rolled his eyes and said, "Well, get on with it! What, are you embarrassed? Suspicious? Thinking of taking over the world?"_

"No_," Spyro snarled defiantly, his jaw jutting out._

_It seemed to be a confirmation to Koru, though. "You want to take over the world?" He asked looking shocked. Then he grinned in anticipation. "Count me in! I'll be you're second and you could be the best Dark Lord ever!"_

"_Koru-"_

"_My apologies, I meant the best Dark _God_." He grinned. "We can start with Scotland, they have a pitiful dense, and their offense isn't so great either-"_

"_Koru-"_

"_Then England, their ministry doesn't do anything for the public-"_

"_Hey, Koru-!"_

"_Or maybe we should do England first- taking over Scotland would just alert them to the threat-"_

_The dark haired boy's eye twitched._

"_Oh, wait, no. England would just be in denial about a threat, Scotland would actually do something, so Scotland first then-"_

"_KORU! _Shut up_! I don't want to take over the world!" When his friend looked disbelieving Spyro said, "Well, yes, I'd like to change everything to make everyone's lives better, but I wouldn't want to be a leader in something like that- think about it. All the imbeciles- which are, unfortunately, the majority of the people in the world- screw up really bad, and who'd they take it to? Me! No thanks, I don't feel like dealing with them."_

"_But you could just make your lackeys do all the dirty work for you," Koru pointed out- for once- reasonably. _

_Spyro growled. "Drop it."_

"_Only if you tell me-"_

"_Fine you stubborn mule!" the dark hair boy snapped sharply, pink rising to his cheeks. "Just shut up already."_

"_Well…?" Koru needled after a moment of silence._

_Spyro took a deep breath. "I want to start a school."_

_When Koru just stared at him- for at least a minute- Spyro flushed a deeper red._

_Then Koru cracked up. _

_Eyes hardening, Spyro pushed to his feet and stalked away. _

"_Bastard," He murmured sullenly. _

_Spyro was already halfway up a hill by the time Koru seemed to notice his absence and shouted his name. The dark haired boy just glared at the offending rock that cut open his hand when he was startled and tripped. Glancing over his shoulder, Spyro could see Koru was running to catch up with him. He scowled and began to climb again, but not fast so it would look like he was running away. Which he was, but that was beside the point. _

"_Hey!" _

_They were at the top of the hill on and Koru grabbed the dark haired boy's arm and pulled him to face him. Spyro refused to look at him, still embarrassed. _

_Maybe he _should _just take over the world and forget this ever happened. And erase Koru's memory. He didn't need it. Not really._

"_I'm sorry! I wasn't laughing at you, it was just so bizarre! You hate children."_

_Spyro scowled. "No I don't. I just hate those idiot Weasleys and Malfoys. And their parents. And if you haven't noticed, we are children." _

"_No," Koru said pompously, "We're men."_

"_You don't even have armpit hair, let alone any facial."_

_Koru glared. "Do too!" _

"_Well then, I don't want to see it. I'll die from the smell."_

"_Very funny. You're avoiding the subject."_

"_No I am not," Spyro murmured acrimoniously, jutting out his chin again. _

_Korus sighed. "Spyro…"_

"_What? There is no subject. I'll just rule the world and teach children the fine art of being brainwashed. Discussion over."_

"_The fine art of…" Koru trailed off looking bemused and shook his head as though to clear it. "No, if you want to make a school, then I'll help, really! It's not like I can go around killing evil wizards and creatures my whole life."_

"_Oh, so you'll teach them the best way to decapitate someone. Lovely."_

"_I meant dueling! I know that you can beat me any day, but you have no patience when you try to show someone something with Battle Magic. You'd be better with Runic Lore, alchemy, astronomy, history and healing even!"_

_Spyro seemed to deflate. "Koru, you don't have to do this. If you think it's a stupid idea then just tell me. You don't have to be involved."_

"_But I want to!" Koru said fiercely. "You're my brother; of course I'm going to help. Don't even try to talk me out of it!" He added at the look on Spyro's face. "It's not a stupid idea, it's great! And hey," Here he got a mischievous look on his face that Spyro knew very well. "I get to be the 'fun' professor! And I won't ever get bored with the kiddies, they'll be so amusing, much better then some old king or lard- I mean lord."_

_Spyro snorted and felt a smile start to tug at his lips. But he still felt guilty._

"_I-"_

"_No." Koru said firmly._

_And that was that. _

_They ended up lying back on the hill, watching the sun set, talking about whatever happened to come to mind. _

_When the stars were bright in the sky and the sun already sunken behind the horizon, Spyro was about suggest they head back, because it was dark, of course, and it'd be difficult to find there way home. Not because he really wanted to go to sleep or anything. _

_Right._

_But Koru cut him off._

"_Spyro?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_What's the name going to be?"_

_Spyro's brows furrowed. "Of who?"_

"_Your school, of course! What else?"_

"_Oh…"_

"_Am I the first one you told about this?" Koru suddenly asked right in Spyro's ear, startling him once more._

"_What…? Oh- yes. Why?"_

"_Because," Koru said matter-of-factly, "Where ever you are when you first speak or think of it is where you get your name. Do you remember when you first thought of it?"_

"_No."_

"_Then you name it from something around here!" Koru said brightly. Then he sniggered. "How about, 'the Hairy Pit of the Arm Academy'?"_

_Spyro glared. "I don't think so. If you ever call it that again, I'll eat you."_

"_Fine, Sir Cannibal. What about 'Cherries School of Sorcery'? Except you spell cherries with an S so that it goes along."_

"_Sherries? What, like sherry? Sorry, I don't think getting the pupils drunk is a very good idea." Spyro drawled. _

_Koru pouted and whined, "Stop knocking my ideas- their funny. They'll attract attention." _

"_Yes, and they'll want to smite us."_

"_You are so gloomy. Brighten up! Make a funny name, it'll amuse the children!"_

"_No," Spyro said stubbornly. "I want a name with historical significance."_

_Koru raised his eyebrows. "Brother, haven't you noticed that whatever you decided to call it _will _make history? The famous kind I mean, not the 'everyday you add to history just by living.'"_

_Spyro frowned. "How so?"_

"_It's going to be the best school in the world, of course!"_

"_It's not going to be that big, Koru," the dark haired boy protested._

"_Yes it is," Koru said confidently. "I know it."_

"_Huh. And I thought I was the one with Seer blood."_

"_Guess not," he said smugly, like he won an argument._

_Spyro rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, you arrogant buffoon."_

"_Yeah, yeah," Koru said impatiently. "Will you decide already? We can't leave until you name it." He added snickering, catching Spyro's yawn._

"_What do I need with this place? _Inspiration_?" Spyro asked sneering. He was annoyed with Koru. And he was tired. So he could be mean._

"_Yes."_

_Or not. _

_Spyro sighed and peered around him, resigned. _

_Everything had a pearly glow to it from the twinkling dots and the full moon that were swathed in the velvety darkness of the heavens. Down the hill the meadow rippled and billowed like the ocean, throwing sparkling lights- that Spyro couldn't understand where they came from- out into the sky, almost like they were winking back at the stars. Then he spotted it._

_He gingerly stroked the flower, leaning in to peer at the iridescent light that seemed to shimmer around it._

"_Uh, Spyro…"_

_Carefully, with dexterous that people only find in experienced, skillful weavers, he plucked the lily from its bed, only slightly surprised to see that no roots came with it. _

_He laid back down, propped up with his elbows and smiled. _

"_Norse history…" He mused quietly to himself, not noticing the 'what-are-you-doing-and-talking-about' look from his brother. "Oh yes…perfect…"_

_Just when Koru opened his mouth to tell the other boy to spit it out Spyro looked slyly over to him from the corners of his eyes. He was grinning._

"_You want an amusing name?"_

_Koru nodded cautiously. _

"_Hogwarts." Spyro whispered. _

_Then he blew gently. Glowing white, gold and black dust billowed from the flower, twisting around the boys, two of the Founders of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, sealing their fate forever._

_But the dust didn't stop. _

_It rose and swirled together, forming a golden light more brilliant then the sun, rising and spreading until all that could be seen was the light- it was singing, rattling his bones, breaking his breath, awakening his soul-_

Sophos bolted up in bed gasping and panting.

"Oh Shesha!" he cried in shock, not caring if any of the Claws woke up. "_Spyro_! No way, Selynda must have… playing a trick- yeah, she was playing a prank on me." He murmured fervently to himself before he rolled over and fell asleep.

He wouldn't remember the dream for a very long time.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_Before Breakfast_

A small figure in a plum colored robe quickly ducked behind a statue and peeked around its thigh. The man jumped when the sculpture huffed and strode away. He scowled and, seeing a group of seven years, the man dove to the ground so he could hide his body by their bigger forms causing the students to stare at him incredulously. Narrowing his eyes, Filius peered around a young man's afro which seemed to be almost bigger than he was.

It was really simple why he was sneaking around.

Severus and Minerva were avoiding him.

He could understand why. But Pomona had come and given him what was owned to him, obviously believing that it was all fair-and-square. Ah, Hufflepuffs. They were the piffer in the putter!

The Headmaster said they seemed to be avoiding him also and, eye twinkling, Dumbledore told him how he heard the two complaining to one another that they hadn't met the boy before the bet was made, and if they had they would've most definitely picked Slytherin.

Bullocks.

When Filius spotted a tall, greasy haired man he immediately made a beeline for him.

After all. It _was_ only fair.

Filius smirked. When will they ever learn to listen to the Ravens'?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

_After Breakfast_

Sophos sighed warily.

While it was fun to scare the crap out of kids older then him, it was also extremely tiring.

When he saw three fourth-year-looking boys stop and stare, not in fear but in _curiosity_ (they obviously heard him and thought that maybe the rumors were just rumors) he bared his teeth in warning and hissed menacingly.

(Of course, the other first years didn't seem to know how to act around him, but whenever he asked for something they'd jump at the change to do it which amused him and Selynda to no end)

_Ooh_. He never knew people could run that fast!

Some may think him crazy for his latest plot, but, oh well. It was the funniest one he could come up with, so he was doing it.

Whenever Sophos said that he made up some humorous scheme Selynda would look horrified and slither away under the floorboards of the cupboard. Which is why he didn't tell her what he was going to do and which is also why she keep hounding him to spit it out.

When she said that, Sophos had spit out his drink on Draco. Again.

It didn't seem to be what she meant.

Snickering quietly to himself, he opened to door that was pretending to be a wall. Hey, it was a magical castle. If he wasn't going to take detours on his way to class then it'd just be out of character for him. And Sophos always stayed in character.

Well, at least what people thought was his character.

Oh, sure, he was normal with Selynda (it'd be exhausting to do it 24/7) and beginning to get into normality (he meant his) with Marv, but still. What people saw of him wasn't what they expected, but once they realized that, then they expected him to be unexpected in an expecting way of doing something unexpected.

Sophos didn't really think that made much sense, even in his own mind- or perhaps just sounded _too_ repeating- but if people believed that it made sense to him they they'd try to make it make sense to themselves and they'd be really confused and come to a false conclusion, which is what he was going for.

Not that he'd voice that aloud- but if he did, it would work. Err. He thought. He didn't really know as he had no one to test it on. Draco didn't count- he could predict his reaction better then he could predict what would piss off Marv.

"_Meow_…"

Sophos stopped and glanced around him. "Mr. Kitty Kitty?"

When he didn't see the poofy, orange and brown speckled-haired kneazle he raised his eyebrows and sent out a light plus of magic to locate the source of the meowing.

It was becoming a habit of Sophos' because when in a castle where the painting talk and the statues move, you just don't know who it is that disturbs your peace.

He felt the plus come back to him, the vibration-like tingle telling him it came from behind a suit of armor.

(When Selynda first showed him how to do it he was forcibly remained of dolphins and echolocation.)

It was most definitely _not _Mr. Kitty Kitty. The magic didn't feel like a kneazle and barely felt like an animal, though from what Sophos could tell, it was a cat.

Curious, Sophos put on the special sunglasses that Selynda enchanted before coming to Hogwarts (_"So we don't burn our eye-sockets out, _She had said matter-of-factly_._) and let his Sight turn on.

Immediately the hall was through into various colors, the most dominate being gold.

(When he first learned how to see auras- before Selynda came along- he worked out that gold was Pure Magick- not that he knew it was _Magick_, he thought it was just plain old_ magic_- neither Dark nor Light. Light was obviously just bright white light, while Dark was black darker then space. Not that he completely knew the difference between them, but he had read enough books and seen enough movies to distinguish what they were.)

Skipping, he peeked around behind the creepy metal guy who he knew was watching him.

Sophos wasn't so sure what a heart attack would feel like, but he was sure he almost had one.

"AHHHHH!"

Sophos didn't think of anything when he bolted except he had to get away from the _thing _that he figured was Mrs. Norris. The lamp-like eyes were sort of a give away. And that he saw her in Blaise's memories.

"HOLY SHESHA! _MARVVV_!"

He couldn't call Selynda because she was currently chatting up Salazar's basilisk.

"_MARRVVV_!"

Whoever did that was too fucked up for words.

"_MARRRVVV_!"

How long was she like that? Why didn't Flinch do anything? Did he know?

"_MAARRVVVVVV_!"

"Mr. Potter?" A grandfatherly voice called making Sophos skid to a stop and fall over his man-dress.

(Thankfully he always wore pants under it or else someone would be getting a nice view of his boxers right now)

Sophos felt like his heart was about to burst open. He tried to hide his horror as he looked up into the face of Albus Dumbledore.

"Is something wrong, my boy?"

Sophos could only stare at him.

_He did it_! It was the same freaky, twinkly magical signature that was surrounding that '_cat_'!

Then he opened his mouth and screamed again, "MARVVVV!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A thirteen year-old boy with pitch black hair with sparkling gold and white streaks (which he cursed to Hell since the day he got them. Really._ Sparkles_? Even more irritating was that it got that moronic bastard that asinine nickname for him.) silently crawled under a bench that was stupidly in the middle of the hall, stretching to both walls, which annoyingly had a snogging couple on top of it making disgusting wet sounds that made him retch.

_Imbeciles! It's board daylight in a _main _corridor!_

He couldn't even go another route and he couldn't go through any of the secret passageways because the Weasley Twins were patrolling them, probably because he stole the map. And he couldn't use the cloak because it was being stubborn. So was Hogwarts.

Well, he wasn't stupid was he? He couldn't just let them see him on the damn thing. Or see him disappearing into places that didn't seem to exist.

Damn today.

He totally forgot that nothing but his damn _normal wizard_ magic would work today because the position of Uranus. Fate- Satan damn her- probably thought it was funny.

How _fucking long_ was this damn-ass bench?

_::Guardian!::_

Oh_ Hell_.

_::What?::_ he projected irritably to nothing in particular.

_::You have come! It's an honor, my Lord, such an _honor_!:: _

The voice, whoever it was, kept excitedly rambling. The boy didn't pay one speck of attention to it expect random words or sentences that he couldn't tune out.

For Shesha's sake! Was this bench never ending? And why couldn't he remember anything about it being here before?

_::Oh, how amazing it would be-!::_

Uh-huh. Whatever.

_::Just think, my Lord! The rainforest-!::_

Wow. _Flipping_ amazing.

_::And then we shall love under the Sun's brilliant rays-::_

Aww. How _poetic_. He could just throw up.

Literally.

::Soar through the abyss-!::

Fascinating.

And _nooo_. He was _totally not_ being _sarcastic_.

_::Forever we will have each other!::_

Great. And why would he want to hear about the stupid voice's partner?

The voice purred in his ear. _::Forever and ever you shall be mine, Guardian.::_

…

…Okay, it just got creepy.

Did he mention it was a male's voice, and he was definitely straight?

The boy's eye twitched as he saw the bench yawning onward into the darkness, still no end in sight.

It was the _morning_. Windows surrounded the damn corridor. What. The. Hell?

_::And then,::_ the voice continued breathily, _::we-::_

Oh_ no, no, no_! He _most definitely didn't want_ to hear the perverted voice anymore!

_::Hogwarts! Can you get this-::_ the boy faltered for a moment, trying to think of an insulting enough word for _it_ but he already felt the castle's Magick sending the spirit away.

He hoped it was far,_ far_ away, like to Antarctica. Or Pluto. It was named for Hades right? To Hell with the voice! Sounded perfect to him.

He could feel the castle's amusement.

He, on the other ear, could not feel such a thing at the moment due to the _damn bench_!

_::You are cursing very much today, my Spyro. Home sick?::_

Pulling out his cell phone from his pocket, the boy growled lowly in response while he bitterly thought (careful to shield it from Hogwarts) _Yeah?_ _Why should I be in a bad mood while everyone at home is close to and now probably facing the first stages of Cineraceus Mors?_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

In a light blue bedroom, with the window wide open letting in the fresh air, sat a ten year-old girl who was nervously tugging at her bright red hair without really realizing what she was doing.

She was at a dilemma.

First of all, that girl, Selinda- or however you spelt it- said that if she didn't write soon, then she'd write to her. And it would be rude _not _to even if Ginny wasn't so sure they'd even remember her.

Second, she didn't really know how to write the letter and send it off without her mother reading through it. Actually, she probably wouldn't even let her do that without Percy or Ron (no way would she believe Fred and George) telling her if the children Ginny was writing to were 'good,' like she expected them to be escaped convicts.

Third, she had_ no_ idea where to start, how to begin. _Dearest Friends, Sophos and Selinda, Pleasure to make your acquaintance_…

That was something _Percy_ would write.

Definitely a big_ no_. Mostly because it was stuffy. Another reason was because she thought that '_making your acquaintance' _had to be done in person.

Sighing and brushing her hair back, Ginny huffed impatiently and grabbed some parchment.

She'd have to be sneaky and take Errol before Mum got up to feed the chickens. Even if it did take her another day.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Fidgeting out of nerves, Maria tugged at her hoddie's selves, repeatedly pulling them over her hands. She closed her eyes and leaned heavily against the seat that was surprisingly soft for being on a train.

She couldn't _believe _she had forgotten so _important_!

Hell, no one in the history of the world could have forgotten!

Figures it was her.

Maria felt something buzz in her pocket. Eyes narrowing, she fished it out, checking the ID, tapped the screen to answer and held it up the her ear even though she knew it was leaking radiation like all other electronics, probably slowly killing her, seeping into her brain and-

"Talk."

"Ria?"

Her nose twitched in irritation. "No, it's the damn-ass boogieman."

"Ha, very witty. I applaud you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and to run something by you-"

"And who is this?"

"You're not funny. Anyway-"

"_Who is this_? Who dares talk back to Oggly!"

"Maria."

"Fine. What's going on, Spyro? Do you need something?"

She heard him sigh in annoyance. "Yeah. An atomic bomb."

When Maria didn't say anything (she was contemplating how she could get Bethenny Frankel's therapist to take a look at him) he continued as though sensing what she was thinking. "Well, it goes like this… Hold on a second- Did you _curse_?" His voice was more then slightly incredulous.

Maria slid down further in her seat groaning loudly. She grumbled, "You're a bad influence on me. I've been swearing- in my head-" red rose to her cheeks as she remembered the turkey sandwich incident, "for the past few days."

Spyro was silent for a long time and, just when she was getting nervous, he said in exaggerated awe, "Holy Shesha, I think I love you."

Maria scowled, "Oh, shut up."

He gasped. "Oh my! Maria, will you take my hand in holy matrimony?"

"Spyro."

"Yes, _darling_?" he purred- very realistically, Maria thought she might add.

Well, it figured as he was some sort of Magickal jungle-y panther/Egyptian mau.

"I hope you have a good hiding place, because next time I see you, I'll kill you."

"No worries!" He chirped. "I have a perfect hiding place that no one but me even knows about- Well, me and Shi-"

He cut off and made a little noise that sounded like _eeeeeeppt! _

Maria smirked in amusement as she heard Spyro struggling with something.

(She wasn't worried like she was the first few months when she met him- Spyro got into ridiculous, possibly fatal, situations every other day. Unless it_ was_ everyday and he just didn't tell her. True, those days of stress free relaxation- because she just_ knew_ nothing bad would happen- was probably the only thing that kept her sane)

It went on for a few more seconds, making _thump!_ and _thwack!_ sounds that was obviously really loud if she could hear it with such clarity.

Then sizzling, almost like a hoard of angry snakes hissing, then-

_BOOM!_

Startled, Maria's hand lost her grip on her phone and it flew into the wall as her arm jerked involuntarily. Scrambling up, she fumbled for a minute just trying to picking it put with her trembling fingers.

_Oh Shesha, please no, no, no-_

"Sp-Spyro?" She spoke tentatively, voice wavering.

Maria would never admit it- at least not to Spyro- but she was properly '_scared shitless_.' She cursed him in her head- her face heating up once more at her language, even if it was internal- for being such an idiot and getting into dangerous stunts on a regular basis.

Mostly, she was angry at him for making her care.

Her nose twitched when she heard a chuckle.

"Wow! Now I know why I've never seen that bench!" A pause and a sound like fabric rubbing on his phone as though he switched hands or ears. "Hey, Ria? Is it a _very_ bad sign for a person's health if their lips are turning semi-blue-ish?"

A deadpanned, "Yes."

"Oh… Are you sure? It couldn't be because they were sucking each other's faces, like, two minutes ago?"

"Yes, and no."

"…Huh. Looks like I need to get that Humphrey, Madam Pomfrey."

In spite of herself, Maria blurted out, "Humphrey?"

"It's a dog's name."

"Yeah, but wha-" Maria stopped and snorted. "Of course. All of your best insults are hidden, you know. It sorta wastes the effort when no one realizes what you're saying."

"What in the world are you talking about? That's the best part! That way you're doubly insulting them by knocking on their intelligence!"

Maria couldn't help it- she laughed.

Then she stopped.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

He sighed, as though disappointed. "Why would I tell you it was a dog if I was secretly insulting you? That makes no sense. Besides, since you're my fiancé, my significant other, and my soul mate, it would be absolute_ suicide _to even_ try_ to insult you."

Maria snorted. "Soul mates? Huh. I had no idea you were so sentimental. And since when were we engaged?"

"Well, you didn't say '_no'_. You simply said you'd murder me next time we meet. I figured we could get past that little boulder in the ski lane."

"Who said I'd want to marry you? Saying I'd kill you should have indicated that it's a _no_."

"Ah, but it also indicates that you don't want to say it. _Mwahahaha_!"

"Shut up! And no I don't!"

"I knew it! So you_ do_ like me, hmm?"

"What? I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did!"

"No I di-" Maria stopped as she realized where he was directing the conversation. "For Shesha's sake! You know what I meant! Now, why did you call?"

Spyro lost his jaunty mood. Now his voice was dejected, maybe even beginning to fall into panic. "Don't you realize what today is? We're running out of time. I also think it's close to when the Fortress fell. And, well, I've been thinking on it and I can't think of anyone who'd be able to accomplish that but us. And I've been thinking of… _his_ responses to me when I first met him and it makes me think…"

Maria's heart was speeding up. "That he already knew you."

There was silence for a moment. It could have been a minute, or it could have been five but Maria felt the tension building.

"Okay," Maria took a big breath. "What's the plan?"

He ignored that. "I was thinking- no, I know it was on Samhain."

Maria pressed her lips together. "I guess we know who killed them all, too."

"Yeah."

"Good." She said firmly. Then she smirked. "So, basically, you wasted a year trying to find out who it was."

"Yeah. Pretty pointless. Only good thing that came out of it was that we found you."

"Yeah. I was_ dying_ of boredom."

"Oh, sweetheart, you know you were, don't even try to deny it."

Maria wasn't going to. He was right- she had been.

"So," She needled, "The plan?"

Spyro hummed in thought. "I thought we'd just wing it."

Maria groaned. "What kind of Slytherin are you?"

"The Ambrosio kind."

Maria snorted. "Oh, so the elite don't plan?"

"We… innovate a strategic scheme as we attempt to reach our goal."

"So you don't plan."

"No. No we don't."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The Dark Lord wearily rubbed his temples.

Why him?

He looked dejectedly down at Selynda's paper.

Damn that snake. Did she _really _have to write her homework in Korean Parseltongue?

And it was probably so_ brilliant_!

Too bad he never learned Korean. Where was a Crouch when you needed one?

Oh right, they couldn't understand Parseltongue…

Maybe he could copy the Korean down without the Parseltongue…?

Voldemort had set advanced magical theory homework for Sophos and Selynda so that they'd actually have to do work instead of looking for some insane thing to do because they were bored. But for Selynda, he set her work that even he couldn't understand. He told her that the assignment was to explain in detail how the basics of beginner magic incorporates into the Balaaditya and Balachandra Datta Theorem since he didn't understand one little bit of it. So he figured the beginning was a good place to start.

At least that's what all the muggle quacks say. He thought.

Possibly.

It was something along those lines.

And he couldn't even tell the girl (the snake girl?) to redo the report because, according to Sophos, she gets agitated and bites whoever told her to do something that she already did.

For the trillionth time Voldemort wondered how that boy was still alive.

Sighing, he just marked an O- knowing it probably was beyond that- on the top of the page and placed it in the 'Graded' pile.

Grumbling to himself about how snakes shouldn't know more then one language that he could understand, he pulled out an essay of a normal first year that would surely be dunderheaded compared to the genius that Sophos handed in- and the surely astonishing, but unreadable-to-anyone-who-can't-read-Korean-Parseltongue work that Selynda did.

(Ugh. He was around Snape too much. This is why he liked to stay on isolated parts of the world where he could choose how long he had to stay in contact with certain idiots!)

The Dark Lord paused as he heard a blood curdling shriek.

He raised his eyebrows, taking his eyes from the moronic, grammatically horrible first year (Ronald Weasley). Perhaps some student wandered into the third corridor and met the beast. Or was jumped by a spider. You can never be sure- he once had a bad experience with a Funnel Web spider. It wasn't so fun.

(Not that he had _shrieked _when that happened. He simply…

Oh, screw it- he had been scared)

He felt his heart (which was really Quirrell's organ) stop when he heard his new nick-name.

Without conscious thought he flung away the not-even-T-worthy homework and dashed down to where he could hear the boy yelling for him, knowing by the way the stair and torches lit immediately to his use that Hogwarts was helping him.

"_MAARRVVVVVV_!"

Voldemort was just about to reach Sophos when he froze hearing Dumbledore call out the boy.

The Dark Lord almost rushed to Sophos' side when he fell but he had to lock his legs so that the old man wouldn't gain the knowledge that he and the boy were on friendly terms.

(He was pretty positive that Dumbledore knew who he was after the old man had practically cursed him through the wall after that meeting, thinking that he had kidnapped Sophos and Selynda. Like it wasn't a big give away. Mmm-Hmm.)

Voldemort felt his stomach clench when he saw Sophos horrified gaze- undeterred by his sunglass- as he stared at Dumbledore.

"Is something wrong, my boy?" the old man asked genially, his eyes tinkling almost amusingly.

Then, without warning, Sophos yelled again, "MARVVVV!"

And, again, without deciding to do so, Voldemort's legs carried him over to the boy like a magnet.

At once, Sophos leap behind him and hung onto his robes like his life depended on it.

_§He did it!§ _The boy wailed,_ §Oh, Shesha it's-it's§_

The boy was at loss for words. Thankfully, Voldemort was sure that Dumbledore wouldn't be able to tell it was Parseltonge as he himself could barely make out one word from the other as it was muffled so much.

"What did you do?" The Dark Lord barked out to the old man who was looking like he got hit over the head by a pink rhino in spandex.

"Wha-?"

"_What did you do_?"

"Professor Quirrell!"

Voldemort didn't take his eyes off of Dumbledore to bother looking over to see who called. Also, he entirely sure his were crimson.

He found that- to his slight confusion- he didn't care.

In a flash Dumbledore had his wand out pointing to the Voldemort's head, but the Dark Lord already had his pointing to the old man's heart.

"I _said_," the Voldemort hissed menacingly, "What did you do to the boy?"

Dumbledore looked momentarily shocked before his features hardened once more.

"I should be asking you the same, Tom," When Voldemort didn't make any sign that he was insulted by the name Dumbledore raised his white brows and continued. "What did _you_ do to Harry?"

The Dark Lord let out a sharp burst of laughter (that was surely chilling to anyone who heard it- not hysterical or anything) that had no real humor in it. "I? Nothing. It was _me_ he was inquiring, or have you gotten short-term memory loss over the years, old man?"

"There's more that he's got!" Sophos said suddenly. "You sick bastard! It's-it's _disgusting_!"

"What is, Sophos?" Voldemort asked quickly, glancing down at the boy. Sophos jewel-like eyes were wide and wild as he stared up at him. Voldemort wondered when he got rid of the sunglasses.

"That-that cat!"

There was a moment of silence.

"A…cat?"

"M-Mrs. Norris!"

"… The squib's cat."

"Yeah!"

"You went ballistic over a cat."

Sophos suddenly seized the front of the Dark Lord's robes and pulled him down so they were eye-to-eye. The boy looked crazed.

"You don't get it! Ha-haven't you seen her? It's-it's unnatural! Not right! Not a cat!"

"Ahh…" The Dark Lord was trying to be gentle as possible as he pried the boy's grip from his robes. He was worried if he put any more strength into it the boy would explode. Then blood would be everywhere, and he'd have scrambled brains in his hair.

"It's supposed to be dead! An-and it's not supposed to be a cat!"

Voldemort still couldn't stand up straight as the boy was literally hanging onto his hands. Quirrell wasn't so strong.

"He's right," A soft voice spoke to the left.

Everyone in the corridor spun around to the stone wall.

Nothing.

Nada.

_Zippo_.

(Voldemort was starting to think that he should talk to Sophos only for two hours a day. Or maybe two minutes.)

Then a spot shimmered and a haughty aristocrat girl about thirteen years or so, with mahogany hair tied loosely back, stepped _through _the wall, grimacing.

"I hate that," She complained, her nose twitching, looking indignant. "With Spyro it's fine, sure, but I never really got the hang of it."

"Umm…" Sophos mumbled quietly, uncertainly. Still squeezing the life out of Voldemort's hands. "So it's safe to go through the walls."

The girl looked at him and her ice blue eyes widened.

"Holy Shesha! You're so tiny!"

Then she started cracking up, her arms wrapped around her stomach until her face turned pink.

Sophos looked offended. "I'm eleven!"

The girl snorted. "You look like you're nine."

"Not my fault I was dumped with the Dursleys." Sophos sullenly muttered, sticking out his jaw in defense.

The girl sobered at once. "Too right," She growled darkly.

Now Sophos looked frightened, which the Dark Lord could understand. He remembered the time when Dumbledore set his wardrobe on fire, and then proceeded to rub it in his face (in the discrete and manipulative way of his) that he knew things about you that you keep most secret. Except he didn't have the same feeling with the girl- she wasn't a threat.

That had to be the stupidest thing he had thought in years.

He was appalled.

He just knew it was because of the boy and that damn snake!

Not that he'd do anything about it.

"Oh," The girl added offhandedly. "Dumbledore escaped, if you're wondering."

Voldemort spun-

(Lifting Sophos with him who was still hanging on)

-and saw only McGonagall, Snape and Flitwick looking at Sophos, him and the mystery girl in absolute shock.

The Dark Lord swore and turned back to the girl.

"You know," She said, apparently indifferent to the gravity of the situation. "We have to get those ingredients for your body soon, it's almost Samhain and Spyro's getting nervous," She paused. "Which is scary."

The Dark Lord stared.

"I'm not really a witch, I'm a water elemental, but I do have few tricks up my sleeve. You know. Just in case you were wondering. You can call me Ria."

Silence.

Then Sophos grinned brightly, "Cool!"

Ria smirked. "As ice."

Sophos' nose scrunched. "Okay, you just ruined it."

She made a face at him then turned back to the dumbstruck adults.

"Well, if you'll just follow me, I'll be happy to explain… sorta. A little. Okay, the bare minimum- just _come on_!" Ria shouted suddenly. She shook her head and groan, "Shesha!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Erm- hello?"

Nymphadora Tonks-

(Or Tonks, as anyone who dared called her by her first name other then her parents might as well start running)

-looked around her in slight confusion, trying to remember 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!' but it was rather hard in a pink fluffy room that had unicorns portraits and rainbows everywhere. It also didn't help that it was lightly raining.

"Hellooo! Is there anyone here by the name Jake Shubter?"

There was no reply.

Tonks happily plopped onto the spongy carpet and sat cross-legged. He'd be here.

Getting woken up at two o'clock in the morning by a mysterious letter that tells you how to get rest of the missing pieces of that same mysterious letter that leads to a cave that had inferi full to the brim of it's lake that you had to cross to get the next clue to get on top of a mountain to this, was _not_ what Tonks would normally consider 'fun.'

It's not like she signed up for this or even went_ willingly_.

If she did, Mad Eye would have killed her by now.

But somehow- even when she struggled and when she blasted things and when she screamed and when she tripped into a lava pool that wasn't really lava- Tonks always seemed to make her pass this Jake Shubter's test.

Tonks wasn't too happy with that before.

Meeting a yeti and having snow cones was probably the highlight of the day.

It was also that time that Tonks realized she was either dreaming or in a coma.

Or insane.

So, she had decided that this was a grand adventure meant to be taken non-seriously.

Or just taken as a naturally unnatural universe that decided she was totally awesome.

"Ah, hello Tonks, dreadfully sorry I'm late, I was stuck under a bench- long story- but I have a proposition for you-"

"Are you Jake Shubter?"

A thirteen year old…?

Not fair. She never got to kidnap innocents and force them into traumatizing obstacles and/or pull them out of their own worlds.

"No."

"Okay then."

"Jake Shubter doesn't exist. Technically."

Tonks was confused for a split second before she shrugged. Then she asked, "So who are you?"

"Salazar Slytherin. Nice to meet you."

Tonks stared.

And stared.

Stared.

"If you're planning on taking over the world… count me in."

Salazar Slytherin beamed. "Oh goody. I don't even need to show you the Power Point presentation then."

"Can I be the leader of something with minions and everything?" Tonks asked hopefully.

Right now she was talking with the most hated (or loved depending on what House you're and were in) Founder that was a kid now after hours of running around to get to this painfully cheery room to discuss world domination.

Yep. Insane didn't even cover it.

But, hey, she might as well have fun.

Salazar laughed. "Of course, silly! You already are! You wouldn't mind terribly if you were a President of a country, would you? I already have the designs for your money picked out."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Yeah, I know." Maria commented catching the look on Marv's face(which was actually Quirrell's face which was the weirdest thing she had ever seen- she was used to Marv's normal one, not seeing his expressions- and eyes- on someone he was possessing). "Disgusting."

The really sad part about this situation was that she couldn't even blame Spyro for making her deal with this. Right now it was Magick's fault that she was looking at the 'cat'.

"Anyhoo, lets go to the Room of Requirement. We'll talk there."

S- _Sophos_, Maria corrected herself, shuffled forward looking like wide-eyed little kid that was about to go to the doctor to get a shot, gripping Marv's hand like he was holding onto his Papa for all it's worth.

She took it back. Seeing him as a defenseless-

(Maria snorted at that thought. He probably wasn't _ever _defenseless.)

-scared little boy was _the most_ bizarre thing she'd ever seen.

And Maria was thinking this while looking at the woman who was trapped as a cat after she died and had her soul shoved back in her decaying body.

And people thought _Spyro _was insane- _please_, he could barely get one up on Dumbledore after _this_.

"Oh, and we have to go find Flitch so we can kill him." Maria added matter-of-factly, as though it was an insignificant afterthought. Which it kinda was.

Sophos stared at her.

Ahh, sweet success. That was the first time she'd ever seen _him _look like that.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

* * *

_**Preview:**_

_1. Snape's POV is next, talk with Maria._

_Warning: Maria is a genius. Snape is an idiot. McGonagall is in shock. Flitwick is finding it all funny._

_2. The mystery of the absence of Millicent is continued…_

_(Err, no I haven't wrote about her yet, so don't go off on some rant complaining how you have no clue what I'm talking about)_

_3. Sirius Black! Yeah, that's right!_

_4. Spyro gets some honey._

_5. Headmaster's office infiltrated by Mr. Kitty Kitty._

_6. Sophos finds out he has a stalker._

_7. Lucius comes to Hogwarts!_

* * *

…

…

…

_If you kill me I'm suing you._

_Umm…._

_Why did I take so long…?_

_Well, funny thing…_

_First off, I moved (not changing schools or anything like that…)_

_Second, sooo many projects and essays and blah…_

_Third, I have annoying family members hovering around me while I am trying to write about a fictional character that is psycho._

_(Anyone else has a problem like that, too? Well, you should be happy to know you're not alone!)_

_Fourth, I am so lazy I'm actually concerned for myself._

_Okay. Well. I'll write the authors note after the second part because I'm tired and want to go to bed. Soo…_

_Review! And thanks for the reviews!_

_(Yes, I promise, promise, PROMISE the next part of this chapter will be up a lot faster then this one)_

_~Vayah_

_P.S. I do hope you people looked up Ozostomia, I thought it was pretty hilarious when I wrote it last chapter… Then again, I have a weird sense of humor so..._

_P.P.S. MWHAHA, I bet your confused now, hmmm?_

_P.P.P.S If there is a part of the story where it suddenly stops (a sentence for a paragraph) then I was probably editing it and forgot I had it, so… Whatever. I don't think I do, it's just a precaution._

_And yes, I know I didn't even really have Selynda in this one- I did at first and would have if I didn't spilt the chapter, so you guys will see her next._

_Oh, and this chapter would make more sense if I put times up, but I didn't feel like it as of now. Eh. Later._


	11. The Taste of Madness, Part 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Warning: Anything you can think of- Just in case**

Normal- Blah

Thoughts- _Blah_

Speaking - "Blah"

Latin- _*Blah*_

Greek- _~Blah~_

Mind Speech-_ ::Blah::_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Gobbledegook- ^_Blah_^

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 9, Part 2: The Taste of Madness_

_

* * *

_

_Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, _

_But still,_

_Somehow,_

_You just can't stop it._

_~Elizabeth Wurtzel_

_OoOoO_

_Ostensibly rigorous and realistic, _

_Contemporary conservatism is an ideology of denial._

_Its symbol is a smile button._

_~Christopher Lasch_

_

* * *

_

He could feel it. That buzzing in his ears, that wobbling of his step and that weight of a hippogriff pressing in on his mind after it drunk too much mead from that overgrown oaf.

Shock.

Disbelief.

How could he have been so stupid? Bloody hell, he should have seen the warning signs, listened to Dumbledore and shoved Veritaserum down that brat's throat.

So. Potter. The next Dark Lord. Apprentice to the madman at the moment.

He should have paid attention to his instincts.

Didn't he know, subconsciously, when speaking with Petunia? None of his 'Accidental Magic' made any sense. Or it did; it just wasn't normal, wasn't natural and just wasn't _right_. That hamster. Those children. _Disappearing_ and whatever else he had forgotten?

Salazar. It was so _obvious_.

Severus Snape watched in a dizzy daze as that elemental-

(_Elemental_! If the tightening in his chest was anything to go by, he was going to have a heart attack- at least he'd get away from Potter and the insanity that follows him like a lost puppy)

- walked back and forth, brow furrowed, looking slightly confused as if she was trying something new that she didn't entirely know the directions to. Then she suddenly started walking toward a door that he was sure hadn't been there before.

Severus stumbled- which was a testimony to how absolutely shocking this day had been- into the wide circular room. Sun shone in from a huge window that was obviously charmed as it showed a breathtaking, white sand beach with crystal clear water that crashed onto the shore. The room itself was beautiful, soft deep purples and sliver standing out as it was mostly clean white.

_This shouldn't be here…_ He thought distantly.

He could only imagine how they looked as a group. One brilliant and in shock potions master- check, One demented evil Dark Lord- check, One psychotic Dark Prince whose supposed to be the savior of the world- check, One up tight feline- check, One blustering happy little man- check, One fabled arrogant elemental- check…

Now all they were missing was the butterfly eating Dark Princess and they were set.

The elemental waved them to white, plushy, velvet seats and sat down herself next to the evil imp and his vile old master.

"So…" she began. She had a strange accent Severus couldn't place. "I'm sure you're all pretty confused… But. Well. There is a change that you should probably immediately know about while you all are too shocked to do anything so…" She paused for a moment, tugging at her muggle jacket. "Well, firstly, Marv, you're the new headmaster… for now."

They all simply stared at the girl. Severus wanted to throttle her.

"Next… Dumbledore is currently at Hogshead where he will be leaving to go the France for a bit, trying to gain support. Then he'll make a pathetic attempt at convincing the Wizgoment that Voldemort is back and is going to destroy the world. Blah. Whatever. No problem, Spyro-

(Potter made an odd twitch of his head)

- and Tonks will take care of that. And no-" she said sharply to the Dark Lord who was obviously attempting to get up (made difficult by Potter holding his hands hostage). "you will not track Dumbledore down and kill him. He'll be providing some nice entertainment for the next few years, and I don't want to pass that up. Sure, he'll be incredibly irritating but- trust me- it's worth it. Sort of."

"Umm…" the brat-who-lived spoke up hesitantly. "Who are you?"

Elemental Girl raised a brow. "I already told you."

"Ria. I know. But I don't really _know _you."

"Do you really know somebody when you've just met them?" She asked, not rhetorically, but in genuine curiosity. "Legilimency, auras, or do you just _know_?"

Brat shrunk a little. "Auras, but I can't really use them here without the glasses. And I haven't really used Legilimency much since coming here and I don't just _know_ people. I was asking like a normal person- I don't know your last name, where you came from, what you're doing here…"

"Ah. Well, I'm not supposed to tell you my last name _or_ where I came from. But I can tell you that I'm just following what Magick wants me to do, and it'd be impossible for me not to do it."

The boy stared at her for a whole minute before his vivid green eyes widened drastically.

Meanwhile, Severus was trying very hard not to think. After all this insanity is over, he'd go to his quarters, get completely wasted and_ then_ examine everything that had been said after he had woken up.

"_Holy Shesha_!" The boy yelped. "Are you-?"

"Yes. Now shut up, the others aren't supposed to know. Just you and Shila. And Marv- when he realizes what we're talking about, I mean. Got it?"

The boy gaped at her for a moment before nodding.

Elemental Girl muttered, "How delectable," before she turned to the Dark Lord. "If you don't figure it out in two days, you're the biggest idiot since Ronald Weasley." She paused. "Forget that he's younger then you."

"Right." The Dark Lord said warily.

"Thinking Sophos finally drove you insane?"

"You know me so well."

"That I do. Now, and , I know you probably believe you're in a dream or someone has-"

"No." Minerva interrupted sharply.

Elemental Girl blinked. "Um… Pardon?"

"No. No one has done anything. I'm not in a dream either. No doubt the universe has almost just collapsed because of Harry Potter and Selynda Pomiodes. And for some reason you are in the thick of it and you are also the only one who seems to know what exactly is going on, so tell me whatever is true and I'll listen and believe you."

The girl gawked at Minerva incredulously. Then she said slowly and sympathetically, "Wow. Shila wasn't exaggerating. They completely knocked you into reality."

…And here Severus thought that only the brat and his faithful side-kick could say anything as twisted as _that_.

"But," continued the girl, "They haven't imploded the universe- they're the ones trying to save it. Well, two of the one's of them." Here she looked pointedly at the malicious bastard.

And before he knew it, Severus was yelling. His confused brain watched helplessly as his mouth took over not even bothering to try and get the rest of his body to join, like it should have. That way, at least, they'd be able to try to curse the Dark Lord through the wall.

"_What_!" He roared making everyone in the room jump. "He has been murdering innocents, ripping families apart," _Killed Lily_, "torturing people into insanity, stealing classified and precious information on the ministry and magical artifacts and-"

"Pushing Magick where it has never been pushed before," The brat cut in smartly.

Then the Dark Lord said something that he had never expected. Something that Severus would have had that heart attack from- the sheer incongruity and madness of it- if the man had asked him before his demise from a fifteen month old child. Or when his brain could understand what was going on.

"What is your _problem_, Snape?"

Severus, instead of his poor heart giving out, was simply unable to believe what he'd just heard.

"Yeah," The girl said eyeing Severus weirdly. "What's your problem with Quirinus?"

Now Severus gaped at her. Which was something absolutely unacceptable for someone with his spy experiences but this was all just too much.

"Quirinus- _QUIRINUS_! He's not bloody _Quirrell_, he's VOLDEMORT!"

The girl didn't even blink. "Oh, so you fell for it. Pity. I thought you were actually smart."

"_What_?"

"I know, how stupid of me- you're obviously a moron."

Severus was about to explode and kill the silly chit, he knew it.

"So," She said turning back to the old cat, "Big Bee is-"

"He's _Voldemort_!" Severus bellowed trying to get the fools in the room to open their eyes, not really even wondering why he was completely loosing it just knowing that he had to get Lily's son out of here and smack him back two years for acting even more idiotic than Potter.

"No he's not," Now the girl was looking at Severus like he had just sprouted antlers and a tail. "He's Dumbledore."

"_What_!"

"I know these revelations of common sense must be making your head spin, but can you shut up? You're even more annoying then Spyro. At least when he's talking he's saying something intelligent. Quirinus- And- Dumbledore- Are- Not- Voldemort." She enunciated carefully and slowly like he was a four year old that didn't speak English.

Severus' brain was so jumbled up that this mouth could only understand his outrage. He snarled.

"Why is everyone doing that?" Brat asked in confusion. "I really don't see the point. It just makes you look stupid."

Severus' brain agreed.

"Anyway, as I was saying, Big Bee is really a crazy lunatic that sees life as a chess board with him as a player and others as the pieces in his little world. But then Tommy-boy came along and turned his board in a different direction, and Big Bee didn't notice when kid-evil became another player. He still doesn't. He refuses to see. And he hasn't noticed that Sophos is a third. Hmm. Then again, there are eight players, if you count me- 'cause then you have Shila, Koru, Branwen, and Pax. Uh, I'm pretty horrible at explaining things- I swear it's because of Shila, she couldn't even give a sound reason to why cutting paper with scissors is easier than trying to cut it with a butter knife and yet she knows… well, everything better than anyone."

They all stared. Severus saw Potter raise his hand.

"Yes?"

"Who are Pax and… the other people?"

"Friends."

"So Chaos then," The boy said dryly, tilting his head slightly to the side almost ironically.

"Yes," The girl agreed in the same tone. "That's why we're knocking him down… and he is an annoying old man sticking his crooked, shriving nose where it doesn't belong."

"But that's eight."

"Wow. You can count. Happy day."

The boy gave her a look.

"It's why we are knocking him down," She repeated with a roll of her eyes.

"I know. I just thought that wasn't even possible."

"It isn't, _which is why we're knocking him down_… or you could lump yourself with Shila... or you can say you're a mega player, 'cause you kinda are. _Or_ maybe you and Marv are the only players with an audience helping you… Or not, because you two aren't against each other… I don't know anymore; like I said, I'm not good at metaphors or explaining or whatever it is I'm doing. It's also added to the fact that Spyro has been trying to get me to be a '_normal non proper speaking English_' teenager."

The boy looked lost.

If he was confused, it was nothing to how Severus' brain was right now.

"But… we're at-"

"I know. Shila hasn't clued you in on Cineraceus Mors yet, has she?"

"No."

The girl sighed, exasperate as though she was teaching an eight year old why two plus two wasn't five. "Think of CMI- but so much that Shesha coils back."

The boy blinked. "CMI? Chaotic Magick Imbalance…? That's not possible. Wait- How did we jump from Big Bee's mental disorder to this?"

"No comment."

"What do you mean about Shesha? I know it's about a serpent or something…"

The girl looked at him in high astonishment. "Shila didn't tell you about_ Shesha_? Jeez, she really likes to shield you… Then again she's probably trying to save others from _you_. Interesting. That's certainly food for thought."

But now the boy was looking at her intently, eyes narrowed. "Tell me."

He spoke it like a command, like an evil Dark Lord forcing his slaves into submission with just two words that would cause them to wet themselves.

Severus imagined that Voldemort was sadistically proud right now.

"I can't, Sophos," The girl said reluctantly, actually looking apologetic.

The boy suddenly looked crestfallen, startling Severus and probably everyone in the room… except that girl.

"Oh. Sad."

"Yeah."

Both seemed to be in an honorary mournful silence, like they were at a funeral. They had their heads bowed, shoulders hunched and their hands clasped tightly on their laps.

It was utterly_ ridiculous_.

"Oh, for Salazar's sake!" Severus said loudly in frustration.

He really knew he should have taken out his wand by now and blasted the Dark Lord out of the room, but his brain just couldn't send the singles to the rest of his body.

The girl giggled. Then her shoulders shook. Then she suddenly burst into peels of laughter that began to make their way to hysteria

"I wish Spyro was here," she coughed between breaths with a huge grin stretched across her face, "He would have died and I wouldn't have to deal with him… then again, he'd come back just to annoy me… Hold on, isn't he immortal or something…? Well, that stinks."

Severus' brain pointed out to him that he had just said something idiotic again without knowing it.

Severus wanted to bang his head against the wall.

He had thought only Dumbledore and Potter could bring that feeling forward.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Ooh, and over there are a bunch of oblivious idiots who are having a concilliabule." Salazar pointed at a window on a door.

Tonks in peered curiously. Inside were fat men in blue and black suits, all with the same slicked back hair, seeming to argue around puffs of cigar smoke. One even had a cat in his lap, petting the fluffy thing that looked as though it wanted to bolt or scratch the Hell out of the man's meaty hand.

"The one with the red tie looks capernoited, doesn't he?" Salazar asked lightly, his lips twitching with amusement and revulsion.

(The pink haired girl wanted to ask him how he did that but figured she'd never be able to do it anyway so it was a waste of time.)

Tonks didn't know what that meant but searched for who he was talking about.

(Her mother always got her a dictionary on Christmas along with her other presents just as a tradition. Also along tradition, Tonks never read any of it.)

"Oh, the drunk guy?"

"Yes."

"Gross," Tonks said wrinkling her nose. The man seemed to be flirting with a wall and drooling as he made obscene gestures.

"Quite."

"They're not going to be minions of mine, are they?" Tonks asked anxiously.

"Only if you want, but no. I just have them there so that I can study how exsibilation differs after people say something stupid or horribly immoral or anything like that. Also how amusingly inaniloquent they become after a few drinks and how it affects their planning."

Tonks really didn't know what that meant either. She looked suspiciously at the boy.

(she still didn't know if she could actually call him a man seeing as he didn't look like it and how she had heard that he had died young- she wondered if '_young'_ meant thirteen years old, which would be ridiculous because there was no way he could have started a school so quickly.)

Tonks was starting to think that Salazar just used really long, confusing words (Unless he was actually giving her a vocabulary lesson- she wouldn't put it past him) to see how long it'd take for her to ask him to stop.

Well, there was a reason why she had been telling people since she was five to call her Tonks; she was the most stubborn girl you could find anywhere, or so her mother says.

"I'm not going to give in," She murmured riotously.

It was only when Salazar gave her a strange look that she realized that she had spoken aloud.

"Good for you. Though I honestly have no idea what you mean."

Tonks smiled sheepishly. "Forget I said that."

"Sorry. I can't. The brain forgets nothing, it just has a hard time recalling something after a while, but when you tell someone to purposely try to displace it, it normally forces the person to remember whatever it is with more clarity… So, yeah, I'm probably always going to back to this conversation, wondering what in Shesha's name you're talking about, but…" Salazar shrugged and started walking. "Oh well, you tried."

Tonks felt a silly grin spread across her face as she fell into a step with the kid. She was really beginning to love this world. Then she smirked.

Moody would fall back into society's hand when he'd hear this. It will be oh-so very amusing to watch her paranoid, lawless (which was hypocritical considering he was the best auror of the century) mentor deny the claims that the darkest wizard in the history of the world was back and would try to have her committed. He'd have to have paperwork filled out stating that he didn't believe her, that she had thought something so bizarre, so insane that it made him snap back into logical and rational thinking.

Tonks started to laugh gleefully at the utter insanity and pandemonium as her hair turned black and dangerously spiky.

"Err…" Salazar said a little uneasily. "I think you've been around me too long. Maybe you should talk to someone that still has their sanity… Or go get some sleep, you're creeping me out."

But Tonks felt recklessness seize her and she shouted "NOO!" on the top of her lungs and raced down the hall, still cackling madly, trying to remember that she was acting stupid and probably looked like an overgrown toddler having a temper tantrum.

But it was a different world and she can be as insane as she wanted.

She faintly heard Salazar's voice-

(The tunnels were enormous and round like a giant ground hog had dug its way through. It made the sounds echo and carry further… either that or Salazar _wanted _her to hear)

-twisted with amusement and horror say, "Shesha, I've created a monster. How delightful."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Koru! Stop it now!"_

"Ow_! What are you_ doing_?"_

_A very amused fourteen year old boy was dragging his best friend by his ear out of the party and up wide sweeping stairs. He didn't have time for his brother to make a fool of himself in front of the tittering masses of girls that were giggling and whispering and they made their leave. Though Spyro supposed he couldn't really balm them seeing as he was manhandling someone bigger and taller than he was. _

"_Spyro! Ouch! _Stop_!" Koru squawked. _

_But the dark haired boy ignored him. _

_Once they came upon a tall wooden door the Spyro released his scowling brother, knocked in quick succession and waited._

_Then a slot that hadn't been there before slid over from the door revealing pale blue eyes that were sharp with intelligence that had bronze strands reaching out from her pupil almost as though it held small suns within. And then a girl who couldn't be much older then them spoke:_

"If you say my name,

I'll no longer exist_."*_

"_What?" Koru blurted out. "You'll change your na- OW! _SALAZAR_!"_

"_Terribly sorry, my Lady. I'm sure Godric meant to say '_silence_.'"_

_The girl glanced at Spyro and looked back suspiciously at the light haired boy then withdrew. _

_Spyro swore internally and stomped on Koru's foot again._

"_AH! _Hey_! Wh-?"_

_But Spyro slapped a hand over his mouth and hissed at him to be quiet. __When Koru stopped struggling and just glared at him, he released the blabbering prat._

"_Bloody idiot," Spyro grumbled and he stepped back up to the door and knocked again, throwing Koru a sharp look that obviously said, '_Open your mouth one more time and you'll find you no longer possess a tongue_.'_

_The slot opened once more and when the girl caught sight of them she immediately went to leave but Spyro's hand shot out and caught before it could close. The blue eyes glared at him._

"_Or perhaps," Spyro said softly, "You were speaking not of the silence but the warning in continuing it. When not one person knows from the fear behind the history, the people do not see. They do not listen. They do not achieve. They fall to… Cineraceus Mors."_

_The eyes widened, but there was no expression when she answered._

"_That is… acceptable."_

_Spyro wanted very badly to roll his eyes and snort but restrained himself with difficulty._

_Acceptable indeed._

_He heard Koru whisper loudly in his ear as the girl opened the door, the sounds of many locks and wards being taken down covering it up, "Why the bloody Hell are we here and _what_ in Shesha's name are you prattling on about?"_

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Easily ignoring the stares (it was a regular occurrence now) he sat gracefully (so he thought) on the bench of the snake's table between his faithful… Well, he didn't really know what to call them. They were hardly '_friends_,' they were too stupid to form legible words nine-tenths of the time let alone have the ability to converse. Servants…? Minions…? Devoted imbeciles?

… That one could work.

And they wouldn't even know what he said.

Draco smirked the Malfoy Smirk ignoring the bright flashes of light and the admirable, dreamy sighs from the students around him.

"No doubt they'll be speculating what was so amusing worthy of the great Draco Malfoy in the Prophet tomorrow."

Draco jerked his head around-

(Raised his head slowly and dangerously, chin raised in defiance, eyes carefully accessing the threat… That's what he did. _Of course_. He was a _Malfoy_, after all… _Hem-hem_.)

-and his eyes widened comically (_narrowed dangerously_!) at the boy. The seventh year… the scary man-child (_sniveling second year_!).

"Oh?" He asked neutrally, though his voice cracked.

(_Denied, denied, denied…)_

Draco had been getting some murderous glares from the upperclassmen of Slytherin- and oddly Hufflepuff- though he still didn't know why, and it was truly frightening him…

(Really no point in denying that)

It didn't help that he still didn't know why he was suddenly famous, and new apparent poster Golden-Boy. He had a feeling he _really _didn't want to know.

Damn Potter straight to the Dark Lord.

A wicked grin flashed across his face at the image of James Bond's, Jack Sparrow's and Harry Potter's comeuppance doom.

"… and you better- _Are you laughing at me_?"

That wiped the silly smile from his face.

"N-no!" Draco exclaimed in panic. Seventh years had magical knowledge far above his league, not counting how he was sure that that 'kid' could put him in a coma just by sitting on him. "I wasn't paying any attention, honest!"

That did not appear to be the right thing to say.

"_You mangy little brat_!" The brut roared.

When he whipped his wand from his robes Draco really panicked.

He scrambled up so fast that he sent his omelet and bacon flying to the Hufflepuff table. Draco ignored the shriek of the girl and bolted to the door.

"_Fodiohumili _!"

Draco hastily dropped to the floor as a sickly yellow bolt shot straight at his backside. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he felt the curse crackle and slam into the wall with a force that shook the stone ground.

Panting, and clutching his painful side-

(The only exercise that he really got was from Quidditch and he hadn't been allowed to play for the last month at home just because he ripped off his mother's curtains and set them on fire. Draco still didn't see what the fuss was about- they were absolutely hideous, he was saving the family from having to look at them.)

-he pushed a Ravenclaw he recognized from one of his classes out of the way into the furious seventh year's path to slow him down.

_Yes!_ Draco thought hearing the sound of the wails of the girl and the swearing of the brut. He was quickly approaching the exist, _Almost there-_

"_Inseroroseus_!"

Draco jumped to the side before realizing his mistake.

The spell had not come from the Slytherin seventh year.

A bolt of orange slammed into his side (right on his side-stitch). It was put with so much force and came so fast that the momentum that Draco had already going from his foolish jump sent him smashing into Slytherin table. _Splat!_ he went onto a plate of pie with whipped-cream on top.

He vaguely heard peopling screaming and laughing.

Draco's attention wasn't really focused on that at the moment.

Twenty percent was bemoaning how hard the tables were.

The other eighty percent was staring in horror at his rapidly changing skin.

It was ripping and bulging weirdly like there were live bugs crawling under it. It seemed to become immediately irritated as everywhere was turning pink. His entire head felt like it was being rubbed with a horse brush until he was sure that it somehow caused a fire to burn on his scalp.

Draco shrieked in horror (_He did not, dammit! He just annoyingly sighed!_), tried to stand and promptly tripped over someone's foot that conveniently stuck out at that exact moment, falling again into the mushy food again.

"GET HIS ROBES!"

"_WHAT_!" Draco tried to scream but all that came out was "_WUGH_!"

_Damn Harry fucking Potter to _Hell!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Oh, Draco…"

Lucius really, _really _wished that he hadn't come by at all and just risked the information being leaked out by post.

They sat in Severus' office, the father staring, the boy apparently transfixed by the half of his shoe that was still on his foot.

The only thing other then the half of his custom made dragon hide boots that made it through the attack was the boy's underwear and that was only because one of the teachers was able to distract the beast children long enough for the boy to run.

While that appearance in itself would be enough to stop someone short, it was nothing compared to what the girl's spell did.

Lucius was able to confirm quite confidently that it was an original curse, meaning no counter (unless the girl had made one, but he'd take care of that later). Also meaning that Draco would be stuck like how he was until they could find a way to reverse it. He had to admit (but not out loud- he would_ never_ want another 'Draco Malfoy Temper Tantrum' _ever_, he'd even choose to be crucio'ed over _that_) but it really was some very fantastic spell work.

Draco was completely pink, from head to his little_ pinky_ toe.

(Sometimes Lucius just cracked himself up)

Not only that, but over his body his skin was raised in some places like a burn, but it was set in intricate designs of vines and leaves that were completely black so it looked like the boy had gotten tattoos. And his _hair_! The gleaming white-blond hair was now _bright green_. Actually, it wasn't even _hair_ it was _grass_. And it had roses growing up from his _roots_.

(Really _tickled pink_ up here…)

Lucius Malfoy would normally be absolutely furious at the Hufflepuff chit, but…

Well, it really _was_ some great spell work…

And it was rather funny.

(_Snerk_)

(He decided to ignore the family reputation as of this moment- but only this time- because, honestly, he had much more to deal with… Another being to try and figure out how that ridiculous story about his son that was so obviously _not true_ had gotten out into the _Daily Prophet_, of all things, and how everyone seemed to believe it)

"Well…" Lucius really didn't know what to say about the situation to his son so he decided to steer the conversation (that was nonexistent) in another direction. "I've gotten orders… from the Dark Lord."

(Good thing that Severus Snape's office was warded and silenced or else the Terrible Twins that were strolling by- _cough_tryingtoeavesdrop_cough_- would have heard that)

Draco's head snapped up so fast that Lucius swore heard an alarming crack.

"Really?" Draco asked excitedly. "What did he say? Was he looking for how to kill Potter? Right now? I could go find-"

"No," Lucius interrupted, a bit bewildered not only by his master's strange instructions but by Draco's… somewhat odd reaction. "That's not-" he suddenly stopped and looked at his son incredulously. "Even your _eyes_ are yellow- it looks like daises! _Salazar_, that girl is good."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Lucius said quickly. "Anyway..." He coughed awkwardly (He had been doing quite the un-Malfoy-like things today… must be the shock) "Basically, what the Dark Lord wants you to do… You won't be pleased, Draco, but you _must_…"

"I'll do it," Draco said immediately, puffing out his chest, looking ridiculously like a talking plant or grass elf… if there was such a thing. "It is a great honor to serve the Lord."

"Um… Right. You keep that in mind, Draco."

Draco gave him an annoyed look and said impatiently, "Father, I'm ready. Whatever the Dark Lord wants, I'll do it."

Lucius wasn't so sure about that. He couldn't even take him seriously at the moment because he was becoming a walking garden. "You must shadow Potter and keep him safe, protect him the very best you can and follow all of his orders he gives you… _both _theDark Lord's and the boy's instructions."

Draco's jaw dropped.

Lucius looked in awe at his son's mouth. His teeth seemed to be bark and his tongue looked like it had moss growing on it. Who was that girl? He'd have to meet her and hire her for spell creation and construction… He'd just have to make sure Draco never found out about it.

"Wh-_What_?"

"Yes," Lucius said absentmindedly, trying to remember the girl's face. "The Dark Lord occasionally has some very odd instructions… just follow them, Draco, it can't be that hard to watch an eleven-year old idiot, as you've said."

Lucius watch interestingly as Draco's entire body began flushing crimson red and he positively beamed when he saw a small thundercloud appear above the boy's head.

Who _was _that girl?

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"WHAT! YOU'RE _LYING_, YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

The boy _pouted_. "No I'm not! I'm telling you, we planned it all out! _Honestly_," The boy sighed dramatically in exasperation. "Why would I join someone who killed my parents? That's just messed up."

Severus spluttered, unable to form any words for how absolutely dunderheaded the boy was.

Bastard sighed too. "Seriously, Snape, do I even _look_ like Who-Know-Who? I mean, Pomiodes came up with the eye change idea but I didn't actually think Dumbledore would fall for it."

"I know; Big Bee's so moronic- just like Bat Grease over there," the elemental said in a mock whisper, "I mean, how dense can you be to believe that a dead Dark Lord possessed a professor of Hogwarts?" She turned back Severus. "Think about it, you nasty old bat, his magical signature would have shown up on the wards when he passed through- _on the first day he was here_- so Dumbledore would have known and kicked him out."

That plain, little smidgen of logic is what stopped Severus up short.

"…"

Elemental Girl nodded her head like she was agreeing with him and smiled indulgently. "And apparently he was insane if he truly thought that Voldemort was here again... and let him stay here. You know. If it _was _Voldemort. Your Mark isn't active again, is it?"

Severus stared.

"See! He's not here. Duh."

Severus stared some more.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hello, Daphne."

The blond ice princess (as she wouldn't be given the title of 'queen' until her cousin graduated) jumped, spilling her ink all over her potions essay that she had been working on for the last two hours.

Normally, she'd give a scathing look and verbally shred the idiot who was responsible to pieces but that wasn't really an option for dealing with a part basilisk girl.

"H-Hi."

Daphne cursed herself in her mind. She knew that the girl wouldn't hurt her even if she was pretty crazy, but she just couldn't help herself- after all, it wasn't every day that you met an eleven-year old girl that could kill you with one glance if you looked at her funny.

(She knew Selynda wouldn't do that either, but still…)

It was when Selynda sat down slowly and just stared off into space, her face pitched like she was about to cry, that Daphne realized the girl wasn't even paying any attention to her.

Daphne suddenly wanted to do something,_ anything_ to help the usually energetic, bouncing, silly girl but she had no clue what. The only other person she had ever comforted was her little sister. She didn't know Selynda Pomiodes that well; therefore, she didn't know how she would take to a person who had been avoiding her nonstop since the breakfast incident. Selynda would probably think Daphne was only trying to be nice to her so she didn't rip off her head… Daphne had a feeling Selynda wouldn't like that.

"You don't have to be afraid, you know," Selynda said suddenly, still staring at the brick wall like it was telling her the most bloody and heartbreaking story in existence (… Daphne _may_ have been exaggerating a bit. Her mother always told her she was much too melodramatic). "I don't bite… Well, I do to eat but I promise that I've never haven eaten a human before. I've never even eaten any rodents, either, and I've never been hungry enough to, thank Shesha. I had chicken before, but most humans have so I don't think that really counts."

"Oh…"

Daphne really didn't know what to say. How could she even begin to explain that her terror was really only from the spooky stories her father used to tell her and Astoria so they didn't try to go into the forest next to their manor without him?

Plus, she was trying to hold in the ridiculous question of if the girl ate the chicken _whole_.

"Err… Are you okay?"

Daphne could just smack herself- of course she wasn't okay!

"No."

At least Selynda was honest and didn't beat around the bush like the other Slytherins. It got old, _really_ fast.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not with you."

Daphne couldn't help but feel a slight pang. That had hurt.

But then Selynda frowned and glanced over at her. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to offend you. I just meant I'd rather talk about it to Sophos- Harry, I mean- but I don't really know where he is. Well, I know the direction but Hogwarts isn't letting me go right now, so I guess he's in the middle of something."

Was the jealously Daphne heard…? No. She didn't think so. It sounded more like Selynda was frustrated.

"That's okay, I understand." Daphne hesitated for a moment before she plunged on.

(Well, the Sorting Hat did say that she could be reckless when need be)

"You can talk to me if you want while he isn't here. It might make you feel better."

Such an annoyed expression crossed the black haired girl's face that Daphne thought Selynda would tell her to sod off. Instead she started talking.

Or…ranting.

"I'm away for one hour- _one hour_- and Sophos goes and does something stupid or life threatening, or _something_." Selynda threw her arms into the air. Where she flung her hand a great scar appeared on the ceiling, the sound of the rocks grinding and breaking not even reaching the ears of the other students in the common room-

(Daphne was trying to ignore the fact that she either just witnessed Wandless Magic or very powerful Accidental Magic- though she couldn't stop herself from looking around in confusion, trying to spot where the flying debris landed)

-except apparently Selynda (Daphne definitely didn't hear anything) as she grimaced and glanced up before huffing in annoyance and then promptly sat on her hands. "_Oops_. I really need to be careful, there's a lake above us… Sorry. Anyway… Oh yeah, not only that, but Hogwarts is keeping me from my Snake-Child, _my_ little brother- _Mine_! I already said that... Now, top that off with finding out I unintentionally, might have found out who my birth parents are. I. Am. Not. _Calm_."

Daphne saw Selynda throw a bright sliver eyed glare at some boy who had obviously been staring at them curiously (Daphne strongly suspected he saw some of the flying rocks). The boy froze, his eyes widened in terror. To Daphne it looked like he'd need a new pair of pants soon if he was such a coward.

Or no pants- after all, he seemed just fine in dresses.

Daphne turned back to Selynda, expecting her to continue her story ('Parents' with an_ s_ meant a _basilisk_), but Selynda was looking at the boy with wide eyes, not in _anger_ but horror and fear.

Daphne saw her mouth, '_Oooops_.'

"Selynda…?"

"Daphne?" Selynda's voice was quiet and shaky which almost scared Daphne more than the boy looked.

"Yes?" Daphne asked nervously.

"Please _don't panic _but I think I just petrified that kid."

…

…

…

_Don't panic! What the bloody-_

"Also," Selynda continued with an air of ending an epic tale, "I never got any butterflies today." She looked down sadly, her bottom lip quivering. She sniffed. "And now a boy is petrified. Not a fun day."

And there went any semi-normal conversation Daphne had with the black-haired girl.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The kneazle looked around the Headmaster's office in satisfaction and purred contently, his pleasure of the old goat (at least that's what he smelt like) being gone echoed by the ancient phoenix that was standing happily on its perch.

It was no worries- he'd be able to prank the old man when he got back. The scaly girl and the guardian wouldn't mind.

After all, it was hardly Mr. Kitty Kitty's fault that the geezer left. And by his insane ranting the goat would be coming soon.

* * *

_**Preview:**__ Explanations from Selynda and Sophos, completely explaining what they've done in the summer and why they did the things the way they did even if it wasn't along with their original plan. You might just see what happened in the Chamber for both Sophos and Selynda (though you most likely only get Selynda… depends on my mood). And more on Bat Grease and Big Bee._

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_Okay. So I wasn't expecting that this wouldn't be the end of The Taste of Madness. So part three is coming up next and it'll hopefully answer a lot of questions and then I'll write a really, really long Author's Note, just to make you guys happy. Sorry this chapter was so short. And again, if any part just stops then I was probably editing it and forgot._

_But! Good news! My midterms are over! Whoop! So I have all break to write so it'll be up really soon. Good, huh?_

_OH! And vote on the poll, I would've been able to put more in here if I knew which ones I'd be doing._

_-Vayah_


	12. The Taste of Madness, Part 3 AN

**A/N: YOU BETTER READ THIS OR ELSE YOU'RE JUST STUPID AND ARE GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED!**

**OKAY! Err… hi. Yeah, this is sorta awkward. No rude and patronizing comments about this, I already decided awhile ago that this was what I was going to do.**

**Okay. I'm revising the whole story. Everything that is written fairly good will stay the same but I began writing this story before the end of eighth grade so my writing skills have improved (or at least I think they did- they **_**better**_** have). I know in the beginning I said that I wouldn't change any chapters until the story was done but every time I read through the damn thing it made me sick- which is why I've been putting this off for so long. This story is officially on HIATUS.**

**Seriously, don't worry, all the characters and events will be practically the same but I'm making it more understandable and a better read altogether. I'll add some events that I deem are needed, but other than that… Nope. **

**You may have noticed the extremely long wait… Yeah, well, I was getting frustrated because in my writing class I was asked to write about (okay, so**_** I**_** chose, but it went with the assignment) a pompous girl that had family problems, contemplating the end of the world as she watched the history channel (we had to make a short story from a poem and I choose Jack Frost's, Fire and Ice) and frankly I was horrified of how good it was. It made me furious at myself for not putting my best into Cineraceus Mors. **

**So, yeah, this is what I wrote in- oh, I don't know- about four days after I posted the last chapter, so there it's going to be short compared to the others, 'cause I stopped, obviously. Be happy, I wasn't even going to put it up. It's unedited, (**_**snigger**_**- you're just going to**_** kill**_** me, **Draeconin**, aren't you? Thanks for the reviews, by the way; they made me happy to know I wasn't the only one suffering from my deplorable performance- and no, I'm really not being sarcastic. They were critical and funny, which I really like as feedback because it points out things I need improvement on and makes me a better writer. Though I'd like to know if you know about malapropism because I don't think you do…) and missing various events that I was actually going to write before I went in my mini depression/frustration. Such as that explanation I promised, and the chamber scenes and other things I forgot about but won't look back on just for this authors note… Oopsy. Oh well, after I revise everything you won't **_**need **_**an explanation, you'll just be wondering what will happen next- well, you might want one, but I won't give it unless I didn't realize I made it confusing, because it will most likely turn up in future chapters.**

_**One more thing**_**. So I don't go crazy (it's debatable whether I already am, so **_**crazier**_**) I started writing another story but **_**don't get mad**_**, CM is my priority **_**and**_** my favorite, I'm just doing it because I was seriously nauseous with how I wrote this story. It's called Obsurum Fabula (Whoops, it's actually the title of a published book, but I didn't know that. But it's good to know that I actually translated it right- it means Darkness Tale or Darkness Story in Latin) and it's… Well, not like CM. That version of Harry is pretty messed up and I don't mean in a funny way (okay… I couldn't resist, he'll be funny to some people and a whining brat to others). He basically fooled everyone into believing he was a Golden-Boy like the cannon, and is now deciding to say, 'What the hell?' and show everyone what he's made of. Yeah, it's sorta dumb and, in a way, cliché. Warning: it's in first person POV. Its set in the beginning of Order of the Phoenix and chapter two is coming out soon as I procrastinate on the research project I'm supposed to be doing.**

**So… enjoy. **

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Warning: Anything you can think of- Just in case**

Normal- Blah

Thoughts- _Blah_

Speaking - "Blah"

Latin- _*Blah*_

Greek- _~Blah~_

Mind Speech-_ ::Blah::_

Parseltongue- _§Blah§_

Gobbledegook- ^_Blah_^

Writing/ Letters- **Blah/**_**Blah**_

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**Cineraceus Mors**

**Book 1: Principium**

_Chapter 9, Part 3: The Taste of Madness_

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_Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, _

_But still,_

_Somehow,_

_You just can't stop it._

_~Elizabeth Wurtzel_

_OoOoO_

_Ostensibly rigorous and realistic, _

_Contemporary conservatism is an ideology of denial._

_Its symbol is a smile button._

_OoOoO_

_I'm not in denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept._

_~Bill Watterson_

"_Ooh_- watch it-"

* * *

"I _know_, Selynda," The blonde haired girl snarled. "Shut up! Someone is going to hear us!"

Selynda grimaced. She hadn't thought that Daphne would be prone to panicking, but she was obviously proven wrong.

It had been a real… What was the saying again? A real… bitch? Yes, that was it. It had been a real _bitch_ to get that boy out of the Slytherin common room, out of the dungeons, past the nosy portraits (though most didn't care for the activities of the students there were some that Selynda knew spied on people for Big Bee) past the ghosts (Selynda wasn't counting Peeves as a ghost seeing as he helpfully hauled the kid up a flight of stairs for them and then distracted Filch when they heard him searching for his cat… Selynda would have to ask her snakechild what he bribed the poltergeist with to make him float around her head spouting out how amazing she and Sophos were) past the other students (thankfully most were making out too nosily to pay attention to the loud thumps and curses that the two girls made dragging the sixth year student around with them) and past the teachers (Well, at least she_ thought_ that insect-looking woman with the sherry bottles was a teacher).

It really didn't help that the kid was in such an awkward position. He was sitting as though he was still in the armchair with his hand raised, posed to write, holding a nonexistent quill.

(Daphne had ripped it out of his hand in a fit was rage with it poked her in the eye- Selynda was really starting to see the girl as a good soon-to-be best friend; Daphne had the impatience that Selynda and Sophos pretended they didn't have and with Daphne around no one would find out because she would act on her irritation first. It was a rather brilliant ruse in Selynda's opinion.)

His other hand griped his transfiguration essay, but both girls let that stay because it wasn't hurting them and because if Cat Lady ever found out about this at least she would see the boy was attempting his homework and his kidnappers were nice enough to let him keep it.

… Right.

All in all, it wasn't very fun.

Selynda also decided not to tell Daphne that she had no clue where they were going. She was basically wandering around for inspiration and for something to do.

She didn't think that Daphne would appreciate that.

But really, she had to tell the girl to watch were she was walking because if she had stepped even slightly to the left on these stairs then the weight distributed between them would shift quite… dangerously, and the kid would fall down the stone steps and crack his head open.

"But-"

"Selynda. Shut._ Up_." Daphne hissed between pants, obviously not aware of how loud_ she_ was being.

"Even if he's petrified," Selynda spoke quickly so that she wouldn't get yelled at again (it was _so_ much easier to deal with Sophos, and that was really saying something about Daphne- at least her snakechild knew when to listen to her if it was important), "it won't stop him from being grievously injured, so_ don't_-"

But it was too late.

Everything seemed to be slowing down in motion as the blonde haired girl stumbled and fell onto the banister. Selynda had to hunch forwards to try to keep her grip under the boy's arms but she had to either pull back and let go so she wouldn't fall down the stairs or hold on idiotically like some Gryffindor would do, causing both to be injured.

It wasn't such a hard decision, really. She_ was_ a Slytherin for a reason. She actually _wanted_ to live.

The boy slid from Selynda's grasp and she scrambled up and groped for the rail to regain her balance; the stairs were really, _really_ steep.

(Selynda swore they were almost as bad as the small little light house's iron spiral stairs that she had dragged Sophos to. Needless to say, it was Sophos had was prodding her onwards though it had to have taken them at let thirty minutes to make it to the top. Sophos hadn't wanted to die either, of course, but he still had wanted to see the view, the damn brat.)

Both girls watched with wide eyes as the boy, still frozen (Selynda was quite terrified they were about to see his head or appendages break off), toppled down the steep stairs, loud _thunks _echoing through the chamber. Selynda and Daphne would have winced at the sound if they weren't watching in morbid fascination at the disaster that was sure to come.

Their jaws dropped to the floor when the kid gained speed and was flung over the banister when his head hit a prodding angle.

_Bouncing stone steps… I have to remember to tell Sophos that…_

Everything was still at snail pace so it seemed that Daphne slowly brought her hands to her mouth as slowly leaned over to see the catastrophe, while Selynda's jade eyes widened to epic proportions and she exclaimed in a much deeper voice (which was rather bewildering- she wondered how it happened), "_Hoooooolyy Shhhhheeeeshhhhaaaaaaa_!"

Selynda and Daphne thought they'd just walk (still slowly) away and dig their own graves when they saw the boy's body barrel into the back of a blonde haired man.

Because this wasn't just any man. This was a _Malfoy_, and Malfoy's weren't above using blackmail for everything, and if they were caught with a boy that was _petrified _that fell on top of the _head_ of an ancient and noble house then they wouldn't even _bother_ with the blackmail and that was just plain scary. Oh, and he was on the board of governors for Hogwarts.

The hair was a very big give away. Selynda wanted to face palm… or just bite the man. Hm. Thank Shesha that she was a Potter now, she could get away with this- and Daphne too, of course. Then again… She wouldn't be a Potter if she wasn't a human and if she wasn't a human, this wouldn't have ever happened… Interesting. And boring. How in the world could Sophos stand reading about human behavior and all that junk? Where were the butterflies, anyway? Why hadn't Sophos got any yet?

Then suddenly, as Malfoy was knocked flat, time was normal again, and sounds flooded back into their senses.

Selynda wanted to laugh extremely badly, but she decided to settle for an upset stomach. It was made very hard by the pitiful and dramatic whimpers that Lord Malfoy was making.

Selynda suddenly could see why Draco was such a sissy.

_Grr_. Now she'd have to help the little ferret. Damn the compassionate genes from being a human or Slytherin (she doubted that) or the genes she had contracted from Sophos.

Probably Sophos. He had _Hufflepuff _blood, after all.

Hmm…

Of course, one thing to help the wussy little rodent would be to have him spend time with someone who grew up in not such a great setting, someone to help him pull out that stick that was shoved up his bony ass.

And someone to help him break through the stupid little reality that he thinks he lives in.

_Oooh_.

Selynda felt a smirk, the Slytherin Family smirk, the bone marrow chilling twitch of the lips that she'd seen adorned her dear snakechild's and the Dark Lord's face whenever they were up to something.

Something so bad it couldn't be anything but _delicious_.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The Dark Lord had to admit, the girl brilliant.

In all honesty, she reminded him of the boy and Selynda. Ria (Made-up nickname with a hidden meaning? Shorted form of her name?) had that air about her that those two had, knowing things that others don't and successfully twisting it just so, making their victims-

(Because, really, what else where those poor saps who fall to their insanity? Or their make-believe insanity- certain information recently presented was making him question whether they weren't just protégées set to take over the world. One example that was fairly obvious: Ripped from his body, a decade stuck in a form less then a spirit- though he called himself that because there wasn't a better word to describe what he was- less then the meanest ghost, agonizingly forcing himself to exist hour by hour, second by second; Sophos did that by _accident_, he was only a baby. What could he do _now_? Especially after training taught by a _Wonambi_, for Salazar's sake. No way in living Hell was Marv taking that risk again. And he didn't even want to kill them as of now, so it was mote point… Then again, the brat didn't seem to be interested in anything other then his own little world and the snake was too interested in eating insects)

-believe that they're being let in on a little piece of the secrets of the universe, confusing them so that they always come back for more answers.

It was awe inspiring.

Why hadn't _he _thought of it? Well, he had, to an extent, but they way they were doing it certainly would have moved things along more quickly.

The Dark Lord mentally shrugged as he really was finding he didn't very much care about the _why's_ at the moment, it was a waste of precious time, and turned back to the conversation at hand.

Snape was actually genuinely _apologizing _(it was positively mindboggling)for overreacting, looking extremely embarrassed and feeling it too… Which the Dark Lord would actually like to know how he knew, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't like the answer.

"Yeah, we get it, you're an idiot. We already know," Marv's (he was finding that stupid nickname difficult to get out of his head) lips twitched. The elemental girl really was a delight- he'd have to ask Sophos and Selynda to just talk to all their teachers like that if they'd be so amusing. By the way Sophos was playing along in perfect accord with Ria, they would be. "Now, Minnie," McGonagall didn't even look surprised or angry which made the Dark Lord actually feel sympathy for the woman. After all, he could relate.

(Some would actually think he was turning human…)

"Yoda," (Marv and Sophos snorted quietly in sync, which made Snape glare at them) Ria said solemnly, "You must get back to work and act as though nothing happened. But if someone asks for Big Bee, tell them he had died because he was actually was agerasia and went back to autolatry again because the medication- or potions- stopped working for him."

It was a mark of how unbalanced the day had been for none to bat an eye.

Newly deemed, Minnie and Yoda (for Marv was sure they'd never get rid of it, like how he knew- tragically- he'd never shake off 'Marv') bid their goodbye and left in obvious relief.

"What happened to 'Cat Lady'?"

Marv was surprised to see the boy pouting for_ real_ this time.

Oh, how he wished that he had brought a camera to record this whole day.

Ria shrugged. "She hates it when people call her Minnie. Besides, I liked Furball or whatever you called her, better. Shila needs more creative insults then _that_. I mean, _come on_."

Sophos nodded understandingly.

"Who is Shila?" Snape asked nastily.

It seemed that not even a humbling apology (_cough_embarrassingpublicmisfortune_cough_) could make that greasy git shut up for more than a couple of minutes.

"Well, she went through fazes every now and then, but she will always be remembered as Princess Human Soul Eater." Ria snickered.

Snape simply stared while Sophos blinked and frowned and Marv decided that he wanted avgolemono soup soon, he was hungry and Nookie the house-elf (Who had to be the single most amazing cook on the planet which is why he was still confused as to why she only cleaned the library) always had a soft spot for him as a student and he was trying to think of how he could convince her to make his dinner without giving his identity away- After all, he was probably the only one who remembered her let only knew her.

"Well, you bat, what are you waiting for? Go play with your jumentous chemistry set."

Snape snarled, "Don't you dare-"

"Don't _you_ dare, slimy slubberdegullion!"

Sophos, naturally, snorted a laugh.

Marv really needed to get the dictionary that those two and Selynda seemed to have; he felt oddly left out.

"You need shampoo! _Majorly_. Do you even_ know_ the effects your nastiness has on society? Or are you just sadistic, finding pleasure in others ill health? What do you think happens to the commoners after they see you? First, they turn all green. Then they throw up. Then they break out into a fever, then get all clammy then faint, then go into a coma and die. Are you _happy_? You make civilians _die_!"

Sophos was cracking up by know, his laughter filling the room like a breath of fresh spring air.

Marv had to admit, he wasn't faring any better.

Ria was staring in apparent bewilderment at Sophos and Marv, but Marv could see she was smirking. "Why are you laughing? I'm being serious. He almost killed these twins- I think their names were Cami and Cody. Poor kids. Almost didn't make it- thankfully Mr. Slime was there on time. BOO!" Ria jumped up, and pounced down next to the boy who gave a startled yelp and fell off the couch.

Ria sniggered. Snape sneered. Marv snorted.

"My, my, Sophos," the girl said with relish. "Did you do something_ unintentional_ again? This is the best day ever… Well, it won't be in about twenty minutes, but it's been great so far…"

She reached over the armrest of the sofa and picked up the carrier that she had Mrs. Norris in. Marv (Those brats be damned! Why _Marv? _Honestly!) almost forgot about that nasty little secret of the coot's.

"Can one of you give this to Shila? I have work to do."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The eleven year old girl wasn't a happy camper.

Literally.

She scowled as she pushed another branch out of the way, ducking below it, before, once again, tripping over an exposed root.

She hated this. Really, really hated it.

While she was never the prime and proper pureblood lady, delicate and dainty, she never claimed to like the outdoors. She also never insinuated she wanted to be kidnapped and dumped in the middle of some frost that was crawling with insects and disease infested animals.

Thankfully the only animals she confronted so far had been deer- At least she was relieved until she remembered there was a breed or something like that were meat-eaters. Or was it that they were all meat-eaters and vegetarians- what's the muggle name? Olminin- No, Omninhors? No…Omnivores? No, no, that wasn't it…

Therefore, one hint of a bambi (that's what Tracy called deer, and she still didn't know why as Tracy said she heard it from what's-her-name) and she bolted like the Grim was hounding after her.

"_Millie…_"

Millicent Bulstrode stopped dead, tensing as she felt icy wind hit her back causing her robes to flap and billow around her body as if it was caressing her from the cold. The hairs on the back of her neck rose.

_Nobody_ but her cousin_ ever_ called her that- she would have throttled them- but Jenna was a special case because she never stopped jabbering, thus giving her no time to tell her to shut her trap and if she did punch her then it'd only make her even more illegible.

"…_listen… you must…"_

"W-who are you?" Millicent tried to talk steadily but she knew she stammered it out. Her heart was pounding so hard she was surprised it didn't jump out of her chest or that no accidental magic happened, like setting the forest on fire or summoning a bambi to attack her attacker-spirit-thing.

"…_Don't… Listen… comes time_…"

Millicent wanted to run, she really did, but she her muscles were locked and didn't feel like they'd be relaxing any time soon.

"… _Solstice… Light_…"

She tried to understand the meaning of the words but she couldn't. Her eyes darted futilely around the thick brush of trees, no figure, not even a ghost like she thought it was, in sight.

"…_Hogmanay…_"

What the bloody hell? Did it mean _Hogwarts_?

"…_Shesha…not seven… Doom_…"

This wasn't worth it, it really wasn't.

"Seven is the magical number!" Millicent started furiously, suddenly not giving one hoot if this was a stalking spirit or a hallucination. "What are you playing at-"

"_Listen… little girl… birds…. crabs_…"

Millicent's eye twitched.

Her fist clenched.

Her nostrils flared.

_No one called her little girl!_

With a roar that was like a cannon blast in the still forest she spun around and-

"AHH!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"_Spyro_!"

"What! What's wrong? You didn't tell Cat Lady to-"

"Of course not," Maria spat, exasperated, trying to hold in her panic.

"Well, spit it out," He said impatiently, probably because of her tone.

Maria compulsively clutched the phone, and she tried to keep her legs steady as she stalked to where Filch was sulking. She swallowed. "I-I think I might be the reason for Cineraceus Mors."

Silence.

"Wow. You're even more insane then Shila. Congrats, I never knew you had it in you. I'm so proud."

Maria felt like she had a chunk of ice stuck in her throat (Which was entirely possible). "You don't understand!" She exclaimed. "I just did something _stupid_."

Now Spyro seemed exasperated. "What, Ria?"

"I basically told you-_him_- Shila and Marv that I'm from the future!"

"… Err, what? I don't remember that."

"_Exactly_!" Maria cried. "You- he- even knew it! I could tell- he knew exactly what I was talking about!"

"…Cool."

"_What_?" Maria snarled.

"Seems I was wrong about something…"

Maria laughed hysterically. "You're always right, remember?"

"I assure you, you're wrong."

"_Ooh_, paradox," Maria spat venomously. "Funny, I thought that I was the one dealing with one."

"There are plenty of paradoxes, Ria," Spyro said, sounding maddeningly calm. "Don't worry- enjoy it."

"There wasn't supposed to be a paradox!"

"Well, maybe there isn't. Stop getting so worked up."

Maria's nose twitched dangerously and she hissed, "Stop getting so- Oh, _I'm going to kill you_!"

"No you won't." There was obvious amusement in his voice that made Maria dig her nails into her palm so she didn't break the phone by imagining it as Spyro's neck. "'Cause then there'd really be a paradox… No? Don't you think so? I thought my death would be pretty detrimental…"

Maria gritted her teeth. "Oh?" she growled. "Do enlighten me, _Sparky_, but it seems pretty bad. Aren't you the damn Guardian? You aren't acting like it!"

"Don't call me that!" Spyro snapped. "I get enough of that from Koru. And yeah I am, you're just freaking out, so _stop cursing_ you're freaking _me_ out!"

"You should be!" Maria yelled furiously into the phone, ignoring the startled looks of the portraits as they looked around to see who she was screaming at- they really needed to learn that they were in the twenty-first century, not still stuck in the medieval ages. "_God damn_, Spyro, its _fuc_-"

"_Don't_!" Spyro cried out in panic. "That's just plain _weird_, Maria! _Shesha_, I'm just pointing out to you that I could have _Obliviated_ them without anyone finding out!"

Maria was shocked into silence.

"Oh," She then said softly, mentally berating herself. "I'm sor-"

"No need for an apology," Spyro interrupted wearily, "You were nerv-"

"I wasn't going to apologize!" Maria snapped. "I was going to say- sorbate!"

There was a pause and Maria could practically imagine him blinking.

She, personally, wanted to bash her head in with a bat.

"Err, Ria, you do know that sorbate is a-"

"I know what it is!"

Yes, she knew perfectly well that sorbate was a salt of sorbic acid. Just because she knew it didn't mean that Spyro had to know she knew it was a stupid thing to say.

"…Okay then."

Maria bit back a groan and called the shadows to wrap around her body, like Spyro taught her, so Filch wouldn't have to see who she was when she put him out of his misery- This, according to Shila, was one of the most important things that she had to do in the past. Maria didn't know if she meant hiding her identity or killing the man.

"Gotta go," Maria grumbled irritably.

"Have fun," Spyro sneered sardonically, but Maria could tell by the undercurrent of concern in his voice that he wasn't trying to be mean.

"I'm sure I will," Maria muttered dryly and hung up before he could reply.

This would be her first kill, and while she knew it was necessary and that she had trained for this even before Shila and Spyro crashed into her life, she still felt dread elope her, threatening to drag her down.

Blinking back tears, she approached the grieving man who was looking for his poor wife.

She had been told that assassinations were meant to be done efficiently and quietly, all evidence destroyed.

But she couldn't. She had to- just _had_ to- tell this man that his wife would be in peace.

And that the old man was going down.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Spyro sighed, stuffing the phone into his pocket.

His good mood had vanished quickly, same as it always had this past year.

So he lied. So what? He was _meant_ to lie; he had told himself so, meaning that Magick wanted him to lie, so he shouldn't feel so guilty.

He had more important things to deal with, like finding Tonks before she stumbled on something dangerous, such as the Heliopaths, or the Crumpled-Horned Snorkack.

Nevertheless, he felt that hair-raising, goosbump producing, ice cold shiver run through his back that had and will always predict approaching Doom.

Spyro rounded a corner and because he had his head bowed in shame and hands stuffed into his pockets, he was quite taken off guard when he walk smack into someone who gave a grunt of surprise.

Spyro looked up incredulously, properly startled for the first time in months. He hadn't been caught unawares since… What? When he was six? _Maybe_ first year?

Thankfully, it was only Tonks.

Of course. When he didn't _actually _want to find her so soon, she just runs right into him! Where was the justice?

He couldn't even hold onto his bizarre and irrational anger when he saw that her shoulders were slumped and she was casting him guilty looks. She glanced continually between his face and her shoe.

God dammit. This was all Pax's fault! _Hufflepuffs_, honestly…

"I'm really sorry, Salazar," Tonks murmured in a small voice. "That was completely out of line. So I wanted to give you this."

Not even giving him a chance to tell her that he had found it all very amusing or to ask her what she was giving him, and shoved a rather heavy jar into his hands, making him scramble so he didn't loose his grip.

Spyro stared at it, speechless.

This was just…

"I thought that this was what you really needed."

Spyro blinked at her, the only thing that came through his indifferent mask that he was desperately trying to hold.

"This is honey…"

"The best honey." Tonks grinned happily.

Spyro was really starting to feel like an agelast, which is a title that should really only belong to Bat Grease. Even talking to Ria didn't help, but it really shouldn't have anyway seeing as she had been screaming and rambling nonsense and using laochezia which was really uncharacteristic of her.

"Right…" Spyro tried to pull himself together. He was trying to get Tonks under the impression that he could bounce back from anything because if she didn't believe in him this wouldn't work and then there really would be a paradox. "Now I can catch Big Bee!" Here he beamed at her as though she had done some huge favor even though he was trying with all his might to keep the expression on his face and not sound like he was dying from dippoldism.

"Can I help?" Tonks asked excitedly, her hair turning from a dull mousy brown to vibrant yellow.

"Of course!" Spyro exclaimed, wondering if he was sounding a tab bit hysterical. "You can pretend to be… the chief executive of a law firm and we can sue him while we break the law as we do it!"

This was his brilliant plan…

Holy Shesha. He was losing it.

… Oh the irony.

"YES!" Tonks cheered, pumping her fist into the air. "Just one thing…"

"Yeah?" Spyro said, trying not to close his eyes and just fall asleep there. He really needed to visit his Domus.

"Who's Big Bee?"

Spyro nearly groaned out loud and hit his head against the tunnel wall. He wasn't in the mood for this. He had the mulligrubs.

Sighing wearily, Spyro started. "He's an ultracrepidarian, you see, much worse then a batrachophagous, and…"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Selynda yanked opened the door still puffing and huffing with Daphne right on her heels, sounding as though she was close to hyperventilating.

They had to have just run at least three miles, Selynda was sure.

Her knees were bucking, reminding her that she really shouldn't have run that much, she never had legs before, she'd forget how to use them again like she did the first time that she and Sophos had went to the gym. Talk about embarrassing.

But she really, really had to get away from the scene of the crime- and Daphne, of course- in hope that the portraits wouldn't notice and alert Big Bee, which she was now realizing was a stupid course of action. She should have took a round-about route and rushed to Malfoy's side- like she was checking to make sure he was okay- and asked him a gazillion questions like, _"What happened?" "Why is there a frozen kid on top of you?" "Why are you acting like such a school-girl?"_

That would have made them seem innocent! But _noo_, she just had to ruined it, and now the portraits could give a nice little description of what they looked like-

"SELYNDA!"

Selynda yelped, startled, as her snake-child appeared out of nowhere and barreled into her.

"That cat-!" "-You wouldn't believe-!" "-water-!" "-Ria!" Was the only thing that Selynda could make out of Sophos' nonstop word vomit.

* * *

**Okay, it stops there but, like I said, there was supposed to be more. Eh. Deal with it. The story will be better anyway. **

**Sooo, if you, for some incomprehensible reason, love the way it's written now then I'll give you an estimated two months to copy it down somewhere. Err… I don't mean that you can steal my work and say that it's yours and stuff like that… copyright, you know.**

**And so we part (sorta) my dears, but I'll be back.**

**(MWAHAHA! Sorry, had to get that out. Oh, a question! **Ethorin**, crazy places have orange padded rooms now? What happened to white? And why**_** orange**_**, purple is so much prettifuler! And yes, I'm deliberately being annoying- just so you know)**

**~Vayah**


	13. AN SORRY!

_**A/N: Hey, guys!**_

_**Okay, I'm about ready to start posting the revised version (I still want to go over it a few times to make sure I have everything how I want it) but I need to know if it would be better to make the new one into a different story or if I should just change the existing chapters. It would be called practically the same thing, just, **_**Cineraceus Mors: I, Principium **_**if I was to post a whole new story. 'Book' is a little much, right? **_

_**Answer people, or else you'll probably be really mad, and that'll just be annoying. **_

_**Oh! And I picked out the names for the whole series. Translated they are: I, 'Beginning,' II, 'Backwards' or 'Thrown backwards,' III, 'Endless' or 'Infinity,' IV, 'Equality,' V, 'Heroes' or 'demigods,' VI, 'Calamity' or 'Density' or 'Doom,' VII, 'Grace.'**_

_**Don't over-think it. I can promise it's not actually what you think- or at least I don't think what you think is what I think. **_

**Cineraceus Mors: I, Principium**

**Cineraceus Mors: II, Supinus**

**Cineraceus Mors: III, Infinita**

**Cineraceus Mors: IV, Aequalitas**

**Cineraceus Mors: V, Heros **

**Cineraceus Mors: VI, Fatum**

**Cineraceus Mors: VII, Venia**

_**Yes, it's throughout Sophos' and Selynda's seven years of schooling. Sorta. And yes, those really are the Latin forms, I checked about fifty times. **_

_**Tell me!**_

_**~Vayah**_


	14. AN NEW CM IS UP!

_**A/N: **_**Cineraceus Mors: I, Principium**_** is now up. Have fun.**_

_**And yes of course there will be humor! Jeez, I make **_**one**_** story that's sorta serious (and not even finished yet), and suddenly you guys think I don't know how to be funny… kidding. Anyway, if you remember, most of said humor comes later in the story and not right at the beginning. But, yeah… whatever.**_

_**Thank you all so much whoever read this story and whoever reviewed! I'd write down everyone's names and everything, but I personally find that annoying when an author does that, so why would I waste your time?**_

_**Quote; The Encyclopedia of Useless Information, by William Hartston:**_

'_**Daylight Saving**_

_**The U.K. Parliament passed a bill to introduce daylight saving and British Summer Time in May 1916, but it was not without opposition at all levels of society. Lord Balfour produced one of the most ingenious arguments against putting the clock forwards an hour during the summer months. Referring to the night when the clocks went back again, he said, "Supposing some unfortunate lady was confined with twins and one child was born ten minutes before one o'clock… the time of birth of the two children would be reversed… Such an alteration might conceivably affect the property and titles in that house."'**_

_**Am I the only one who thinks that is absolutely brilliant? Probably… Here's another one, same source:**_

'_**Pig**_

_**On July 17, 1408, a sow was hanged in the French town of Ponte de l'Arche, having been convicted "for the crime of having murdered and killed a young child.'**_

_**Ha, ha, ha… I love that book. It's so funny! (Obviously that wasn't the best in there, but I was flipping through the pages-)**_

**Spyro: Will you shut up, Vayah? I'm trying to sleep!**

**Me: AHHH! Holy shit- you're not real!**

**Spyro: I'm not…? Cool! How am I here then?**

**Me: [glancing around desperately] Time to visit the psychologist…**

_**~Vayah**_


End file.
